Impossible to read

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10-12-12, 03:31 AM
OKANEED

Impossible to read

Okay, I am 16, and the girl is in the year below; 15.

I have been talking to her and meeting her for maybe 2 years at school, but she continually goes on streaks of ignoring me, then suddenly wants me back and send messages saying she wished I was there. Her parents recently divorced and she was in Hospital for a heart disease, so I can understand her being unhappy, but then about a month or two ago we argued on bbm over something trivial, and she ignores me... I got fed up and deleted her in a spur of the moment, and am not sure if it is worth asking a friends of hers to re-add her and try and talk to her. She is in the year below so I don't have any lessons with her, so to talk to her and organize something with her means I have to use the phone. Something to throw in there, her dad really likes me and we get on well, and apparently in a conversation about who she was going to marry, they were joking around and he was adamant it would be me. I know they were joking but it is surely something that he would say that to her? I cannot stop thinking about her every minute of the day, but I don't want to just get pushed away again.

Thanks
10-12-12, 03:36 AM
basilandthyme

Okaneed, my best dating advice for now and your future is to not bother with someone who is either hard to read or who runs hot and cold. And this girl is doing both.

The best relationships are easy to understand and comfortable to be in
10-12-12, 03:53 AM
OKANEED

Thanks, my only thought is that I guess I might be kind of "desperate" in that I have never gone out with a girl, or done anything with a girl for that matter, not out of inability, simply because I choose not to most of the time ... because everyone seems shallow at my age, and I suppose I am scared of asking ... thanks for the advice though!
10-12-12, 03:56 AM
HeartIsAching

Don't worry about it. You're only 16. Right now what you're doing is practicing for the real thing in a few years.
10-12-12, 03:57 AM
Love'sReject

Oh, please HIA: Spare the guy your ageist crap.
10-12-12, 04:01 AM
HeartIsAching

It's truth, boy. I know you can't handle the truth though.
10-12-12, 04:03 AM
Love'sReject

Don't dismiss high school romances as not "real." They matter just as much.
10-12-12, 04:18 AM
HeartIsAching

Don't get me wrong - at the time they feel like they're the most important thing in the world. A huge part of that is the raging hormones.

But the real relationship/romance part - that happens later.
10-12-12, 04:20 AM
Love'sReject

BS. I know a few guys and gals that met in like sophomore year and are married now; their marriages are going VERY well.

Plus, if a guy doesn't enter a few relationships in high school, he'll probably end up like ME. And no guy should really want that.
10-12-12, 04:23 AM
HeartIsAching

Yep, it happens. Happened to my brother in fact - but it's rare.

And whoever said not to enter into relationships? I just said not to take it too seriously, not to worry about it too much.
10-12-12, 04:25 AM
Love'sReject

My point is, high school relationships are more important and real than you suggest. If a guy doesn't have one in HS, he usually goes on to be a loser..like me.
10-12-12, 04:29 AM
basilandthyme

LR, this thread is not about you
10-12-12, 04:30 AM
Love'sReject

HIA was being ageist as usual; had to correct him.
10-12-12, 04:32 AM
searock

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And whoever said not to enter into relationships? I just said not to take it too seriously, not to worry about it too much.

^^^^^This.
10-12-12, 04:34 AM
OKANEED

Now you are scaring me Love'sReject :P I suppose it might just be a question of having the courage to ask a girl! Some girls are interested, I am fit and somewhat well-built, and intelligent, perhaps too smart for my own good ;) so I do get some attention, I just ignore it, or run away from it. And HIA when you say don't worry, do you mean not make any active effort to find a girl and just take any chance that comes my way, or look for girls, but not take it too seriously? And Love'sReject; you might not want condescending rhetoric from a 16 year old, but I don't believe in "losers"!
Oh and I am no feminist but I hate sexism and treating girls like objects, so it feels like going out with girl just for "practice" is using her... /:
10-12-12, 04:50 AM
HeartIsAching

No, I don't mean don't make an active effort - I mean don't stress over it. If you're interested in a girl, and you think she might be interested in you, by all means, ask her out.

And this is for both you and LR - there's a very easy way to tell whether or not you should try:

Look her straight in the eyes (look NOWHERE ELSE, I know the temptation is strong) and smile. If she smiles back, you've got a shot. If she doesn't, move on.
10-12-12, 04:53 AM
OKANEED

Awesome thanks! Hmm I will keep that in mind, is this in the middle of a conversation or when I catch eyes with her?
10-12-12, 04:55 AM
HeartIsAching

At the beginning of the conversation is best - but there's no hard and fast rule.
10-12-12, 04:59 AM
OKANEED

Thanks :D I appreciate it, and with some luck I will be back with a success story!
10-12-12, 05:02 AM
HeartIsAching

See LR? This is how it's done. The boy's got panache. You should try it sometime.
10-12-12, 05:06 AM
OKANEED

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

See LR? This is how it's done. The boy's got panache. You should try it sometime.

Ahh I haven't been described as that in some time :D Probably about time I got my head out of the books and showed a bit of flamboyance indeed xD
10-12-12, 05:14 AM
Love'sReject

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

See LR? This is how it's done. The boy's got panache. You should try it sometime.

Yeah, but I hate my smile. I rarely have reason to so after years of not, my smiles look strained and weird.
10-12-12, 05:14 AM
HeartIsAching

Always with you it cannot be done.
10-12-12, 05:15 AM
Love'sReject

If you were me, you'd have a hard time getting girls, too.
10-12-12, 05:17 AM
searock

Not because of your looks.
10-12-12, 05:25 AM
OKANEED

The Game by Neil Strauss (Can't post a link, being a "noob" to this forum :D)

Personality and Humour is everything - Looks change, they can be altered easily, personality is another matter. I read this book last week, and it just goes to show that looks mean nothing, they can help, and they can make it more difficult, but they are not a be all end all! I am not suggesting you devote your life to treating women like objects, or conquests, but as a proof-of-concept that women are not as shallow as you might think!
10-12-12, 05:27 AM
HeartIsAching

Looks are highly subjective anyhow - particularly in males. My wife says I'm the most handsome man in the whole world, and I'm sure that's true - to her. I know for a fact that I'm not even close as far as smackie or Vashti are concerned.
10-12-12, 05:41 AM
OKANEED

I would rather be funny and not good looking than good looking and a complete dolt. Plus in my opinion (almost) everyone is able to have a shower, cut their hair, smile a bit and wear some reasonable clothes and look good. Well if there is ever a vote, you can count on me if you ever run for Most Handsome Man in the (Whole) World xD