Help with my personal goal....

I just don't want to appear like all I do is sit and refresh waiting for it. With a girl, gotta space replies, y'know..

Oh jesus... she can't tell what you're doing on the site. Just read it.

Answer it in half an hour if you don't want to appear too eager... but for the luvagod, don't play stupid games... you're in competition on a dating site. Get there before someone else does.

How many messages before dropping the "let's meet up" bomb?

A couple or three if they seem favorable... then suggest something neutral and public.

Ok...

So I was thinking of saving anything relating to her aspiration to be an actress until some later meetup (if that happens). In the meantime, I'm not sure how to guide the second and third. I think I can do it without ghostwriting, but I'm overanalyzing here...Text is so much more frightening than face to face.

You're really overthinking the whole first message. The girls are just on there doing the same thing as you, looking for people they have something in common with. All you need to do is point out the things that caught your interest and the things you have in common. After that, throw in a question or two so she has something to respond to and you're good.

Editing so I don't double post: If you do much better face to face, why not just try to imagine that the things being said in the text were said in a face-to-face context? Then you can just text whatever you would have said face to face. Good luck.

Actually, I already sent a first message. Now the problem is being redundant, i.e. fixated on the same topic(s). I realize it's important to ask her questions; at the same time, I wanna be fresh.

Now I've got an idea but not sure how to phrase it: I asked her for a suggestion as far as trails for hiking go. She suggested one, which from looking it up is pretty cool. I want to somehow ask about what made it the best hike she's been on so far (her words) but text just leads to so much self-doubt....IRL, I'd just ask it without too much thought and if it sounded dumb would recover easily, I'm sure..

Why don't you just tell her you looked it up and you're thinking about doing the trail yourself now and then ask her what made it more memorable for her then the others. If she comes back again, then maybe ask her if she would like to get a coffee and discuss it in person, that if you hit it off, maybe you could do the trail together?

OK, I did my best and borrowed a bit from Wakeup...

That's all you can ever do, mang... just don't forget to get up and keep swinging if you get knocked down.

I went for days w/o answering dating emails sometimes. Older and busy, I suppose, but the fact remains you never know why someone doesn't answer. Maybe her dog is sick; works is busy; on a trip; her best friend having a breakdown... you don't know. So stop taking it so personally.

Try and try again, LR.

So? What's the news?

No response to this point....

Ya ever finally see that a beautiful chick that doesn't seem unreasonably demanding or conceited lives in your small town? then get to thinking "Aww, what's the point of trying? There are a hundred guys probably on this dating site in this small town alone; she could pick someone way, way better"?