Modest Girls

Hi,
please share your definition for MODEST girl, your experience and your opinion.

Do you think that men prefer modest women to the others?
Do you know any examples of how GOOD/BAD a man treated a modest girl?

The idea for this thread came when I read here at the forum that a girl has never had a relationship at the age of 30 (I think).
I respect a lot girls like her. To me this is the (MOST) modest girl. I think she deserves ONLY respect.

What is your opinion?
You can comment here also another questions like : how many dates are needed before making the relationship more intimate?
For how long does the girl need to know the boy before they start the relationship?
I think that the advice will be useful for many people.

What's your definition of modest? The word means difference things to different people

I don't know any modest women. The girls I know all have opinions and will seek what they desire in life.

I dont see anything admirable about spending your whole teenage years nd early adult life alone. Those are the years to make mistakes, to kiss a few frogs, to figure out what you want/dont want in a spose.. Without that knowledge and experience then you are likely to end up with some prick who treats you like dirt and makes you miserable and because you are so vulnerable and naive he will fool you into believing thats normal..

Some men are predators and they feel on women just like you OP who you refer to as modest

The modest girl is the opposite of the easy girl. I am asking about your opinion.
The most modest girls are those who have never had a relatinship.
How many dates before starting to be intimate with a man would make a woman EASY in his eyes (your opinion)?
How many dates (weeks) to wait before starting to be with this guy? Where are the limits between easy and not so easy girls (it is almost impossible to prove someone is modest=except the case when the girl has never had a relationship, this is the only case when she can prove she is VERY MODEST)?

Here there are proves that a girl is VERY modest (to the difference of the proof of love).

And, there are a few modest girls in EUROPE...They are rare but there are. We appreciate moral values here (the lack of some easy behaviour I mean).

How many dates (weeks) before starting to be more intimate with him? How many in order to understand this woman is easy and how many in order for her not to be considered as SO easy?

I want to see your opinion and I hope this discussion will inform girls who are curious to know other people's opinions.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How many dates before starting to be intimate with a man would make a woman EASY in his eyes (your opinion)?

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Every situation is different, there is no black and white answer. If he thinks your easy then that makes him easy too.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How many dates (weeks) to wait before starting to be with this guy? Where are the limits between easy and not so easy girls (it is almost impossible to prove someone is modest=except the case when the girl has never had a relationship, this is the only case when she can prove she is VERY MODEST)?

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Again it depends on the situation or the couple. You could date one guy for a month and realize he is not your type or you dont trust him so never sleep with him and tell him to get lost. You could meet another guy you really like and want a future with and sleep with him within a few weeks.. Why do you need to prove anything? Most man dont care if you have been with a few before him coz he has likely been with a few before you too.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How many dates (weeks) before starting to be more intimate with him? How many in order to understand this woman is easy and how many in order for her not to be considered as SO easy? .

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Again depends on the individual. Some men have issues with women so they think any woman who is stupid enough to sleep with him is a slut. Other men may think nothing of you sleeping with him in the first week. He may just think the chemistry is strong and you click well together. You should just follow your instincts. For me if I trust the guy and can see future potential-I will take things to the next level. If I dont trust him or dont want a relationship with him-I wont.

Ill just add most guys wont think you are a slut unless they hear that you are. If loads of lads are gossiping about you for example and he hears lots of rumors he may think you are not gf material. Nobody wants to be with someone who everyone they know talks about..

The way you use the term modest has many variables. Are you talking about sexual frequency? If so, a woman who has regular sex with one partner might be less modest than a woman who has had sex with 20 guys but only once on each encounter. So, that's 20 times versus 100's of times for the woman in the relationship.

By your definition, anyone who is not a virgin is somewhat immodest. Depending on your age, finding a virgin might be hard. So, maybe you decide to go for the woman who has only had 1-2 partners and is pretty picky with who she dates...even so, she's probably had sex heaps of times.

How long do you wait before you have sex with someone does not define 'modesty' or lack there of either; one of my friends decided to make her boyfriend wait for months before she had sex with him...but she's slept with over 20 men in her lifetime. I guess he must think she's pretty modest and maybe she is (now), but definitely wasn't when we were in our early 20's.

Find someone you like; soon you'll discover what they're all about. The 30 year old modest virgin might be a virgin not through choice but because she's hideous, dull or socially inept. There are women who wait for 'the one' until late in life, though...but again, most people experience relationships before that age.

To summarise; most women aren't sluts. But most women past a certain age aren't virgins either. Just find someone you like.

yep I second that ^^.

I've slept with two guys, been in a relationship for 5 years. My friend has slept with 20-30 guys but I have probably had sex more in the past 6 months than shes had in the past 5 years.

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mod·est
/ˈmädəst/

Adjective

Unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities or achievements.
(of an amount, rate, or level of something) Relatively moderate, limited, or small.

