Lilia if you "love, love, love" yourself and have "really high standards" then why are you f**king a player and ignoring all the red flags and warning signs AGAIN. Your behaviour, your taste in men and your laxy daisy attitude about this stranger cuming on/in you says you actually have a low sense of self worth and so desperate to feel loved/wanted/desired that you will settle for anything/anyone
If your standards are as high as you say they are then you would ensure that the dude also has a good personality and heart as well as good looks BEFORE hopping into bed with him. And you would not keep falling for mr a**hole again and again