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Sometimes, I wonder how it feels like to be a man.
Is sex constantly on your mind?
Do you feel pressured to do well in life, to make money, etc because you feel like the world and/or women judge your worth by that?
How does it feel like to be inside a woman?
Please share.
Yes
Yes
Good
Jeez.... I'm such a weirdo. LOL! Not that I'm just realizing that now. I knew that already. But, damn! :D
Because, no, sex is not constantly on my mind. ...But I do think that puts me in the very small minority amongst my fellow men.
Do I feel pressured to succeed and make a lot of money, etc, because maybe the world/women will judge me based on that? ...Again.... nope. Sure, I'd love to be rich... but all I really want out of life as it relates to wealth is to have enough money to survive (and support a family if I ever had one) with enough left over to both save up money and also get to enjoy that money now and then. As in to be able to buy myself stuff when I want it, or to be able to afford things when I need it (like a new car).
...But, again, I think that puts me in the minority amongst my fellow men.
How does it feel to be inside a woman? ...I mean... I don't know what else to add. I think Hooo's "good" covered it just fine. LOL!
These weird questions with predictable obvious answers. Hooo! pointed it out right.
1. No, it actually isn't. For some men it is. But sex is actually less of a priority in my life. I think a lot more about goals, other random things, and actually even when thinking about women, I think about them more in other ways. Like past people I dated, I tend to think more about moments filled with laughing and having fun, though sex can fall in that category there's so many other times besides that. Even in regards to sex in relationships, it's really only a small part if it.
2. Pressured to make a large sum of money? No. Pressure to be successful in my own manner, yes. I do feel pressured to have my goals being always in the process of being achieved. I went through a career fallback for a while that left me unemployed, having to move back in with my parents and I quit working out for a good amount of time, that was rough. I did feel like I was falling behind and like I was less than other people. I dated for a while at that time, but I had a harder time enjoying it because I was a more concentrated and stressed about my career and living situation.
I think women want a man that has goals and has at least some moderate successful or proof that he's working towards them. If a woman refuses to date someone that makes less than 100k, I wouldn't be interested in dating her anyways. Making a certain threshold of money is good, because it allows you to use money for things other than bills, but I have no desire to ever put in more than 40 hours a week. My life is more than a 9-5.
It feels great. In my opinion, more so when it's with someone you truly love in all ways. It's basically the highest form of intimacy you can achieve with a woman, and it feels great that she's willing to share that with you. Having sex with a woman I'm not head over heels for is something I avoid. It just doesn't feel right and pales in comparison. As awful as it sounds, I heard a guy compare that once to just being "glorified masturbation" and I feel like that's accurate.
Overall. It's good to be a man.
It's funny, I hear an unsuccessful man complain that women just have it so much easier, especially with dating but i think thats not true. There's a much larger portion of guys that just dont get it, have poor communication skills and worse intellectual/emotional intelligence than women. In my opinion at least.
I have been told the urge is like a freight train, and they think about it at least every 15 mins. It tapers off as they get older when the T runs down a bit. They want to have sex with everything in sight lol. getting off is almost guaranteed. Good yes unless she feels like the Grand Canyon. Sex is like pizza...even when it's bad it's still good.
You're probably isn't a weirdo. Maybe men like to make it seem like to other men that they are hyper sexual.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEvilJester [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
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Oh wow. what a term! So, its kind of just going with the motion without really being into it? Kind of like being with a person who you are not attracted to at the slightest?Quote:
Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
And do men think women having sex with them means she really like/love him? As if its a kind of currency? indication of commitment to him? I have also heard some guys feel unmanly or not masculine if they don't get to have sex with their girlfriends. Any thoughts?
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That would be someone with a hyper sex drive, I'm guessing, which isn't every guy on the planet. That is the stereotype though.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Pretty much, women can do it too of course. Having sex obviously doesnt have to equal being completely in love. I just think it's much better when you are, or feel like you will be with the person. Sex is such a small part of life in my eyes. You can find someone attractive, but not have those strong feelings for them where you feel that they're truly special to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Possibly, like I said, women can have sex with someone they aren't truly in love with, but it does prove that she's willing to be vulnerable with you. So it's obviously a very good sign. Most women, can get sex whenever they want, I mean, a woman can just go to a bar or sign up for a dating site and have a hundred dicks getting thrown her way.
