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That wouldn't have bothered me. In fact, it would have made you sound a little intriguing, and fun. There's nothing wrong with diffusing a question you're not comfortable answering with a little playfulness.Quote:
to which I replied "I'm not telling. Maybe you'll find out eventually."
Laila, I would consider that a good character trait if I were you. If you don't like to play games, and are honest about your sexual past, you are much more likely to have a good relationship. You are by no means , skanky, I wish there were more women like you, that put honesty first.
Well, then your instinct to walk away from this guy is probably best for where you are at. Don't bother trying to work out what they mean. Just recognize that their style isn't one you appreciate. Honesty is primarily about knowing your own mind and motives. Its not necessarily about sharing those thoughts with others.Quote:
Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Be careful you don't overestimate the value of honesty with others, tho. People say they want it, but few actually mean it. Those who do should be treated with suspicion. Only immature and insane people are completely 'honest' all the time. Not only is it impossible to achieve, but its extremely foolish. The people I've met who claim it as an ideal usually lack the mental discipline to realize that life is rarely black and white. They wield 'honesty' like a weapon, and should be avoided b/c they generally have issues. Much like a child that screams their frustration from lack of self-control. They bulldoze the feelings of others claiming that such 'honesty' justifies the broken people they leave in their wake. Its a kind of mental laziness, IMO.
In contrast to some here, I don't really consider the comment you described a 'game', just a recognition that immediately being 'honest' with someone you just met is unrealistic. Human interactions are a bit more complex than this.
Hmm. Maybe "vanilla sex" is too boring for you? It works for some people, but for others, it would be just as exciting to stare at a wall.Quote:
Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
When I'm in a dating relationship that hasn't gotten physical yet, I NEVER bring up the topic of sex. If it's going to come up, I ALWAYS let the girl do it, and I try to judge to what degree she's willing to discuss it before I respond in kind. For me to bring up the topic, if she weren't ready for it, would be grounds for her to call the whole thing off.Quote:
Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That said, I can't speak for most guys, but if a girl starts talking about sex while on a date, regardless of who brought up the topic, that makes her sound like she's interested in having it sooner than later. Granted that may be a false impression, but hell, dating is all about impressions.
I agree with everything here.
You are not a slut, you are just open sexually, and most men will love it, I know I would.
I was seeing a girl a few months ago, all mouth and no action, get drunk and said how wild she was, but really, she was as boring as could be.
If you are open and true, thats great, if you just mouth off to show off, thats not.
Anyway, dont change!
You want him to respect you.Quote:
Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You fundamentaly crave secruity.
Guys don't respect sluts.
To gain secruity he has to respect you.
Theres your answer.