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Conan the Cimmerian said it best in one of Robert E. Howard's stories. He pointed out that in Cimmeria everyone is polite and well-mannered, unlike the assholes in so-called civilized cities. Reason being, if you aren't polite and well-mannered around a Cimmerian you get your skull split with an axe. I always loved that passage. Wish I could find it and quote it exactly.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Conan also said it best in his first movie Conan the Barbarian, which is a classic. He's sampling his first experiences of a city after a life spent in Hyboria's wilderness. It's late and he's drunk and he's walking down some stairs and he passes a group of women of dubious virtue who call out to him, and he goes:
""Ah, they're all sluts!" And then he punches a camel in the head. I truly love that movies.
Forum Rat
A completely forgettable message board user. Somewhere there is most likely a factory churning them out by the thousands. You'll know you're in the presence of a forum rat when you read a post and get the sudden strong feeling that you've read the exact same post before. Main characteristics of a forum rat:
-Infrequent or nonexistent use of capital letters and/or punctuation.
-Bizarre behavior and use of the English language, which is often described as either ghetto, otaku, forum female, fanboy, or even l33t d00d, or a combination of the above.
-Avatar consisting of an anime or video game character, animated sprites from Metal Slug or Final Fantasy, or the forum default Homer Simpson picture.
-Username consisting of at least five numbers or underscores.
-Huge, ugly Photoshop abortion of a signature which may stretch the page frames.
-Terrible or nonexistent lack of personality
-Completely worthless, typical, or irrelevant opinion on anything.
Most forum rats are preteen kids, and often either a fanboy, wigger, jock. Though they come and go, no board is safe from them unless the admin only lets his/her friends register.
Forum Addict
These people originate on the Eastern coast of the USA. Often these individuals visit internet forums and post statements that make no sense and are of no relevance to the topic that is being discussed.
They have no control of their disorder and will stop at nothing to get another pointless sentance posted on some forum.
Quentin7234: Why did that guy just post on the forum that his dog doesn't eat sugar free biscuits, when this forum is about Battlefield 2?
Soothie1932: I think that guy is a "Forum Addict", he posts on average 43 times a day on this site and I am yet to see him make any sense.
Quentin7234: Well, I wish he would stop. He makes me uncomfortable.
Forum Troll
A forum troll is someone who actively watches a forum. Not to be confused with a lurker, or just a forum frequenter, the troll annoys, pesters, and generally insults any thread they open.
-- Interweb : "My dad called me yesterday and said that the house was up for sale and I have to move and now I won't have any friends and I'm so sad I don't even know how to use punctuation it's insane."
-- Forum Troll : "I've become dumber just by reading this. Removing you from the genepool would not only be helpful to society, but would be praised in songs for generations."
-- Interweb : "My dad called me yesterday and said that the house was up for sale and I have to move and now I won't have any friends and I'm so sad I don't even know how to use punctuation it's insane."
-- Forum Troll : TLDR <--- Common example of a forum troll response.
Forum Nazi
An Admin or Moderator who is very small in their non PC who abuses the trust and power given to them in order to direct discussion, traffic and post to suit their personal agenda.
Actions include locking, and/or editing post that contain information that is contrary to their own opinion.
Forum Female
A popular female message board user. However, "popular female message board user" is redundant, as the lopsided male/female ratio among internet users ensures that anyone claiming to possess a vagina (even one who is secretly a man) will be held in high regard by the board's horny male users.
The forum female is a specific kind of female user, however, who deliberately flaunts the fact that she is a girl to garner attention. Her username is often something along the lines of "SexySarah5132" or "Surfer_Grrl69". Her posts are usually peppered with flowery poetry, pink text, anime smilies, and innocent sounding laughter (teehee, hehe). Often owns a blog. When the forum female is sad or angry, all she needs to do is post a whine and sit back as the horny male users all shower her with sympathy. Any attempt to flame her will be rendered useless by the legions of her forum "boyfriends", who will quickly repel any attack on her. In time a forum female may become a moderator or admin, which grants her near immunity.
Forum Elitist
A message board user who believes themselves to be superior to other members. This condescending attitude is dictated by one or more of the following:
-Their number of posts
-Their registration date
-Their position (usually moderator)
-How "popular" they are among the other users
The forum elitist cannot accept the fact all members are on the same level, from the administrator to the lowly newbie. As a result, new users are generally treated with contempt and revulsion by the forum elitist, often when they have done nothing but registered at a later date.
A message board can be effectively ruined by forum elitists, as over time they breed, increase their numbers, and spawn an entire inbred forum monarchy, which actively seeks to rule the "peasants" of the board with an iron fist. This terrible fate has befallen more than one forum over the years, and is virtually irreversible once it has been established.
Forum Schizophrenia
An internet disorder caused by an individual who reads a significantly higher number of blog, forum or comment posts by many unique individuals, to the point of hearing voices in his head that do not correspond to his perceived train of thought.
The pathology behind this disorder is believed to reside behind the individuals 'mental voice' - the voice that speaks the words in an individual's mind as he reads - and the lack of a consistent train of thought due to the brevity and uniqueness of blog, forum and comment posts
i.e. each post has a different writing style, tone, train of thought, point of view, that continuing to read these posts, without a rest period to center one's thoughts, can lead to a lack of sense of self, and beginning to hear one's mental voice speak and think in ways that are foreign to the individual
The reason it is specifically an internet disorder, and not common schizophrenia, is probably due to the style of internet writing. i.e. if a person were to read a book, or magazine article, it's length and sense of closure at the end of the article allows an individual to regain their own train of thought.
(brought to you by Urban Dictionary)
I am a Forum Elitist Nazi.
This is fun!
I'd like to submit my own additional definitions for review:
The Forum Thank-aholic
The Forum Thank-aholic gives out gratuitous thank-yous willy nilly to each and every poster. Merely responding to his or her thread is enough to warrant a thanks.
The Forum Clueless Newb
The Forum Clueless Newb is someone who bumps threads that are two years old, prompting other posters to respond to questions that are long since relevant to the original poster. Why? Why? Why? The FCB also responds to posts without reading the entire thread, thereby providing answers that are annoyingly out of context.
The Forum Rebel
These nilhistic creatures usually answer posts with a defiant "Who cares?" or "I rule", eventually making all the other posters wonder just why he/she even bothers coming to the forums to begin with.
In honour of the Forum Thank-aholic I thanked you for your post Starbuck :)
i'm the forum rebel.
I'm an elitist trolll.
I'm an elitist thank-aholic.
ok, so who wants to suck on my nuts next??
raverboy
A clear example of the aforementioned Forum Rebel. Watch it preen in its natural habitat.Quote:
Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So, who's a Forum Peasant? Is that like a Forum Hippie, if so, I'm all over that.
oh don't get jealous because you weren't my first that i presented my nuts to. eventually you'll get your turn if you're lucky.Quote:
Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
raverboy
I'm that thank-aholic thingy ... but i merely want to thank people who give me positive notes ...
I thank people when I agree with them or when I enjoyed their post.