What DOES make a good boyfriend?

Clearly I'm not good enough and too screwed up to even have a relationship. I really want a relationship though, I've always wanted to be a father and a husband but I guess the term "unconditional" doesn't exist.

What makes a great partner?
I don't mean to be such a burden on everybody for my posts, I just want what everyone else wants which I never had. I don't want to be a robot though.

Sometimes, I ask myself what Love even is even though I already know.

I guess love is just something that exists but I'll never have. That's the real answer.

I quit. I give up.

Thank you all anyway for responding, even if it's aiming to insult me. Happy late easter.

Did you investigate that link I gave you yesterday, Andrew?

Andrew, are you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? Are you on meds? The first thing you need to do is get yourself emotionally stable

This is a very personal question, meaning there is no "right" answer across the board for everyone. What is desirable in a mate for one, may not be for another.

I feel like someone should love you for who you are. As long as both partners are loyal,trustworthy and honest to each other then there is no need to live up to someone else standards. You will find the right person who thinks you are right for them.

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Did you investigate that link I gave you yesterday, Andrew?

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Which link? The NHS suicide one?

So my depression is the biggest topic of the month? Wow, I must be special for people to take their time to talk about and humiliate publicly online about a serious illness which many people die from each day because they feel hopeless. Your parents must be so proud of you for mocking a psychological illness that ruins people's lives. Maybe the reason I feel depressed is because people always treat me like trash. Didn't that answer ever crossed your mind?

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Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Andrew, are you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? Are you on meds? The first thing you need to do is get yourself emotionally stable

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I've been on medications since I was 18.
Valium, respidone (not sure if I spelt that right), Lustral/Sertraline, Larazepam (similar to diazepam/valium) and codeine.

As Opra Winfrey says "There is no Get Well Soon cards for mental illness."

What is causing your depression? I honestly think all that medication is useless unless your also dealing with the root cause of the illness and talking it all through with a counsellor. My grandmother has bipolar disorder. Shes on medication but she also sees a psychiatrist. It used to be regularly but now she can usually manage the illness so only needs to see her every 6months. She also has a lot of support from family, friends and our family doctor. Shes been working the past 4years too which helps a lot as shes made a lot of new friends and really enjoys her work

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Originally Posted by I am Andrew [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Which link? The NHS suicide one?

So my depression is the biggest topic of the month? Wow, I must be special for people to take their time to talk about and humiliate publicly online about a serious illness which many people die from each day because they feel hopeless. Your parents must be so proud of you for mocking a psychological illness that ruins people's lives. Maybe the reason I feel depressed is because people always treat me like trash. Didn't that answer ever crossed your mind?

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Darling... no one is "mocking" you. Now, This is mocking: Add "paranoid delusion" to your list of ailments.

Back to being helpful :D

The link will lead you to an online councelor who will help you with your destructive thoughts. They will also be able to guide you to other places and people that will get you on the right track.

So... did you read the link?

Andrew, having only read your original post in this thread, I can empathize how it feels.. I've been there. :S So, you're not alone, and by no means are you a burden to anybody. I hope you can believe me on that one.

As for a partner, this question has no one right answer. What someone might feel is a great partner is, to someone else, a terrible partner. Take my former Women in Literature Professor for example...Her husband farts on her in public to make her laugh. Sometimes, he'll try to fart in her face. Now, there are a number of people, myself included, who think "'What the hell? That's weird." But it works for them.. It's something shared between them that they can laugh about.

However, if you're asking me how to be a good partner, the answer is simple. Respect yourself, and be considerate of the other person. Operate within your comfort zone, and don't modify the boundaries of that comfort zone for someone else. When someone is walking all over you, don't be afraid to directly communicate with them and say, "When you do (insert action here), I feel (insert feeling here).." Stand up for yourself, and show yourself some credit.. Know that you're a good person. Recognize your strengths- not just your weaknesses.

Going along with that, just be yourself and be honest. If you're looking for a relationship with a woman, tell her that's your ultimate goal no matter if it works out with her or not. Why? Because no one can fault you for how you feel or for being true to yourself. Only when you can be true to yourself and respect yourself and your happiness can you focus on trying to make someone else happy.

Best of luck.

I know Wakeup can look after herself.....but I was appalled at your response to her.

