family not approved and she dumps me..

hi all im a true lover to my girl and now being dump after a 4 years relationship....i never cheated her with any girl, never hit her like other loser guy do to other girls, never take drugs or booze drinker ass....all i do is loving her and be there for her all the time she needs me..
she dumped me because of her family hates me due to wrong information given to them...or because of diff religion ...im 33yrs now and im lost way to stand and do anything right...thinking of dying are one of the option too...its so painful to move on in fact i cant even move at all, scared to step forward and scared to step back...please guys i hope im at the right place to share my feelings here thanks for sharing...

by the way she couldn't event face me so she broke up via sms and this is the worst part of all...i know she is suffering inside too, deep down inside her still wants me back so bad and i wanted her too...so now im keeping my distance and trying not to sms her so much or no sms at all or worse call her...im an orphan so i got nobody else to talk to about this accept for friends but friends have their life too to keep up with.. im so blurred and empty now...

If it's a family thing, you're in a bad position. You don't want to make her choose between you and her family right? Well it's true that different religions create problems, you have to look for a girl that has the same religion as yours or a girl that has family that would accept you

well i reli started to hate this religion thing ...it creates more pain in this world rather then happiness ...my dad is chinese and mom is bugis muslim even so i was brought up by my god father and he is chinese so i dont give a damm about religion and race..she loves me still but she ignoring me and being quiet for almost 3 weeks now, and i heard she felt sick because lack of sleep and food. She is so pure and i know this since im the 1st guy she ever slept with and we planned to get married next year and move away from here, but sudden changes happen to her and so sudden her mother fall sick all the time and this is crappy act by her mom and i know this very well because her mother knew its almost time for me and her getting married next year

its so hard to move on painful and my mind keep thinking of her...what should i do now? should i make a move by seeing her at her apartment? but she said she's not ready to see me now and what is that means? does it means if she sees me she will not go back to her family anymore or she trying to see if she can separate from me for while ? this really confuse me because i think if don't do anything and just listen and respect to her needs i will loose her for good? please give me some advise here

Funny thing if religion is reason for not accepting you...shouldn't religions be all about accepting other people? Sorry to heard that you've got treated like that. :/

yea man that is exactly me and her was thinking at the beginning of our relationship, we both are not good prayers our self but we both knows that god is exist and thats it for us and we being so happy for 4 years, we are so in love like the 1st time we meet keep holding hands together, kiss each other like no tomorrow and seeing each other every single day.....hell we even race together man.......how on earth i can let go this kind of girl bro?....i cant! definitely no hell no!

Well, I always think like that just before letting the girl go and suprise, finding another one. But maybe not all of us are blessed with true love, lol. :D

I personally also would prefer to marry someone with the same religion. It's too complicated to me to marry someone who's not even christian or something . I was raised as catholic and I would never change my religion and if I had kids with someone from other religion , I wouldn't want to not be able to spend christmas with my kids just because their father is muslim or whatever ,cause they would probably have to have his religion. My sister is married to a muslim guy and I see that there is a problem when she visits us for christmas so I just can imagine how it would be if they had kids together . But if someone want to mix religions, why not .As long as they aren't forced to believe in something they don't really want to ...

I'm willingly to do anything for her family as long I can be accepted by them told this to my girl as well but I don't know why she won't let me doit for the sake of the relationship, and now I'm suffering inside and this girl makes me cried harder then even loosing my family …what should I do now? Give her space and time to think for a while? Or save her from her family because they treat her like garbage ? But if I do I'm afraid she hates me for not respecting her needs?