I don't think it's currency. Maybe to some extent, a successful man is viewed as a man who gets a lot of women in the masculine culture, or that's what some men like to think. But to me, it's more about the relationship that it goes with. Quality relationships are key in my eyes.
If you don't get to have sex with your girlfriend, I'd question the grounds of the relationship. Is something wrong? Would be my first question. It's a normal part of adult relationships. I think men would feel less manly because theyd feel as if theyre failing at their relationship, and that the lack of any sex is a clear sign of that.
Is sex constantly on your mind?
It is, but not in the way you think. It's the subject of sex that is constantly on my mind, because I hate how sexual this world is.
I think sex is inappropriate in every way. I understand the temptation, but there is just something extremely inappropriate about the act of putting your genitals together. I've been struggling for years to try to bear with this world that we live in, and I think that sex is extremely overrated. I always lose interest in people when they talk about it, or try to make a big deal out of something, that really is just meant for the act of reproduction. There is nothing I hate more, than the hearing about the subject of sex, ESPECIALLY when people refer to it as "love making", and call it an "important part of a relationship". If there is anything I would never do with a person I love, then it would be to have sex with that person. I would feel like I'd just use their body to masturbate with, and the guilt would be unbearable. I would feel like I just downgraded that person to be my sex toy, instead of a person I love, and I would feel like they did the same to me. It's a big nope, and I would never have sex with someone I love, unless I am doing it for the purpose of reproducing. Someone you love should never be your source of masturbation.
So all in all, I think intimacy is very important in a relationship. Personally, I LOVE to roll around in bed, making out, kissing non-stop, holding hands, spooning, and such. That's what I call "making love". But I would never use the body of a person I love to masturbate with. Love making shouldn't involve your genitals.
Do you feel pressured to do well in life, to make money, etc because you feel like the world and/or women judge your worth by that?
No I don't. And what's with "women"? Isn't it supposed to be "the woman"? If you mean in a relationship context, whatever all the other girls/women think about me wouldn't matter, the same way it would matter if it was my girlfriend. Love is not about money either. Love is about emotions. So even if I had nothing, it shouldn't matter in a relationship.
How does it feel like to be inside a woman?
Believe it or not, I am curious about that too. But in all seriousness, it's not important for me to know. It probably feels pretty good. But it wouldn't change the fact, that I think of such acts as inappropriate. A lot of people criticize me by saying I never had the experience, so how can I stay here and say that sex is wrong? They think I am against sex, because I am fantasizing about not enjoying it myself. But to be honest, I am very sure that if I had sex, I would enjoy it very much. WHILE doing it. But afterwards I would feel so much guilt and disgust. I am saying what I say, because it's not about having the experience. It's about using your logic to see for yourself, that the act of messing around with your genitals just isn't right - especially when you already are aware that sex is meant for reproduction, and not for the so called "love making". - and whether or not it feels good, is not relevant.
I know I am in a minority, but that doesn't make me think otherwise. If everyone in this world gave it a try to separate sex from love completely, I am very sure, that true love would be found all around the world - and that people would finally start to actually love each other. But nowadays, people are just addicted to sex, and they can't help themselves. I mean, I understand that if you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, there really isn't any other opportunity to have sex. But to be honest, if you TRULY love someone, then you wouldn't make them your source of masturbation. You would know how to separate your sex-life from your love-life. It's something people need to consider.
If I choose not to have sex with you, as my girlfriend, then that's a commitment to you. And you should appreciate it, and feel valued/loved because of that, rather than the opposite. That's my way of saying that I love you too much to think of you as a body I can f*ck. ...A source of masturbation...
JUST LET THIS SINK IN
Hey that is what was described to me by different kinds of men...blue balls, wanking off at least twice a day, etc....but of course I'm assuming the OP is referring to teenage or younger men, that's why I put in there as the T wears down with age so do the urges.
At what age do you think it starts dwindling?Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Your testosterone starts going down after 25 I believe, but men also have different testosterone levels, so it's all different.Quote:
Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Plus, a lot of it has to do with maturity. You can have high testosterone, without acting like a horny 13 year old or thinking that sex is the most important thing in life. Lol.
