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Ya don't expect getting married will make this issue go away. You are thinking like a girl....grow some and just get the poor lady some help and support whatever issue it may be. Work with her not against her.Quote:
Originally Posted by sookie6 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I don't know that you should leave her right now, but you definitely need to postpone the wedding immediately. Tell her that you're not ready to get married to her because of the way she treats you and you're going to leave her if things don't change.
If she is not discussing it with you then it could be anything.
Maybe she is rethinking getting married again, maybe she has too much on her plate or maybe she is concerned of having more children so soon.
Is she on the pill or do you use condoms?
Perhaps she feels like you don't understand her when she expresses herself so she has resorted to being pushy.
As frustrating as it is, And I don't know how you can survive twice in 7 months without giving yourself a hand with some psychologically pleasing porn or going to a brothal, I don't think it is her duty to satisfy you or be your only source of release.
My partner refuses me sex as well because he says it is like starting up a chainsaw that goes out of control...
So I've learnt to please myself with other techniques..
If you and your partner are uncomfortable masturbAting in front of each other.. Then you do need serious help.
2 times in 7 months, sounds like my sex life sometimes.
Besides that, yes, a baby is a -huge- drain on her. Her space, her physical energy, her intimacy, everything.
That being said, I also tend to side a little with the people that feel that regardless, she should be making an effort to be available.
I used to feel like a sack of shit for thinking like that, but it's simple really.
Relationships are about compromise, support, and intimacy.
There are two (3 people really) that have needs and wants. And it's a partners responsibility to at least make the effort to enable their partners ability to meet their needs, and some of their wants.
I'm sure you're expected to help beyond what you've got the energy or desire to do.
Make sure you do your part, and enable her to get alone time and relaxation time. Beyond that, it's not unreasonable for her to maybe suck it up and try to be intimate.
Sadly though, this isn't really something you jump up and announce, or enforce. If she's unwilling to find a middle ground she can deal with, then maybe you need to get help or move on.
Don't let your feelings on the matter be ignored, or silent. Be respectfull, but don't be a pussy.
If it's important to you, then she needs to step up and let you know what she's willing (or not) to do, and then you can make a choice.