I'm still letting go every day. It's impossible for me to go cold-turkey though like I previously attempted. I've accepted that this woman shouldn't be my love interest any more, but I'll still take any love from her that she's willing to give. At least having her come see three times in the last week reminds me that I'm not alone in my loneliness. I don't care what else she has going on, but if she wants to see me occasionally then at least I know that she still thinks about me. She even still has a plan for us to move in together (that she formulated and shared with me). It's just funny because even though we are going out and looking at places to move into, and making future plans together - I have absolutely intention of moving in with this woman. Still, it makes me feel a lot better knowing that she isn't as happy without me as I initially thought she was. She tells me I'm the only guy that "does it for her", and hearing that made me feel a lot better about myself but only further cemented that I can't trust this woman and she doesn't deserve what I was offering her.Quote:
Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Furthermore, she's been acting really odd and even lustful towards me, which is interesting because I can't remember the last time she attempted to seduce me. She would pushily inquire about how many sexual partners I've had since I've been with her because she says it turns her on, as well as details of what I've done with other women. In fact, this has come up multiple times and she gets angry when I tell her that I'd prefer to not talk about it. The second time she pushed this question on me, I lying hinted that I've been with multiple women since her, and her mood instantly dropped from talkative to being quiet and withdrawn. In the middle of the last time we had sexual 'relations', she demanded me to tell me to tell her that "she's the best" (of the women I've been with). She was also really insistent on me choking her and beating her during intercourse. It's as if she wants to be submissive sexually, yet she's clearly dominating the direction of where things go. Does any of that stuff actually mean anything?