Am I being a creep?

Hi ladies of LoveForum

Imagine a creep was stalking after you. You want to get this creep off your back. He texts you that he loves you. But you want nothing to do with him.

Girls this guy won't back off no matter what.

Here's the deal: YOU have possession of some of his belongings. And in ALL of his text messages, the creep asks you to return the items.

Will you return his items to him (or pay him for them if you threw them away) if that meant getting him off your back?
The creep (case in point: me) believes that by not returning his items to him, you are 'subliminally' sending him cues that you DO want him to keep messaging you.

...
I am going through a similar problem. I love this woman. She has my items. She says she wants nothing to do with me. But she doesn't return my items to me either. What gives? What could this woman possibly be thinking? I have tried to understand her state of mind but my musings lead me to nowhere.

I was hoping to get a second opinion from you folks.

Does she indeed love me or have I misunderstood her intentions?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bhujerba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I am going through a similar problem. I love this woman. She has my items. She says she wants nothing to do with me. But she doesn't return my items to me either. What gives? What could this woman possibly be thinking? I have tried to understand her state of mind but my musings lead me to nowhere.

---

Your mistake is trying to interpret intent based off behavior.

Leave her alone. She's probably not returning your stuff.

If you want your stuff back badly, pursue legal action. Otherwise stop bugging someone who outwardly says to stop bugging them.

Okay I have one tiny correction to make. I ONLY sent her ONE text letting her know that I had feelings for her.

All of my messages after that (over 20 of them) have been requesting her to let me take my stuff and get it over with.

Why would I send a legal notice to someone I love? Won't that only make things worse between us?

What would you have done if you were in her place? Would you return the stuff if it meant getting rid of the guy forever?

Defo doesn't love you mate. Terrorising you, perhaps. Trying to lure you into making yourself look like a desperate wierdo, maybe. Loving the attention, quite possibly. But, whether she is doing it on purpose or not doesn't really matter, you really are being weird regardless, and should just leave her alone.

Find a nice girl, and treat her nicely. If she doesn't want to see you, go do something else.

You even call yourself a "creep " so you even know you are being weird with her.

I am literally asking that sly woman to return my stuff and nothing more. How is that me being a creep?

Perhaps I skewed your thoughts about my situation a little by inserting the weird 'creep'.

I am literally asking that woman to return my stuff to me. How is that wrong? I am not asking her to go out on a date with me or something. I even told her she could give the items to the security guy and get it over with. How is that wrong or creepy?

I have 'left her alone' but I don't understand the meaning behind her not returning the stuff.

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Yadi [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Defo doesn't love you mate. Terrorising you, perhaps. Trying to lure you into making yourself look like a desperate wierdo, maybe. Loving the attention, quite possibly. But, whether she is doing it on purpose or not doesn't really matter, you really are being weird regardless, and should just leave her alone.

Find a nice girl, and treat her nicely. If she doesn't want to see you, go do something else.

---

How am I being weird by asking for my own items?

I would have a friend return items to guy i don't like. if like him i would arrange a place to meet to return items or reconnect

i suspect this girl is baiting you to stay in contact with her perhaps to make other guys jealous she is being persued by other men

she doesn't love you but not ready to let go of you as returning items would cause "game over" between the two of you

You need to completely let it go. Never contact her again. She does not love or like you in any way, shape, or form.

Have you tried just asking her why she keeps your items? I mean it would be very revealing what argument she brings forward to justify her keeping your possessions.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by missluna [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Have you tried just asking her why she keeps your items? I mean it would be very revealing what argument she brings forward to justify her keeping your possessions.

---

She only gets angrier when I ask her to let me know why she wouldn't return it. She neither wants me back, neither does she want to return my stuff to me.

If you wanted to get a guy off your back, wouldn't it make sense to clear out all outstanding dues?

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mr Married [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You need to completely let it go. Never contact her again. She does not love or like you in any way, shape, or form.

---

What makes you so sure?

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bunnyhabit [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I would have a friend return items to guy i don't like. if like him i would arrange a place to meet to return items or reconnect

i suspect this girl is baiting you to stay in contact with her perhaps to make other guys jealous she is being persued by other men

she doesn't love you but not ready to let go of you as returning items would cause "game over" between the two of you

---

I want my stuff back. I told her that she doesn't have to meet me. That someone else can drop it off to my place, that she can mail it to me. I gave her every possible alternative to not have to make contact with me. But she doesn't budge.

