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Why do I always think I can see you again without reverting back to how I felt a year ago? I still love you with all my heart, it hurts me to see you the way you are now and I wish there was some way I could help, but I know I can't. I hope you change yourself for the better, and I hope things start looking up for you. You are perfect in my eyes, despite everything.
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Two years and one month I have known you...in that 2 years I have been through more pain than I could ever imagine. Since I've known you have talked about the nightmares you have about your ex-wife...how you lost your family and will never find that true love again...but would settle for love. Three months in I found out you were cheating. I've been a fool. You'd tell me you would stop. Then when I'd bust you again you'd tell me you couldn't be faithful. That you couldn't be what I wanted you to be. That you didn't love me as much as I loved you.
You've walked away from me so many times and I'd always welcome you back with open arms. You cheated because I was jealous. You weren't asking for sex...it was me who asked for it from you...so you insisted I had no right to be angry or feel used...I had it coming. If I didn't want it I shouldn't have asked for it. In a flash you loved me again...but I didn't dress well enough for you...when I told you I was happy with the way I looked you told me you'd try to deal with my appearance and if you couldn't you would just leave.
You told your family, friends and women you were interested that I was an annoying bitch that wouldn't go away. My sons tried to nice to you...you made it clear to me that you didn't like them. November 2010...you broke up with me after a 2 week period together so that you could go to a football game you had bought tickets for with another woman during one of your separations two months prior.
You told me that if I moved closer to you that you could help me but you couldn't help me from where I was...two years I have lived within 6 miles of you and although I at times have pleaded or even offered to pay you for help, you would not come. March 17th 2012...we'd been apart for a month and as usual we began speaking once again. You asked me to marry you that night. We'd been drinking so the next morning I gave you an out...you didn't want it. You wanted to marry me that day. I knew it wouldn't happen. Within days marriage went to moving in together...So then it was time for me to change it all. My oldest needs a license and a job. My youngest needs a haircut. The three of us needed new clothes and even then you wouldn't permit us to go to church with you and your sons and that was special for you and your kids.
The changes were goals I'd already had but my work schedule kept me from meeting the 2 hour drive for a drivers license test. You began again with "it won't work. you aren't going to obey me and do what I say." You began to ignore me. You continued to talk to women half your age.
I told you this morning I wanted out. I would be changing my number and moving as well. I was done. You asked me to please not change my number today...that you wanted to talk to me later on. 11:30 came. No call. I called you. You hit ignore.
What is it in me that allowed myself to be treated so cruelly. My number is changed now and I refuse to contact you again. Monday I see a therapist to work out in my mind how I allowed myself to be beaten down so badly.
Sunday you told me you didn't love me as much as I loved you. Someday someone will. I believe that.
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**** you ex..
may you and your family die in endless poverty!!
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I have tried a lot this past week to show you im a man that you can love again, but if you cant appreciate me when im at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best.
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I don't want to wish you well. I don't want you to be happy. [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
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I gave you the world and you took it. You gave me life then sentenced me to it. I'm left here to say that I would live for you or die without you.. But it turns out I'm not so lucky as to be stricken from this world. You treated me like dirt, you lied to me cheated me and worst of all you were a hypocrite. You did everything you told me not to do. I forgave you, I told you that I needed time to heal and that I would be your friend when I felt the time was right.. But you have still continued to abuse the privledge of my patience. Coming to my house asking to talk to me when I have clearly and repeatedly stated I'm not comfortable with it, and still continuing to sleep with this sleeze bag who apparently was worth leaving me for.. I'm a total fking disaster with hardly an effort for survival left to give the world and still I love you like no one else. Thanks for the ride, I enjoyed our time together and I'll remember the good times instead of resenting the bad. We both grew and we both learned and although I've hurt for nearly a year now.. Good things come to those who wait. -Optimism, just because pain is persistant and ignorance is vast.. Does not mean that a smile and an open mind can be defeated by pitiful actions.
You're stronger than you think, all of you ! And I hope your heartbreak is mended by all the good things you deserve..
As for me ? I'll survive, I always do !
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Till this day i can't understand the reson why you treated me that way, but i can tell you that i know deep down you are not feeling happy, because you keep showing off, i don't feel the heartbreak as i used to feel anymore, even if i will see your making love pictures :).
After almost 2 years, i know you don't worth a cent. It takes me almost 2 years to feel like i can love again without thinking about you when i meet a new guy, you??? 5 months, Lmao! You are so Cheap!
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I miss you. I wish we could stay up all through the night and laugh together again
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The last thing I said to you is that I regret us. I dont. I am just so pissed off that you let me down. Already with a new girl...I did mean that I feel sorry for her! And that the same thing would happen because you are a serial relationship kinda person and once the girl stops being perfect in your eye you bail. Pussy.
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dear M,
the best thing you ever did was show me that i deserve better. i gave you everything and you never loved me anyway. when you contacted me in 2007 i knew it was because you hit rock bottom and wanted me back. i'm glad you're gone and you finally admitted you're an asshole for treating me like shit. my life is so much better without you.
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dear D,
i knew from the start things could never happen with us... age difference, commitment issues, being in different places in our lives, etc. all i have to say is our short time was fantastic and the chemistry we had was incredible. i wish we could've really given "us" a try. you are such an amazing person and i hope i will hear from you again one day.
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Dear ex,
Your tiny weiner couldn't fill a cavity in my tooth.
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Hey, I never expect this to happen but i can't really get over it..u ask me to help u by not finding u again and i promise i'll fulfill ur last wish between us..i will go on with my life and wish u n ur fiancee will be happy together forever..i am nobody in ur heart...
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All those years you were their for me to get through the pain and struggles and now you are the cause of it all.
I cant stop blaming myself for this and if i was to say i want you to be happy it would be a lie.
I go good for a few days then all of a sudden il dream about you, wake up thinking everythings ok then realise your not their anymore. You have destroyed me and yet i can not say one bad thing about you. I would do anything to have you back in my life and the hardest part is no matter what i say your not changing your mind. How can you forget about me so quickly and move on and then tell me you still care and love.
I wish i never met you