In introspect I know the catalyst for my actions, but the outcome leaves me baffled. I can see a sling-shot effect.
Nobody can imagine all of these being flooded all at once. That's the only way I can explain it.
As I sit here and write that is the only thing my brain is putting out.
What she is doing is definitely counter productive. I offer sincere and honest reflections about situation that 'I' brought up. Totally calm and direct, because there is nothing more behind them that what they are - just infatuations. Yes, I was immature, yes!
Yet, she shut down communication, so she is fueling a fire that has no purpose but to destroy. I just say it like it is. No fluff or snow.
I can see, understand, comprehend, and rationalize deeds and thoughts that have created friction. I can look back and say, "Yes, she had a very valid reason to respond the way she does." But, now I must say, "This is beyond comprehension."
This is not a normal behavior. It borders on ludicrous and ridiculous. Here's my point. I did things that aren't kosher. Yes, I know that. I do and am doing corrective steps.