must point out i've offered her that help many times and shes always said no as she didn't want our relationship to be about money as shes well aware she'd struggle to pay it back, she has got integrity in some ways, people can be an odd mix i guess, not really with her because i feel i owe her its more that for the first time in a long time this girl has given me some hope that i can be happy in this world, not so eager to throw that chance away, as for my ever certain friend up there i'm very aware of when she turned onto this path and i won't dignify the rest with a response