Proposing without a ring

I have been with my girlfriend for about 2.5 years now. We are really happy together and have been living together for about 6 months. I know she's the one for me. I want to propose to her at the start of next year.

We'll be going abroad for the first time together to a very romantic place in a few months. I have been biding my time to find the right moment to do it, and the photos I have seen of the area are too perfect to pass up. So I am keen to propose then and there.

The problem is that I don't have a ring. I really want to go out and spend ungodly amounts of money on a ring for her, but I am also a really practical person and the idea of spending all that money on an engagement ring when it could be used for our future is scary. My girlfriend also suggested that she is more interested in putting our money toward out future than by wasting it on a ring. We would like to start a family within the next 2 years.

So, here's my idea. I will take her to a nice secluded spot on the beach, get down on one knee and tell her how much I love her and ask her to marry me, then, once we get back, we can look for a ring together. Does this sound like a good plan?

Yeah, great plan.

If she loves you the plan is great. The ring won't matter, especially if she agrees the money is better put towards a future.

I've changed my mind, I dont like this plan one bit.

I hope my girlfriend doesn't change her mind like you, luvcoq. :)

I know this isn't a big deal, but should I at least give her something? I mean, like a placeholder ring, or do you think my original idea is better? I kind of imagine myself on my knee feeling awkward without holding something, like Jack Donaghy been filmed :french:

I think you should buy her a ring that isn't too expensive but still looks pretty and like you thought of her while choosing it (for example if she likes a certain jem stone you can try getting a ring with that stone on it, even if a small one). She'll appreciate the gesture and the proposal will seem more "serious", and she'll also appreciate the fact that you didn't spend a lot of money on it, since you both prefer to save it to spend for your future together.

There's nothing wrong with that plan at all - she's even said that she would rather spend the money on investing in your future. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

As Cerby says, the ring isn't important. What it symbolizes is.

I don't think it matters what she "said" the ring is a circle to represent unbroken or.. never ending love. I agree with Sea in that you should get her an inexpensive ring. If you're going to propose in a traditional manner, then you should have the ring that goes along with the tradition. No need to spend "an ungodly amount of money."

If she's told you outright NOT to get her a ring. Like: "Do Not buy me a ring I think that practice is ridiculous" then I'd be more inclined to believe that she really doesn't want one rather than my current vibe that she just said that because she thought that's what you wanted to hear.

If you really believed she didn't want one, then you wouldn't have started this thread, would you?

Don't buy her a ring. Then if she turns you down you've not wasted any money.

... if in the remote chance that happens, he can return the ring and get his money back. Just make sure you know the store return policy before purchasing, Op.

Note to all men! If a women expects you to buy a ring beyond what is realistic.....run. My newphew is 25 and just bought a $10k ring with the girl knowing damn well what he makes and how much THEY owe now....and they're not even married. So sad

Your nephew is clearly a tit. And she's a dimwitted gold digger.

List the ring as a joint investment in their insurance policy rather than a "gift" to her. Then, if anything happens to their union.. she'll have to sell it and he'll get half of his money back at least gold and diamonds normally increase in value. Spending $10,000 for a ring is an outrageously stupid thing to have done. IMO.

if u want to buy a engagement ring it doesnt have to be expensive. at least not a fair ring .lol

and its more nice if u buy it and give it to her. so it can be really something yours to her.

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Originally Posted by Boisdevie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Your nephew is clearly a tit. And she's a dimwitted gold digger.

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Exactly my point

It is not about the material things. It is how much thought you put into the proposal and if you have consulted her thoughts on it. If she told you specially, she doesn't want an engagement ring (in those exact words), then don't buy her one. If she didn't say that, then she probably meant she doesn't want too much money spent on it then get her one that is not too expensive but something you put thought into selecting. Make sure the proposal is well thought out so it shows you are serious about her.

These are all really useful posts. I left out a vital piece of information in my original post though, which is my fault as the window timed out and I didn't check it thoroughly enough before I re-wrote and posted it. My GF is Asian, and I live in Asia, so in her culture engagement rings are not expected. Here wedding rings are far more significant, but even then many people don't actually wear their wedding rings, but have them safely kept at home.

The question is do I embrace my culture and get her a nice engagement ring, or should I go with my original plan? Just to clarify though, people do give engagement rings but it's not expected.

Although she has said if i buy her a ring she doesn't want it to be expensive, she didn't actually say that she doesn't want a ring.

You already have discussed this with her so I really don't understand why you are even bothering to ask a bunch of strangers on the Internet.... just propose to her, and then go together to pick out a ring she would like. A friend of mine was proposed to while sitting on the couch watching TV. Her old man just said "Well what do you think about us getting married?" LOL. Some women just want to hear you pop the question and don't care about the fanfair that goes with it.

