Showing Emotion and Having Sex

My Boyfriend was explaining to me the other day, that the reason he wants to have sex with me, is because he feels that by having sex, our emotions will be more closer. He will have a better connection to me, and I will be his type of situation. He says a lot of guys can't share their emotions or express them well. So they instead want sex, because having sex is showing that emotion. Does anyone understand what he means here, I sort of understood it but not really. To me, I know I am waiting until marriage, and to me, if you love and care for me so much, why not just wait it out? Why try to pressure me, by saying this stuff, even if it is true about guys and emotions, I don't get it.

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Originally Posted by treehugger101 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My Boyfriend was explaining to me the other day, that the reason he wants to have sex with me, is because he feels that by having sex, our emotions will be more closer. He will have a better connection to me, and I will be his type of situation. He says a lot of guys can't share their emotions or express them well. So they instead want sex, because having sex is showing that emotion. Does anyone understand what he means here, I sort of understood it but not really. To me, I know I am waiting until marriage, and to me, if you love and care for me so much, why not just wait it out? Why try to pressure me, by saying this stuff, even if it is true about guys and emotions, I don't get it.

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Those are the words of a 13 year old boy talking.

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Originally Posted by treehugger101 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

To me, I know I am waiting until marriage, and to me, if you love and care for me so much, why not just wait it out? Why try to pressure me, by saying this stuff, even if it is true about guys and emotions, I don't get it.

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It's always about you isn't it

He doesn't want to wait till marriage. If you loved for him and cared for him, why do you pressure him into waiting for marriage? I thought you wanted to make him happy

I am waiting until marriage because that is my choice. I told him this and the guys I dated before him. They all accepted it and respected it but couldn't wait it out so they left. This guy says he does respect me and wants to wait and is going to wait.

Suuuuuuuuuure he is.

In todays generation, 95% of the relationship do pre-marital sex. I understand you are kinda conservative lady, and a boyfriend like him will never work-out a relationship with no sex. So its either you give up your stand... or... find another boy who can understand you.

Well he does understand me, and he treats me really well and we both respect and trust one another and all is well with us now. It's never been better. :)

I think if you want to wait until marriage then you should stay true to yourself and do what you want with your life regardless of the criticism you get from others.

I think if he loves you then sex will make him feel even closer to you when it happens and it will be a special time for you both.

When you do end up doing it, make sure there is lots of foreplay and some lube to avoid pain and you need to feel comfortable and ready for it

That's great, all is well now. I'm happy for both of you. Stay happy and in love ;)

Well not having sex is bothering him yet again. He says using a vibrator or fingered or whatever is sex. How so?

The word "sex" is an abbreviation for either Sexual Contact or Sexual Intercourse.

What you're talking about doing is sexual contact but not sexual intercourse. Tell him that if you're going to argue definitions that you must both use the correct terms and not confuse the matter with abbreviations.

He was referring to sexual intercourse.

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Originally Posted by treehugger101 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He was referring to sexual intercourse.

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So show him the definition of sexual intercourse. Sheesh - it's not rocket science.

As a guy I can kind of relate, sometimes as much as we do respect your choices, understand that it's kind of built into our animal instincts to want to mate.

He's not childish in saying that sex brings him closer. If he truly means that then he's actually right. Sex creates an emotional connection, it's also a way to show each other that you're comfortable with each other.

Unfortunately because the current generation has portrayed a bad image of what sex is especially in the media, there is a bit of stigmatism towards the act in itself. But there is real emotions involved if the intentions are in fact what he said earlier.

He seems really sexually frustrated. I wonder how long can he hold off before giving up.

Well he did also say he doesn't care anymore if we have sexual intercourse or do not have sexual intercourse. We of course are not going to have sexual intercourse because I am waiting until marriage.

Well, lets see: You're a 13 year old boy so I guess he'll have to wait at least another decade or so before he marries you. :emot180:

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Originally Posted by treehugger101 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well he did also say he doesn't care anymore if we have sexual intercourse or do not have sexual intercourse. We of course are not going to have sexual intercourse because I am waiting until marriage.

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He doesn't care at the moment. But given his history, he will care again in a week or two.

There's nothing wrong with waiting for marriage, people have their own reasons, etc. However if you both disagree with those views then you're maybe not right for each other. He wants sex now, you want to wait. Instead of regretting being pressured into something you don't actually want to do, move on, find someone else who might respect that more.

Kick him to the curb. He's not going to stop pestering you and you're not going to give it up, so this is going nowhere.