Synonyms
humble - unassuming - unpretentious - lowly - moderate

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You are using the wrong term.

Not all virgin women are modest, and there are non-virgin women who are modest.

The phrase you are looking for is "adult virgin woman".

Virginity has its charm and beauty but discovering love and femininity is the real sublime journey. Purity is a quality of the heart and the heart never ages...

[QUOTE=searock;927925]You are using the wrong term.

1) "Not all virgin women are modest" (I REALLY DO NOT AGREE)
2) " there are non-virgin women who are modest".

Would you be so kind to explain because this is the first time in my life when I hear this (mainly the 1st).

NOT all the girls who have never had a relationship (virgin) are modest???
Here I use modest (obviuosly) not in the general meaning (not wanting too much= being modest in her requirements) but in the more intimate meaning (the others understood). A modest girl according to many people is a girl who have not had MANY relationships (here this number can vary). HOWEVER there is one thing everyone agrees about: if she has never had a relationship THEN SHE IS 100% modest (she can not be more modest than this, I assure you).

So according to you a girl who has never had a relationship can be easy??? This is quite surprising. Please give us more details. What do you mean? (I find this absurd AND I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE, but please explain your point of view.)

And again according to you, a girl who has had relationships may be modest. Please describe your criterias here: what is making one girl modest (NON-virgin one)?
Of course I am not saying that ONLY because a girl is not virgin she is not modest-I ASK ABOUT YOUR OPINION in this situaiton (your criterias, what is making a girl modest when she is not virgin). This is a LOVEFORUM and we all need some advice on different questions and share our opinion. I do not want you to understand me in a wrong way and I REALLY do not want to offend any one (I remind you this is all anonymous).


May be it will be nice to mention if this is a female point of view or a male point of view.

(I repeat, I believe you are the only one in the whole world to say NUM:1)

When I think of modest I think of a girl who dresses appropriately, which is fine, but once in a while it is okay to look your absolute best because the guy you are with will love it if you go out like this.

Another way to look at modest is a girl not acting like she is all that despite being a very attractive and desirable woman. To me, that is such a turn on when a woman knows she is hot but is still friendly and down to earth.

A modest, pure girl is to be admired greatly and respected, and held as an example to others. It's one of the most beautiful qualities.

I think most guys would be afraid his modest pure damzel will never give him a bj, will lay thre like a corpse, be unenthusiastic and not have much interest in sex..

A 30 year old virgin to me is someone who doesnt understand the value of love, intimacy and sex. He would have to teach her what she likes AND what he likes. And if she doesnt know what she likes then its gonna be hard for him to figure out..

Ive nothing against "modesty". Ive only been with two myself but sex is a healthy part of a relationship and i hope you virgins understand that. I also hope you masturbate so you will at least be able to give the guy some guidance coz the female body can be a tricky machine and he WILL need your feedback to grease it up

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Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think most guys would be afraid his modest pure damzel will never give him a bj, will lay thre like a corpse, be unenthusiastic and not have much interest in sex..

A 30 year old virgin to me is someone who doesnt understand the value of love, intimacy and sex. He would have to teach her what she likes AND what he likes. And if she doesnt know what she likes then its gonna be hard for him to figure out..

Ive nothing against "modesty". Ive only been with two myself but sex is a healthy part of a relationship and i hope you virgins understand that. I also hope you masturbate so you will at least be able to give the guy some guidance coz the female body can be a tricky machine and he WILL need your feedback to grease it up

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1) Only a woman can write this.
2) I really read about this age of a girl (in the forum) but I would never tell her what you are writing (and I really hope no one will).
3) Obviously asking about your opinion is not always a good idea. Because when you write things like this, I prefer not to have asked for any opinion.

I hope this girl (or any other virgin girl) will not read what you wrote.

"If a girl is virgin she does not understand the value of love"-this is again sth I never thought I would read.
Yes, she has never been in bed with a man, SO if we say she has NO experience (I CALL HER the most modest possible AND SHE IS ) then SHE HAS NEVER HAD SEX...but this is all. SHE CAN PERFECTLY WELL understand the value of LOVE.
So, when a woman has moral values (virgin), then she does not understand the value of love. (basically what you say).
Let's explain moral values (many girls are not jumping in men's bed as you may suppose): most people (men and other modest girls) consider the fact not to be jumping from bed to bed as sth GOOD for the moral of the girl.
Of course there are women who have had relationships (who may have an opinion similar to yours) even though most of them would rather not say it this way. They may say it that she needs experience but well, of course it is her decision.
Please do not mix sex and love (as men do): you can love someone without being intimate with him and you can have sex with someone without being in love with him. (you= a woman in general)
You can also love someone and have sex with him (but we still have sex and love separately).