Would you return a guy his stuff back (doesn't matter how cheap) if it meant getting rid of him forever?

being unaware what the "stuff" is, it is possible she believes this "stuff" is hers and not yours and has no intention to ever return this "stuff" to you?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bunnyhabit [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

being unaware what the "stuff" is, it is possible she believes this "stuff" is hers and not yours and has no intention to ever return this "stuff" to you?

---

It is my stuff. She knows that very well. Maybe a bit of backstory will help.

I broke off with her in the first place. But I didn't take my stuff. Part of me wanted to not break off with her, but messed up as it is, I broke off with her.
Then I asked her to give me back my stuff. She hasn't given it back to me.

She no longer wants to see me however even though I have apologized to her numerous times. She also owes me a bit of cash too which she can easily give back to me without breaking the bank. But she wouldn't do that either.

She says she no longer wants anything at all whatsoever to do with me. So I said, "Fine, please return the stuff to me." And she only gets angrier and angrier.

that makes no sense, why would a girl want guy stuff? i think she is keeping as to, punishment you since you are hounding her about it.

what is this stuff that is so important as to be the center of attraction to both of you. appears so childish to fight over so much.

Stop talking to her. It would be nice if she gave your stuff back, but she won't. Now let it go. She's not interested in dating a stalker.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bulrush [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Stop talking to her. It would be nice if she gave your stuff back, but she won't. Now let it go. She's not interested in dating a stalker.

---

Maybe I should have used the right choice of words. I am not stalking her. I am not sending her emails. I have stopped contact with her.

What I don't understand is why she isn't giving me back my stuff.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bhujerba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What I don't understand is why she isn't giving me back my stuff.

---

Because she's a poor example of a human being.

hulrush, no need for unqualified misogynist woman hater comments, she is responding as a female would be expected to.

Yes you're being a creep. because i'm sure there is a hint of "i still want you" in your interactions with her (because you ask the qeustions and wonder if she wants you... case closed).
So let's stop being a creep and do it right.

Let her know that your interest is just to get your belongings back. And ask if she still has them at all. If yes, let her know that you'll be happy to agree to any arrangement she's comfortable with so you can get your belongings back.. you will pay the cost. Whether that's going thru an intermediary she can leave the items with that you can then get them from. This includes pre-paying for the cost of shiping them back to you. This includes driving to a neutral site where they can hand off the items to you and she can bring whomever she wants to be there with her so she's not worried or nervous about interacting with you.

Whatever it is.. "i just want my things back please"...

If she says no.. you're stuck with that.. move on.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by richiro [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes you're being a creep. because i'm sure there is a hint of "i still want you" in your interactions with her (because you ask the qeustions and wonder if she wants you... case closed).

Whatever it is.. "i just want my things back please"...

If she says no.. you're stuck with that.. move on.

---

How am I being a creep for asking for my own stuff? I asked that woman to MAIL my stuff to me. I offered she can give the stuff to the security guards. I EVEN Told her that she can pay me the money if she threw the stuff out. A better way to title this thread is, "Is SHE being a creep and a b**ch for not returning my stuff to me?"

Its true I am using my stuff as an excuse to establish contact with her. But why wouldn't she just GIVE IT BACK and take away my reason for contacting her?

she is probably sending your messages to her friends with note "see why i dropped this loser"?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bunnyhabit [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

she is probably sending your messages to her friends with note "see why i dropped this loser"?

---

She still has my business profile on her website.
She hasn't returned my stuff to me.

What must I do to get her back?

because she is mad at you and is easiest way to punish your behavior. i bet if you leave her alone for a few weeks she will return your stuff thru her new boyfriend who will warn you about bothering her ever again.

I am reading your posts in a creepy low voice and this whole thing gives me goosebumps. She doesn't want to deal with you anymore and that includes not even giving you the courtesy of returning your stuff. Stop reading into her behaviour to fit your desire she might in some way still want you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by omgtotallyxo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I am reading your posts in a creepy low voice and this whole thing gives me goosebumps. She doesn't want to deal with you anymore and that includes not even giving you the courtesy of returning your stuff. Stop reading into her behaviour to fit your desire she might in some way still want you.

---

Please elaborate how I am the creep when the only thing I've asked her to do is to return my stuff to me.

What right does she have to take my stuff and not give it back? I guess the very first post in this thread painted a dark picture of me. Is it because I used the word 'creep' to describe my own behavior?

