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Yeah i get what you mean, and thank you. I posted a new thread up before, because i was in need of urgent help, because i was going to break NC. She posted a note up FaceBook, that somehow got into my mini-feeds, and it was:
Honestly, if you wanted to get laid right now, could you?
;]
Do you believe your ex cares about you?
Highly doubt that one.
Do you give out second chances way to easily?
Ner.
Currently waiting on something/ someone?
Might be like,
Do you keep in contact with any of your ex- boyfriends/ girlfriends?
Nah.
Are you single at this point and time?
I am, yes.
Has anyone ever taken you for granted?
LOL.
Who did you see last shirtless?
;]
I don't know why, but it has really got to me. And it's made me feel like, just breaking NC, to let her know i care. Also, just the questions etc, makes me feel, abit like sh*t basically. I know it's my own curiosity that caused this, but still, it's got to me.
In addition; may have to delete one of the threads, because i needed an urgent reply, so needed a new thread. So it's unfair having 2 threads up there of me.
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Dont worry Ive got loads. I should have done what you did here. Ive got told off for it :S
yeh Ive had to stop my ex's stuff being posted up on my minifeed on facebook. Its rubbish cos it doesnt actually help. I end going to his page anyway.
It seems she knows you'll obviously read it. Maybe you should write a note too, and put in the 'does your ex care' bit, something like 'I don't know but I cared for her', that way you're not breaking NC cos you're not actually talking to her. And she doesnt know if you're aiming that at her or just saying it in general. Though I dont know if thats a bit childish, but it's a way around it, I suppose.
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Yeah, that sounds like a very good idea, I'm going to wait a few days then post one it isn't so obvious. Childish yes, but it's a suggestion (: thank you, it's a good idea.
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Hah it's stupid. Don't bother with the games.
Remember, you have to stop yourself when you are faced with the decisions of looking at the ex's page. What could possibly be the best thing to come of it? Nothing.
Will it bring out the worst in your emotions? Yes.
Gotta reason with yourself and stop doing it. The note isn't going to do anything productive, and you know your sole reason of doing it is for your ex. Just don't.
You are better than this. C'mon.
Leave facebook alone for a bit. Do what I do: If somebody friends you or comments on something, read it in your email, and just leave it alone. You aren't going to lose out if you aren't on facebook for a couple days.
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Yeah i suppose you're right. Just the whole "My ex doesn't care for me". Got me thinking, i know her very well, and because i haven't been talking to her, she'll think i don't care, and she's the kind of girl that just won't bother if she feels like that. She'll think i'm a waste of space, i don't know, like it feels like my best way, with my ex, is to talk to her, but i know NC, is what everyones saying is the best, it just doesn't seem like it, especially for my ex.
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Well like I think about proving yourself, if you have to tell people that this is who you are and this is how I feel, what are you really proving? Saying I don't care about him anymore more likely says she still does. But that's not important because if she doesn't say it to you it doesn't mean anything.
People that feel a certain way and are a certain person don't try to prove things. It's insecurity that makes us feel like we have to prove something.
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Yeah i get what you mean, i suppose that's made me feel insecure in terms of whether she feels like i still care.
I made a note a week ago, i think i posted it up here, and i think she got annoyed by it. Even my friends have pointed out things, even old friends of her, are saying things like, why is she playing the victim when she done it? People are pointing out that like the groups she joins of FaceBook, are directed at me. I'm quick to tell them, it's assumption and not certainity, but in a way it does make sense. I've always been a person who avoids assumption, but it can just lead to heartbreak, or just bad things, but it does make sense in a way, certain things do add up.
But she is an extremely complicated person, her ex best friends told her that. She walked all over her ex best friend, who happens to me a close friend of mine now, so they stopped being friends etc. She liked me and waited 6 months, to tell me. She got with someone before we got together, to "make me jealous" and want her more. She want me to ask her out, so she got with someone to force it. She's quite complicated.
In a way i'm not trying to make that much of the note, but it does feel abit aimed at me in a way, and it does hurt a little.
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Drama, drama, drama. She's awful.
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She's always been a drama queen in a sense. She'll create things out of nothing. Many people think she's an attention seeker, she gets jealous easy as well. I just don't understand some of her motives at the minute.
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Frail, the more time you think about this "games" it'll just set you back moving on...just go and delete her from facebook..trust me if you really want to move on do that. i know you care about her but right now you have to care about yourself, because of what she did was basically did for herself even its for the better or worst.
i deleted my ex on facebook, i even blocked her because you know what it doesn't help me moving on seeing her picture everytime, she even post comments on my buddies page. this whole facebook thing going on with you two is just seem so childish, i think you should take the high road and be more mature.
im on my 3 months right now and well im doing better i thought i will be, less mood swings, i think about her less and less, keeping busy helps and ive been going out a lot so my suggestion to you is do you man, don't think about oh i wonder what she'll think about if i do this. get your independence back!
