Originally Posted by
anachronistic
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True understanding comes out of experience, not explanation.
Instead of being angry and being filled with hatred, spend your time going over moments from the past where the outcome of situations went awry. Examine the things which went wrong, and don't point the finger out of blame; you'll see.
Despite whatever problems this girl had, it is you who carries the weight of fault. You fell in love, you decided to be with this girl, you wanted to marry her, you attached yourself to her. Whether she felt this way and you chased her away, or her feelings were completely fabricated, it does not matter; it is your fault that you didn't notice and act upon it fast enough. The foundation of your anger is your feeling innocent.
You know what though? Anger is so pointless, on contrary to what you think. Go ahead and be angry at whomever, go on a rant and a rave, kicking buckets and punching holes in the wall. Are you going to let a little emotional attachment get the best of you? What are you getting out of all that? Nothing, really. Forget about this girl, and focus on making yourself a better person; that is most important. You need to learn to build a good sense of judgment. Make yourself a better person. Listen to what people have to say with a grain of salt. Make yourself a better person.