Originally Posted by
IndiReloaded
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There's You, Me, and Us. The 'Us' part is born from both of you, like a child, a new entity that didn't exist before.
But that doesn't mean You & Me disappear. You & Me has wants and needs still after the birth of Us.
Think about it: without either You or Me, there can't *be* an Us. It dies without input from both. If I were less tired I could probably come up w/some erudite chemistry metaphor but I'm sure you get it.
I'm sure you have seen marriages where one person drowns themselves in their partner. You can see those train wrecks happening in slow motion. Its like watching someone suicide their soul and, usually, their partner loses respect for them as well.
There's no shame in 'getting' from your partner, so long as they 'get' too. Same goes for giving, tho gotta watch for that. Some folks are brainwashed into feeling okay about giving of themselves, but are afraid to ask for what they want. I personally think that a lot of marriage problems arise when partners (women, especially) don't know how to assertively get what they want w/o being aggressive. No negotiating skills. If I were you, I'd look for an intelligent, decent gal who comes from a reasonable sized family with siblings. She'll have had to learn to compromise.