you know what's helped me and m keep our commitment? dogs.
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you know what's helped me and m keep our commitment? dogs.
The children I know who grew up with single parents had it a lot worse than yelling and neglect believe me. Try not having any education because they were forced to work for a living when they hit puberty because mum can't provide any longer. Try getting abused by new mum's boyfriend. Running away from home. Living on the streets.Quote:
Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
In that case you shouldn't get married or have children with a future partner.Quote:
Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
what about two people who are not married and are still a two parent household?
i thought maybe we were talking about them. there's something of a dichotomy going on in this argument.
also, what you just said is no different from my argument about abusive two parent households. there's a good number of both.
My last reply was specific to OV's comments, not to what we discussed.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I don't agree with abusive two parent households (married or non married). They should either find healthy solutions or split for good. Though in proportion to reasons why people split, these are a minority.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
what are the reasons you think people get divorced?
Yeah some of that happened to me, though I won't disclose what. I think everything falls right where it belongs... like that Nine Inch Nails song. For instance, hard work has got me where I am going. I have a friend who grew up the child of a rich realtor and a high school teacher. He's pulling mediocre grades in college, because all he does is play video games and party. Parents buy him everything. I grew up the son of a single mom, with siblings. Somehow I made it out and ended up in college. If you ask me, it was hard work that got me here. And to be honest, I have better grades than that rich guy, and I have 3 times as many disciplines as him. The interesting thing is that there are a lot of people here at my college in the same situation. All made it out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sometimes we forget we are animals. We imagine this perfect world, where every child should start out at the same pace. But here in reality, that will never be viable. And it's hard to see that because we fabricate our own worlds Because we are animals susceptible to the laws of nature. The strong ones live on and the weak ones die off. The weak marriages crumble to divorce, the ones held together by strong love last to death. And that's the funny thing, we expect every marriage to last. We think every love is the same, and that it will conform to vows of marriage. Sometimes love isn't about commitment.
The people who get divorced are the ones who commit themselves without knowing any of that shit. They find out the hard way what all of this is, and then they realize it's not for them. So what? That's just how things are at this day in age. Bravo to anyone who does have a successful marriage. I just think it's silly to advise people not to get married because things didn't necessarily work out for you. That, my friends, is what we call ignorance!
Impulse marriages. People these days get married before they know what love is... before they even know how a successful relationship takes place!Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well, in this country anyway.... I mean, you can't really say marriage in a vaccuum. Our society and everything has a lot to do with this stuff. Especially women's rights and women being independent.
Majority of marriages statistically end due to irreconcilable differences.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
What's sad is that with right understanding of communication, listening and empathic skills (and other), majority of those irreconcilable differences could be reconciled. People just don't invest enough of themselves to make somethings as complicated as a long term relationship work. On many occasions, because giving up is too easy and because they lack proper support.
i guess this is the argument.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
thanks for thanking it cherryb. we haven't progressed much further from this.
even with a contract? i thought you said it wasn't as easy?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
My parents were happily married. My sister experimented with sex and drugs.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
My sister had huge emotional issues all through high school. She resented authority and had depression. To this date, I have attempted suicide four times.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
My sister and I were abused severely. By our mother. Mostly emotionally, some physically. When I turned thirteen, she took to calling my sister and I names, like "slut" and "bitch". My father never said anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
We were poor until I hit middle school. We (the kids) never realized how poor we were. We both got great grades during that time too. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
My point is that anyone can be a bad parent, or a good parent for that matter, whether they're married our not.
And all those arguments aren't necessarily based on fact. They come from a biased site, firstly. Secondly, they are statistics and/or studies. Ever taken a statistics class? You can pretty much make a statistic say whatever you want it to. A study is just as flimsy because they can "study" a group of people that will offer the statistics they desire.
Actual references from the study or lab it came from are best, but still, it may not be factual or represent the truth.
That was one of the first things I thought when I read about not leaving because you're married. People who feel trapped and are too lazy or cowardly to divorce usually turn to *ding ding ding*!!! Cheating!Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I was talking about non marital relationship on that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But yes, even in marriages, people don't invest themselves as much as they should to make it work. The time required to end the relationship is there in hopes they will seize the opportunity and put that time to the right use.
I think that is rather obvious. Marriage just gives additional benefits to the child discussed earlier. They are legal, psychological and cultural benefits. You can choose to give them just the basics or you can choose to give them the full cover. The choice is yours.Quote:
Originally Posted by CherriBlossomGirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You can't tell me not to have children. It is my right to breed that nature gave me. I won't get married though, don't worry.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]