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Originally Posted by I am Andrew [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I've been on medications since I was 18.
Valium, respidone (not sure if I spelt that right), Lustral/Sertraline, Larazepam (similar to diazepam/valium) and codeine.

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It's risperidone. My son takes it too.

Good to know you're being proactive. However, the medical advice you're being given so far doesn't seem to be right for you, does it. Does your psychiatrist know it's not working for you? Have you sought a second opinion? Are you being given strategies to help you learn to regulate your behaviour and emotions?

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Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I know Wakeup can look after herself.....but I was appalled at your response to her.

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Well, I'm not exactly liked on this site. Every time I made a post in the past, I was just humiliated and judged, even the mods never believed my words.

Everyone in my life just talks to me like trash so I automatically react hostile towards them because I have trust issues.

I dunno what the heck I did to everyone to get treated like s**t but I'm sick of it.

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Originally Posted by I am Andrew [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I dunno what the heck I did to everyone to get treated like s**t but I'm sick of it.

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Oh, buddy, you wonder why you don't have a partner? Yikes... >.>

(Sorry, Wakeup- didn't read anything other than his first post before. My bad :S)

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Originally Posted by I am Andrew [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, I'm not exactly liked on this site. Every time I made a post in the past, I was just humiliated and judged, even the mods never believed my words.

Everyone in my life just talks to me like trash so I automatically react hostile towards them because I have trust issues.

I dunno what the heck I did to everyone to get treated like s**t but I'm sick of it.

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So instead of owning your own behaviour towards Wakeup, you're trying to justify it. If you do this in real life, it's exactly the type of behaviour which makes you lose friends.

It would also seem to me that you'd rather complain about your lot than respond to the questions and links being given by those who are trying to help.

I honestly give up.

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Originally Posted by I am Andrew [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I honestly give up.

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Mate, if you can't accept the truth, you'll get nowhere in recovery. Like it or not, your attitude is most likely contributing to the fact you've got no one to turn to.

Look, everyone has there issues and no one is perfect. That goes for you andrew, and that goes for any partner you may have. I think it may be true that you have to get yourself to a point where you love yourself before you can love someone else, but at the same time, like I said, no one is perfect.

My first piece of advice.. calm down. Don't let some of these people get to you. Anyone can say anything on the internet.

Now, you asked what makes the perfect boyfriend, and to be honest I don't know. Apparently I'm not one... but your post tends to go in a different direction somewhat... You have to understand that if a relationship ends, it doesn't necessarily mean it's your fault. It would be wise to see what you could have done better, and maybe use it to fix your current relationship, or use it to make a new one work better. But you have to really sit down with yourself and think... what parts were my fault and what parts were my partners fault? Maybe it was all your fault. Maybe it was all her fault. Maybe (probably) a mixture of both. You just have to figure out the problem and deal with it by learning from it, fixing it etc.

Hey good luck Andrew. I wish you the best :)

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Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Like it or not, your attitude is most likely contributing to the fact you've got no one to turn to.

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Of course not, my family have completely disowned me and neglect me.
2 of my dearest friends are both dead, only 1 exists and he's like miles and miles away from me.
No one will ever talk to me because I'm "too nice" or "too friendly", it makes them nervous or pushes them away and it makes me feel insecure about myself and it brings my self-esteem down.

All my life I've been through abuse, mentally and physically!

Mate, you need professional help.

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Originally Posted by I am Andrew [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Of course not, my family have completely disowned me and neglect me.
2 of my dearest friends are both dead, only 1 exists and he's like miles and miles away from me.
No one will ever talk to me because I'm "too nice" or "too friendly", it makes them nervous or pushes them away and it makes me feel insecure about myself and it brings my self-esteem down.

All my life I've been through abuse, mentally and physically!

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None of this negates the fact that your attitude is what turns new people away. Your history is none of their concern - a new person is only interested in how well you treat them....and how well balanced you are.

And I note that you still haven't apologised to Wakeup. Mate, if you're this rude to people who are trying to be nice to you, you're going to be lonely for a long time

Well, I'm sorry everyone that I'm a shallow, insecure, hostile prick.

Really, I mean it and I ain't being sarcastic. I am truly sorry. :(

I'm very ****ed up in the head.

I give up. I give up with love and I give up with life. It hurts too much.

Goodbye and thank you all for whatever you say that you feel is helpful, I do appreciate it, I just sometimes take things the wrong way.

I will no longer be a problem on this site.