If I follow your logic, it will lead us to the following: a girl who is virgin does not understand the value of love, therefore how can she be in love? In other words, virgin girls are not in love (can not be).
On the opposite, the women with many relationships (who has understood the value of love for long time) are understanding the value of love EXTREMELY well (based on their experience).
Let's ask then a "PAID professionalist-pr******te" about the value of love (If you understand what I mean).

Let's not mix experience in sex with the love (as a feeling, felt in the heart). Everyone can fall in love (from virgins to experienced women-EVERYONE). Sex experience is sth else (it is up to every woman to decide this).

Love is dificult to prove but many people (incl. me) agree that if a woman has not had relationships (at 27 for example, it can be 23 or another age) then she is THE MOST MODEST POSSIBLE. Then men/women no one will tell her : "you may not understand the value of love" they will rather show their respect because nowadays most women are with A LOT OF EXPERIENCE and no one values this (the fact that they have a lot of experience).

My opinion: it would be great if there are more girls who are "modest" (the most modest).

I think you need professional help.

OP, if you're expecting women in their latter 20s and 30s to be virgins, good luck to you. We're social beings; people want to experience relationships, it's in our nature and it's normal.

There are women who jump from guy to guy, sleep with randoms and are overall very relaxed with their sexual behavior; I wouldn't like that in a guy so I'm not surprised guys might not like that in a woman. But there's a big difference between that and having zero experience.

Sexually speaking, some women have boundaries (there are some things I'll never do for any guy, whether he's my boyfriend or husband) whilst others have none.

[QUOTE=TablesandChairs;928246]OP, if you're expecting women in their latter 20s and 30s to be virgins, good luck to you.

I am not expecting. The virgins are rare, this is what I say.

Having had sex or not having had sex doesn't make a person any better or worse. It's just completely uncorrelated.

You sound completely obsessed with virgins it's actually kind disturbing. You sound like a jihadi ready to 'wipe the IMMODEST western sluts from the earth' or something!!

I knew an absolutely stunning 22year old virgin girl. There was nothing modest about her, she knew how good she was. She used her eyes really well, she could dance like Shakira and she would suck fingers, kiss passionately in public. It was like 2weeks of foreplay and she was amazing!
Anyway I'm getting distracted!
I miss her :)

As a general rule I'd say a 30 year old virgin woman is probably so frigid she's not worth the time or just incredibly ugly!

Virginity at that age is probably not a choice. Sex is a basic instinct and even priests and nuns struggle or fail to contain it.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

"If a girl is virgin she does not understand the value of love"-this is again sth I never thought I would read.
Yes, she has never been in bed with a man, SO if we say she has NO experience (I CALL HER the most modest possible AND SHE IS ) then SHE HAS NEVER HAD SEX...but this is all. SHE CAN PERFECTLY WELL understand the value of LOVE.

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Most people who have never been in love, never had a relationship daydream about films like twilight thinking that they are real and that is how love should be. A real relationship is the OPPOSITE of that. You have to be in one to understand that. Love is not a walk in the park, its not all flowers and roses, it has its ups and downs like everything else.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So, when a woman has moral values (virgin), then she does not understand the value of love. (basically what you say).
Let's explain moral values (many girls are not jumping in men's bed as you may suppose): most people (men and other modest girls) consider the fact not to be jumping from bed to bed as sth GOOD for the moral of the girl.

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When did I say anyone should hop from bed to bed? I didn't.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If I follow your logic, it will lead us to the following: a girl who is virgin does not understand the value of love, therefore how can she be in love? In other words, virgin girls are not in love (can not be).
On the opposite, the women with many relationships (who has understood the value of love for long time) are understanding the value of love EXTREMELY well (based on their experience).

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I didnt say any of that either. If shes never had a real relationship-how can she know what love is like? She cant. Again it is just a daydream in her head based on infatuation from watching stupid Disney films.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Let's not mix experience in sex with the love (as a feeling, felt in the heart). Everyone can fall in love (from virgins to experienced women-EVERYONE). Sex experience is sth else (it is up to every woman to decide this).

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Only a minority of people separate sex and love. Many believe sex is an emotional thing which is part of the falling in love process and I have scientific evidence to back this up. Yes you can love someone without having sex with them. Can you truly fall in love properly without sex? I dont think so

Can you truly fall in love properly without sex? I dont think so.


Yes, you can. I am on a different opinion.

I do not agree with most of your comments which are obviously of people who do not share my opinions/values.
There is nothing wrong to have a different opinion.

I see from your (UNKIND) comments that apparently I will not have the answers I was trying to find.
MY questions in the begining were: how many relationships would make a woman easy?
How long would a woman wait before starting to be more intimate?

There is no need to answer any more. I do not think you are the right people to ask and there is sth negative in most of your answers.

Ok, I see your opinion. I DO NOT AGREE. People have different mentality.

