I was a "nice guy" to my ex and when her dog was diagnosed with cancer I was so concerned about upsetting her about anything I ended up getting walked all over.
I didn't stand up for myself when I should have and she just kept on doing it and kept on getting away with it because frankly I was being as weak as piss. I realise now what she actually needed from me was to be strong not "nice"
We went out for a drink on Friday and she got drunk and abused the crap out of me just because we ended up running late so I made her get out of my car and catch the train home. She was being a real bitch and in the past I would have just taken it and made excuses for her behaviour but this time around I didn't and it totally shocked her. She sent me a text saying I had scared her by shouting at her and leaving her in traffic and I was going to reply and apologise because I was feeling guilty (as Mr Nice Guy would have) but instead I just replied with "Suck it up Princess, you deserved it, and don;t contact me again unless it is to apologise)
I feel heaps better for doing that. If I had have responded with an apology I'd be feeling like crap now because it wasn't my fault and I'd only have been doing it to try and make her feel better about me and really after what she did I don't give a stuff how she feels about me.
She will be angry about it for a while, maybe a week or two but she knows she did wrong and I reckon she will look back and actually respect me more for having the balls to do it than she would have if I just took it and apologised when she was the one in the wrong.
Alternatively of course she might just think I was a total wanker for doing it and I'll never hear from her again but really I don't care if I don't. I'm just happy I stood up for myself and told her to get the **** out of my car