All I want is my stuff back. Is that an unjust, unreasonable demand to make? How is that creepy? How is that me being unreasonable?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bhujerba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Please elaborate how I am the creep when the only thing I've asked her to do is to return my stuff to me.

What right does she have to take my stuff and not give it back? I guess the very first post in this thread painted a dark picture of me. Is it because I used the word 'creep' to describe my own behavior?

All I want is my stuff back. Is that an unjust, unreasonable demand to make? How is that creepy? How is that me being unreasonable?

---

I didn't say what you are demanding is unreasonable. You didn't ask us to determine whether your demand is reasonable or not. You wanted to know WHY she is acting this way. She doesn't have to act reasonable.

if she has possession of the "stuff" it is her "stuff" not your "stuff". if you want it back file a theft complaint with the police but you will have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are the legal owner of the "stuff". Good Luck doing that. she can say you gave to her or is someone else's "stuff". since she has possession burden of proof falls on you to extract from her possession.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bunnyhabit [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

if she has possession of the "stuff" it is her "stuff" not your "stuff". if you want it back file a theft complaint with the police but you will have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are the legal owner of the "stuff". Good Luck doing that. she can say you gave to her or is someone else's "stuff". since she has possession burden of proof falls on you to extract from her possession.

---

Don't think his theft complaint will succeed either. She didn't steal from him. Doubt he would do anything about the possessions. Probably some low value stuff. This is just some silly quarrel.

[MENTION=71368]omgtotallyxo[/MENTION] I Agree with you 100%. he wants her, but she has moved on to someone else. using "stuff" as excuse. Simple Revenge ploy but she is holding all the cards. i been there done that to ex's and always prevailed in the end.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by omgtotallyxo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Don't think his theft complaint will succeed either. She didn't steal from him. Doubt he would do anything about the possessions. Probably some low value stuff. This is just some silly quarrel.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bunnyhabit [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

[MENTION=71368]omgtotallyxo[/MENTION] I Agree with you 100%. he wants her, but she has moved on to someone else. using "stuff" as excuse. Simple Revenge ploy but she is holding all the cards. i been there done that to ex's and always prevailed in the end.

---

She also has my business portfolio on her business website. She can easily delete me from there. Every time she posts something, she sees my name up there.

Here are the following reasons why I believe she isn't returning the stuff:

1) She doesn't want to let go (my favorite)
2) She is afraid of me (the worst possible reason but less likely because a frightened person would try their best to get rid of all outstanding dues to not have to deal with the person who scares them)
3) She is on a power trip and wants to show to me that she can get away with it (a reasonable explanation)
4) She wants to punish me (I like this option better because it means she still has some feelings for me)
5) She is angry (my favorite reason because it means that she has strong feelings for me)
6) She doesn't give a **** and thinks its a waste of time to even concern herself with the stuff (not plausible given the number of times I have sent her emails about my stuff)

Please take your pick.

One more clue for you is that she still has my business portfolio on her business website and she can easily get rid of me by the click of a button. Very easy.

a narcissist guy will never let go, but he will eventually back off if she goes totally “no contact”. The narcissist will harbor anger, malice, and jealousy toward the target girl who ignores and disciples him, from time to time, if he between targets, he will attempt to contact her by using seemingly legitimate excuses. If she REALLY ignores him and the narcissist has no way in, you won’t know about it when the he tries to hoover around her by using an excuse to stalk her

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bunnyhabit [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

a narcissist guy will never let go, but he will eventually back off if she goes totally “no contact”. The narcissist will harbor anger, malice, and jealousy toward the target girl who ignores and disciples him, from time to time, if he between targets, he will attempt to contact her by using seemingly legitimate excuses. If she REALLY ignores him and the narcissist has no way in, you won’t know about it when the he tries to hoover around her by using an excuse to stalk her

---

Is she being a narcissist for not giving me back my stuff?

you are narcissistic person not her.

I don't know about narcissist but you are definitely obsessive. Swallow your pride and let it go.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by bunnyhabit [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

you are narcissistic person not her.

---

What does stealing my stuff make her? She hasn't even given me back some of my cash. It's MY cash. It's MY money. It's all ME. How dare she keep my stuff. HOW DARE?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lovebroken [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't know about narcissist but you are definitely obsessive. Swallow your pride and let it go.

---

1) Why doesn't she give me back my stuff?
2) Why doesn't she remove me from the business website?

you gave to her so now is hers not yours anymore, isn't it obvious?