The worst I read about sth like: IT IS NOT WORTH EVEN TO WASTE TIME ON A GIRL (who has never had a relationship). My advice for this person is: do as you wish but may be there is no need to be so offensive in this forum.
Many people did not comment. It is their right.

So, after understanding that not only you avoid answering to some questions but you even disrespect a special kind of women (which I called modest) I do not find any interest to lead a discussion.

In general I respect people's opinions, but you can say it more politely.

The way you answered to my questions, looks like if it is personal (against me). I remind you that you do not know me (at least you should not).
Either give advice (politely) or abstain.

I did not use the word "SLUT" I only asked what is the criteria and no one told me his/her criterias.
I also asked about your opinion concerning "sex at the first date +saying she is modest".
This is a love forum, so everyone can ask for advice. Instead of advice you experessed clearly that you have sth AGAINST ME (personally). It is obvious that you have sth against the group of "modest" women as I call them.

No one is obliged to answer.
Even, I think it is better to make end to the discussions. I do not want answers from you anymore.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

how many relationships would make a woman easy?

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The number of sexual encounters with different people have nothing to do with how "easy" a person (male or female) is. What exactly do you mean by "easy"? For me it means someone who will sleep with someone even if it means going against their own moral standards, and who judge negatively other people for doing the same exact thing. It's basically being a hypocrite.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being promiscuous.

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How long would a woman wait before starting to be more intimate?

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It obviously depends on the woman.

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Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The number of sexual encounters with different people have nothing to do with how "easy" a person (male or female) is.
What exactly do you mean by "easy"?
For me it means someone who will sleep with someone even if it means going against their own moral standards, and who judge negatively other people for doing the same exact thing. It's basically being a hypocrite.

There's nothing inherently wrong with being promiscuous.

It obviously depends on the woman.

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I will copy and paste you here the question and the answer (from yahoo answers):
"What is the definition of "easy girl"?"
"slutty girl that is easy to get into bed."

In short: according to this person a girl is "easy"when it is easy to access to her bed.
I checked a few websites, this is the most commonly accepted definition.

Do you have another definition?

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

from yahoo answers

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:emot15:

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"What is the definition of "easy girl"?"
"slutty girl that is easy to get into bed."

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Wow, hard to find something more sexist. Like you need to "get" a girl into bed. A girl is very much able to get into bed herself, without anyone "getting" her there. Jeez, disgusting!

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Do you have another definition?

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Lol, I just told you my definition in my previous post.

I repeat: being promiscuous is not wrong per se.

You may not want to be with a girl that is promiscuous according to your personal standards, this is legitimate (I wouldn't want to be with a guy that is promiscuous according to my standards either). But it's a very different thing from believing that people that are promiscuous according to your standards are somehow "worse" people than people who are not promiscuous according to your standards.

Wow, hard to find something more sexist. Like you need to "get" a girl into bed. A girl is very much able to get into bed herself, without anyone "getting" her there.

I think you understand the idea (getting into bed is just an expression).
The title of the thread is Modest Girls. Do you think that one woman can be promiscuous and modest in the same time? Yes? No? Why?

I do not discuss if a woman is good, bad, worse according to her relationships (this is not the question here).
I did not mention my standards, I asked about your standards/criterias/opinions.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wow, hard to find something more sexist. Like you need to "get" a girl into bed. A girl is very much able to get into bed herself, without anyone "getting" her there.

I think you understand the idea (getting into bed is just an expression).
The title of the thread is Modest Girls. Do you think that one woman can be promiscuous and modest in the same time? Yes? No? Why?

I do not discuss if a woman is good, bad, worse according to her relationships (this is not the question here).
I did not mention my standards, I asked about your standards/criterias/opinions.

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LOL...it's funny watching them grasping for straws. No use trying to explain it to them, romantic-88. It's like trying to explain a computer to a chicken.

Searock, michelled and others....you can laugh at an incoming train all you want....in the end it will crush you.....such is truth.

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Originally Posted by romantic-88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The title of the thread is Modest Girls. Do you think that one woman can be promiscuous and modest in the same time?

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Yes, of course! Being modest means not showing off, not thinking you're better than other people, not being obnoxious, etc... It also means being discrete and not dressing/acting vulgarly. A person who enjoys having sex with more than one person can definitely be all those things. Same way that a person who hasn't ever had sex can be the opposite of those things.

As I said, having or not having had sex gives no information on the character of a person.

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I do not discuss if a woman is good, bad, worse according to her relationships

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You did imply it though.

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I did not mention my standards, I asked about your standards/criterias/opinions.

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I just wanted to make it perfectly clear that every person has different standards.

OP go and get some therapy. Your obsession with purity is not healthy. You look down your nose at anyone who has had sex. I love my bf, have been sleeping with him for 5 years. Does that make me a slut or easy? Does that mean I am not modest? Go and get some help