If you don't want to look desperate then don't have a sexual video chat with him. As soon as you do that without having even met him, you will be telling him that is your role in his life, to masturbate and nothing more with him over camera. Don't you want a decent man who will actually be in your life, take you on dates, fall in love with you eventually?
You need some councelling and a "buddy system" where you have a same sex friend that will talk you down off the ledge when you get so desperate that you'd drop trow for some ****tard you've only have one conversation with.