You've got a brief window to figure out what you want to give the world.
Nothing is free and you've locked yourself down so much in the basic things people do with eachother. Like chit chat or small talk that isnt deep enough for you or you dont understand thatgive and take.
Do you have a job? Bring donuts in once a week. People need to know your trying. They will even hang out with the crumugen guy if you make an effort.
Your trying to get on your feet and youll need help getting momentum. No one is going to come get you though. You have to make that genuine effort. Youre the bad guy in the movie that needs a heart of gold to begin his transformation.
if you lived in a village 15000 years ago. And everyone either farmed, hunted, or crafts. Would you fit in then? Without modern pressures of keeping up with superficial cultute. Just you and your people and your craft.
Id find a way to get a giving mentality going. Ultimately you reap what you sow. You have sowed a lot of negative seeds. Its worth the work. But its work