He will be there for you through this too. You just have to let him in so he can help you. I know it must be really difficult for you. You should try sex therapy or even hypnosis. Sex is a healthy part of a relationship. Its a way to build trust, it brings you closer, makes you feel loved etc. It creates a bond between you and makes you love each other more...
Your view of sex is distorted because of the bad experience you had and its normal for you to feel that way but you need to focus on moving forward, healing, learning to change your opinion on it and learning to trust your bf enough to know he wont hurt you or force you. Learning to enjoy sex and not thinking its bad or dirty etc. It will take time but that should be your goal
xx