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Yeah, pretty much. Blocking is the easy way out and maybe it will make her want you more. But it's all about your cool, calm composure. Or what you are trying to project. Any reaction to her is a reaction to her. If she doesn't matter, then it wouldn't bother you. That's what we are aiming for here. Indifference. You already removed her from your minifeed, you should know by now that you cant click on her page unless you want to go backwards. You don't need to block her.
Don't get sucked into the games. You are happy and fine and don't care about her (or you need to act like it). Unless she is brought up, don't even bring it up with her friends or ex friends or whatever. Even if it does, just act like it doesn't bother you and change the subject. If you have to get something out, post it here, IM or do whatever you got to do PRIVATELY.
It's important to do this and will ensure the best possible results. There isn't really much more to figure out about this is there? Your only real question is if she still cares. And you won't get that answer anytime soon.
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Maybe my idea was really childish. I apologise. I think she obviously still wants your attention and as you said that she is an attention seeker, you retaliating means you're playing into her games and she'll love it. but you're not getting what you want out of the situation. Basically its a lose lose situation for you cos she thinks she has you and you'll be causing yourself more hurt and pain.
I've got to this point now, where Im over the crying and moping much less. Ive blocked him and his friends from my newsfeed so I dont' have to see what he's up to. I'm trying not to go to his page as much, and surprisingly not knowing is helping. Maybe you should try that, then at least she not gone until you're actually ready to let her go. Don't go on her profile as much/at all - its like a 'security blanket' - she's there if you need her, and until you're at the point of being over. Im trying to do that.
I stayed in last night for the first time since the break up. I didnt want to just go out all the time and use that as my escape, cos that would create a hell of a lot more problems.
I don't know if Ive mentioned somewhere else that he text me on weds a jokey text about the football match that was on. I havent replied because Im still not sure what to do.
Anyways, last night I was on facebook. I'd forgotten to block his band's page from my news feed and there was a lyric note he posted. It was about how 'we don't talk' now and ' Im urs & ur mine & we'll be happy in time', 'whisper sweet somethings, realised the fool Ive been, 'I dont wanna lose this situation'
I'll admit I dont' know if its about me. And curiousity got the better of me so I went on his page (the shame!) and it was full of lyrics about missing someone, and how he thinks this weekend will be boring etc etc.
Then he posted the link for the lyric note on his own profile wall as well so he obviously wants someone to see them, dont know if that someone is me.
The past few days Ive been fine, i still am I guess but its still making me think....
I feel bad for not texting back but I wasnt sure about what I wanted yet. Still not.
My friends say leave things for a while and let him see what life is like without me, cos up until now, even though we havent been together, he's still contacted me and Ive foolishly answered. So really I have still been around.
On his band's page, it says how they've got a tour happening later in the year, which he told me about when it was first mentioned to them and he seemed so excited about (obviously!). I feel bad for not texting congratulating him. I know he could have text me but I think he probably doesnt know what Im thinking now as Ive been so open with him in the past. He always apologises for pestering me (after the break up). My friend said leave it a few days then do it so he's knows I'm still 'available' but not at his beckon call as Im still not 100% sure what to do about him. I don't want to play games though.
I don't know.... just wanted to write about it anyway, I think everyone around me is getting as sick of everything as I am lol. So I thought I'd pester you lot lol, sorry.
xxxx
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Why is she even still your friend on facebook? Sounds like you both want drama. You are both playing childish ass games. Grow up and get over each other.
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You just recently broke up. You are going through a grieving period. Give yourself time to grieve. Think about what happened and why you should move on.
I don't know the details but you obviously need some time to grieve the end of the relationship. This sounds natural. The passage of time will help. Try to do something you enjoy. Some wallowing is ok but recognize if it goes too far.
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Hey again guys, thanks for the responses. Right, i've been to town etc, alot more recently, met loads of new people. Anyways, her mini-feeds are blocked on Facebook.
There is this girl, who i used to be very close with before me and my ex first dated. We ended up going our seperate ways, and we fell out. My ex HATED her, and i disliked her alot. I promised i'd never speak to her again, because i don't like her etc. Anyways, she's been trying to contact me for months now. A week after me and my ex broke up, i accepted her on MSN and Facebook. Anyways, we got speaking and she was COMPLETELY different.
Anyways, to the point. She commented on my facebook status' and likes a few of my status'. Although my ex's feeds are blocked, me and my friend got in from town last night, he went on Facebook. And in the mini-feeds her status was. "Mate, your a absolute twat, i despise the ground you walk on."
That was about 10 minutes after she started commenting on status' etc. Anyways, i know my ex is talking to a new guy now, but it seems, she comes down on me hard, if i do something "wrong", or against what she likes...
Any suggestions?