At 20 years testerstorone is highest but people have more sex at 30 years cause theres more expereience at that age. At 30 some already are impotent because of drinking and smoking. Stress also can affect one in a way that it will shrink and never get up again.
Wow! Just wow! I don't feel quite so alone! Gosh, that all sounds like me so much I would swear they were my own words. LOL! ...GLYC are you secretly me in a mask? You'd think I'd know if you were... but, I dunno. I'm pretty weird as it is. LOL!Quote:
Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sex is great and all, but to me it just isn't the end-all be-all. When I'm in a relationship with somebody, I am so much more in love with the moments we share together. With holding each other, with being there for each other, with sharing memories and wonderful times. Heck, when I have a crush on somebody I don't think of us having sex. I think of what it would be like to spend time together. Of laughing together. Of doing something fun together. Kissing, cuddling, holding hands, maybe... but sex never enters my mind because to me that is more an extension of the loving relationship. I don't see it being the most important thing in a relationship. It's just part of the puzzle.
[MENTION=87469]Zachi[/MENTION]
I've said this before... but I must admit I do agree with a lot of what you said here. I may not agree 100%. I don't think very many people are going to buy into the idea that a loving relationship should not involve sex at all. (Referring to romantic relationships only, obviously.) But, I do 100% agree with the attitude and reasoning behind why you feel that way. Because I 100% agree that people put way too much importance in sex these days. It seems I'm VASTLY in the minority with that mind-set, but that is truly how I feel. Me personally, If I were given the option to either:
A) Get to have sex every time I want it for the rest of my life, but always with different women and thereby it never involves actual love
or
B) I get to spend the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams, we are both madly in love together, we remain faithful to only each other... but sex isn't involved, for whatever reason.
I wouldn't even have to think about it. I'd take option B without even a thought. Again, probably puts me in the vast minority in this day and age. May even be a large factor in why the whole thing seems so puzzling and hopeless to me. But, when it comes down to it, I don't care. I'd rather be true to who I am and learn to be happy with who I am than to compromise that and not be the real me just to fit in with society.
Agree This is how I am.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooo! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
[MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] - You are a good person. But I just wish you'd go further and agree with me 100%. Maybe you should try being in a relationship, where you don't have sex at all for let's say 3 months. Then afterwards, you can try to notice the changes it made in that relationship. Maybe you'll realize that the absence of sex actually improves the romantic spirit... Who knows?
[MENTION=87469]Zachi[/MENTION] I think your depiction is a bit extreme. Sex isn't a bad thing by any means, nor does it need to be limited to reproduction. Like i said, it is pleasurable, and basically a really high form of intimacy (It's a very vulnerable act). And on the note of pleasing, if my partner enjoys it, of course I'm going to do it at times, I would hope they feel the same way in that regard. I think it's a healthy act. Course, I do think that it really is a smaller portion or part of being in a romantic relationship than other people and the culture i live in says it is.
I agree that we live in a very sexualized world, and that it's better not to act like a sex craving maniac. But like I said, your depiction sounds a bit extreme.
You may think it sounds extreme now, but even you, try to separate every thought of sex from all romantic contexts, and go all in for the non-sexual approach on the relationship for at least 3 months, and maybe you will have a revelation too. Maybe you will discover something about love, that you wouldn't have discovered without letting 100% go of the sex... You can't know until you try it... And by the way, when I say non-sexual, I don't mean non-physical. I just mean you should keep your genitals out of the intimacy. You can still kiss, touch, grab, hold, roll around in bed, and all that kind of stuff, as the usual kind of love making... JUST, without the use of genitals...