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Originally Posted by DreamBeans [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Although she has said if i buy her a ring she doesn't want it to be expensive, she didn't actually say that she doesn't want a ring.[/

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Well, there ya go then. She's given you your answer.

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Originally Posted by DreamBeans [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Does this sound like a good plan?

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Tough situation. I would say buy the ring anyway. Nothing expensive, just something that is at least decent. If you propose without a ring it won't be as memorable. If you are afraid of buying something she doesn't like then take her to look at rings and get her opinion of them. Do not buy one when she is there though, just look at them with her and come back later to pick one up that you noticed she wanted. You can't be so direct about asking her about this crap though, she wants a surprise bro.

Thank you everyone for the advice. I tried to get her ring information size without making it too obvious, but seeing as she doesn't wear rings and the only ones she has aren't for her ring finger, I had to just ask her and she doesn't know! So we are going to go to a few jewelry stores this weekend to check out some rings and to get her finger sized. Although it's going to take the surprise out of it, at least I won't have to worry about getting one that's too small or one she doesn't like.

Here's another quick question for people out there who have gone ring shopping with their partner before marriage. How do you do it without the staff coming on too strong? Especially if I am there with my GF?

LOL! Dude if the ring doesn't fit the jeweler can resize it afterwards.



As for shopping for a ring, a good jeweler will ask you your price range and what style before you even start looking. If the sales people are too aggressive you are at a shitty jeweler, you just leave. Even at a high end stores they do sell inexpensive rings so don't be intimidated going there.

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Originally Posted by DreamBeans [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Although it's going to take the surprise out of it

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What I ment by surprise is the moment you choose to propose to her and your timing from which what you have already told us sounds perfect. Getting the ring and all of that when you cannot even get her finger size... try asking her mother or best friend. If this doesn't work then you are forced to get her finger sized.

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

LOL! Dude if the ring doesn't fit the jeweler can resize it afterwards.

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This is costly and annoying. I strongly suggest getting the right size since you don't want to give her a ring she cannot even fit onto her finger.

(Sorry for double post)

I think your engagement ring is doesn't have to be expensive, right lolz. sorry i just kidding but its more nice if u buy a ring for her .

i think that's very wise of both of you.

Good luck and have fun.

Yes it is. If the last post is over 2 to 3 weeks old don't bother. This one is like 6 months old.

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes it is. If the last post is over 2 to 3 weeks old don't bother. This one is like 6 months old.

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I hope the thread doesn't get closed though - sometimes the OPs return to give updates...

Yes that is what we have been waiting for...

Hi Everyone. I thought I would give you an update on how it went.

First, thank you all for your advice. I read and considered everything you said. In the end I decided that I would rather focus on surprising her than the ring. My opinion is that I could always buy a nicer ring but the opportunity and surprise would be once in a lifetime. So, I bought a nice, placeholder ring. We didn't end up getting her finger sized, and by doing so I threw off the scent of what was going to happen as she thought I had given up on the idea because I stopped asking.

So on Dec 31st, just after midnight, when the sky was covered in fireworks, we were standing on the hotel balcony, which overlooked the whole town below, watching the sky catch on fire (I have never seen that many fireworks in my life) and I got down on my knee and proposed. She said YES! I was so excited. It was perfect.

Now, we are going to get her ring sized and I am going to buy her a ring. I am still deciding whether I want her to choose with me or for me to choose for her. They both have their pros and cons. If she comes with me I know she will buy a ring that she loves, so I don't have to worry about making a mess of it, but it will take a lot of the personal feeling of buying her something special away. Anyway, now I am trying to decide how much to spend on an engagement ring when after talking we will most likely actually get married in less than 6 months, but that's another question for another thread. Thanks again, everyone!

Congratz :)

Argos it.


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Originally Posted by DreamBeans [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My girlfriend also suggested that she is more interested in putting our money toward out future than by wasting it on a ring. We would like to start a family within the next 2 years.

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I think proposing without a ring is fine. But admit it, any girl would love to have an engagement ring no matter how they claim that it is not important. I'm sure you can find a nice affordable ring at your local jewelry shop. But if you still are hesitant to spend on the ring, its still fine to do as you planned.

This thread is old, the engagement is done and over with. Please check date of thread. If it is over 3 weeks old, don't bother posting, they usually are long gone.

What a great plan, Amazing. But that time you can give her a beautiful rose. A red rose is also can explain your love. Then you should go. Wishing the best of luck.

I'm just still coming to terms with the bit when he said he was going to get his girlfriends ring sized. Sound pervy.

^^ lol ^^

okay, thanks for that visual I'm unable to get outta my brain.