Yes maybe i will have the revelation that it sucks to pointlessly go without sex for 3 months
"After Zachi lived all his life without sex at age of 90 he realized it wasn't worth it." That's how story ends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hooo! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Hooo! Not pointlessly... If you erase the thoughts of sex from your mind, you will get rid of a distraction, that used to make it difficult for you to see the actual person that you're in a relationship with, because normally, every look at their body used to remind you of how you'd like to put your pe*** inside of them - instead of you actually seeing the lovable person you're with as a human with emotions and a story. People who have sex with their loved ones, I am sure they can still see the beauty and emotions in their partner, but from time to time, they will also get distracted and then their minds will play games with them, where they have to distinguish between a f***able body and a lovable person... And it's not good for a relationship, if you always have to distinguish between those two things. The only way, you can get the pure experience of only seeing your loved one, as a lovable person, and not an opportunity for sex, is to train your mind to stop thinking of them as a f***able body. You can't do that, if you have sex with them. You need to get used to the thought of your loved one, not being a person you'd have sex with - and yes, it will be difficult, yes it will take some time. But if you give it 3 months, I am sure you'd discover something positive, and you'd feel a much closer connection to that person, than you did before, when your mind kept distracting you with useless sexual thoughts... I mean, sex is nothing but an addiction. But if you work on it, you can get rid of that useless and non-romantic addiction, and learn to enjoy the relationship a lot more.
Give it a try, and see what happens.
Actually, I wasn't planning to live my entire life without sex. I recently had a girlfriend, who broke up with me, because she thought I should support her with money, which I didn't think was my responsibility as her boyfriend. But anyways, before we had our money issues that split us apart, she also wanted to "do it" with me. I explained the same thing to her, that we should try not to do it, because it would make the relationship a lot more romantic and non-distractive from useless sexual thoughts. So we came to a compromise, that we would stay together for 3 months, and then we would "do it". So that she could have a chance at experiencing my vision of true love, and then I could give her strange idea of me putting my **** inside of her a try as well, afterwards. So that was our compromise, and our agreement. If it wasn't for the breakup (which is caused by reasons not related to this subject) I would have still been waiting for those 3 months to pass. So I am not saying, I wouldn't give it a try either. I am sure it wouldn't have changed anything, and I would still find it inappropriate to have sex with a person I love - BUT I am just saying: I was willing to give it a try, so now you guys give MY idea a try.
Ps. I like how this forum automatically blinks out my "dirty" words with * symbols. It's like, in some way, it is not accepted to talk about sex - but people still call it "love making" despite not being allowed to use words that are related to such activities here. It's funny and contradicting... This just shows how ridiculous the whole concept of "making love" is. You can't even describe in details here on LOVE FORUM what "love making" really is, because you'll get most of your words blinked out. Very contradicting...
I'm all for not putting sex on a pedestal
Yes it's intimate
Yes it's important
Yes it's nice
But that holds true for taking a big shit in the toilet too
And if i maybe stopped and didn't take a big shit for three months then maybe my ass would feel like being new born again.
Ye well
I'm not tempted
No, you shouldn't stop taking a shit for three months LOL
But maybe you should try not to make it a part of your relationship with your loved one. It's your own business whenever you go to the toilet, and it's not an experience meant to be shared with your loved one.
Same goes for sex.
You don't have to stop fantasizing, and "doing it" with yourself for three months...
All I am saying is, you should try not to make the body of the person you love to become the subject for your sexual fantasies. Leave that out of the relationship!
Cmon man, you are virgin, why do you teach about sex other people if you never did it yourself.
Sometimes, you don't need the experience to use your common sense
Well, good luck inside a pussy with your common sense then!Quote:
Originally Posted by Zachi [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Because making the body of the one you love be the middle point of your sexual fantasies is about the worst thing that could happen to you and them...
That makes asbolute common sense
Oh wait. No it doesn't. Not at all
I'd have to HAVE a relationship in the first place. LOL! But truthfully, you may be talking to one of the only other guys on earth who COULD be in a relationship and go 3 months without sex and not have the slightest problem with it. Heck, truth be told, I could be in a relationship that didn't involve sex at all and be perfectly happy with it... as long as it wasn't just a symptom of something being wrong. In other words, if we are in a relationship but never have sex... but she WANTS sex and just doesn't truly love me... yeah, then I'd rather be alone. If we are truly in love, we are plenty intimate (we hold hands, cuddle, kiss, etc.), and for whatever reason sex just isn't part of that.... I actually could be completely fine with that. It's just pretty unlikely in the world we live in these days.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zachi [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I think my views actually align a lot with what GLYC was saying, actually. That sex can be fun and pleasurable, and it should be able to be part of a happy, healthy relationship if that is what both want. It just shouldn't be THE most important thing in my personal opinion. I 100% agree that the world we live in these days is way too damned over-sexualized.