What should I do now please help

i think so deep last night about my situation, i guess im going to ignore her for a while now and if god allow us to be together one day then we will, and i think i got the upper hand since she is the one that left me..any other human being will not sleep easily after dumping someone that being so kind and loving you with full heart. I never wish a bad karma for her either but what comes around goes around, by thinking this way i felt a little bit better in my self and all i need to do now is making my self bz by finish up my project car in the garage. Thank you all for your support im very grateful to encounter this forum, to share my stupid feelings with you all, and thanks again for some advise given here.

the feeling of wanting to meet her so bad is hitting me again......what should i do now? gosh this situation makes me act like an idiot now. what should i do? she told me not to meet her now she is not ready what is that means? Is she really said that to make me not to obey it? If i go and meet her now will she ever hate me? im lost now

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Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

the feeling of wanting to meet her so bad is hitting me again......what should i do now? gosh this situation makes me act like an idiot now. what should i do? she told me not to meet her now she is not ready what is that means? Is she really said that to make me not to obey it? If i go and meet her now will she ever hate me? im lost now

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Leave her alone because all your efforts r gonna be in waste. Recently me too suffered from the same situation and my fiancée broke up with me because her parents and family members dislike me and they are greedy for money. Bro, now all you have to do is have patience. "if you love someone, leave her alone, she will come back if she's yours and if she does not come back then she was never yours"

Its like this my friend. Been there done that. The best thing you can do is to move on, just cut all connection with her. Relationships with religious issues are never going to work and it wont be fair, either to you or her. Think like this, she is probabilly hurting more then you since shes under preassure 24/7
due to mental abuse by her family, you are probabilly not aware of what happeneds when shes at home. She probabilly broake up with you because she cant handle the preassure from her family, or she has found someone that is accepted. If you continue to chase her then you are only mind****ing ur self.
Im not saying that these kind of relationships are impossible. My parents have that kind of background and they are still married 25 years later. It takes a lot of effort to make this work for instance she really needs to be in love with you to cope with all the shit or she needs to be mentally strong and independent of her famili, which i assume shes not either. Remember that she has more to lose then you, her whole family for instance. My best advice is, move on dont waste time. I know its difficult but you MUST.

Best regards.

thanks alot for your advise fighter, the day she started to love me she knows at the end of the day she will have to go through this junction and choose to go left or right, so the decision has been made but not on her own will. We have planned everything but as her Mom is the real culprit behind all this.......i never hate her mom not even once but this is my love story goes...
I do really need to move on as being told by many people around me, i belive in true love and true love wins all so she will come back to me one day. I do hoping for this but not to put it under my top of wish list. Now im moving on but slowly,this is better then nothing.. maybe im being to pampered by her all this time that makes me hurt so much...deep down my gut she will come back to me...

Im glad that you understand. Ofcourse she knew the stakes but love is blind, at the begginging is when her feelings for you were at the peak and she probabily didnt care about the future at that time. I also belive in true love but som times you need to be realistic as well. If she really loves you she will come back, but dont keep ur hopes up. Dont blame her or ur self for this, people are different, som can handle the stress others cant. Thats the way it is. In the end you can comfort ur self as if she didnt have enought strong feelings for you as you for her. And you dont want to be with someone who doenst share your feelings, right? Never give more then you get! :)

good luck!

Thanks again for your point of view bro, as me and her is totally diff person, we both are very hard to fall in love with anyone, as I am being 32 years old and only have 3 x gf and her the 3rd. For her 26 years old this year only have 2 xbf and I am 2nd but the 1st guy she slept with and this is very important to her more then anything means theres no turning back and I'm will be the husband for her for being in bed with her. So for knowing her 4 years she will come back to me. As any normal human being they do mistake and cracked under pressure but there's nothing beats your 1st love! And I felt much better after reminds my self this way. Don't care what people wana say anyway

shit im back to square one again today! its like a video game shit happening to me now. Game Over reset! omg !

its almost 1 month now...we being apart from each other..how are you doing there? hope you are doing fine baby...for me im still struggling from this mess..gosh i wish i could talk or sms you now? guys should i go and see her after work today?

i guess doing what she is doing killing the feeling towards each other is the best way to move on, but im so scared to do this....im scared to do anything related my relationship..im afraid if i ever move on i will kill my feelings towards her.....

Sadly, you need to move on, kill those feelings, and don't contact her. You will get better.

i consulted a pastor church near her house as a coincidence working at the same place as i am now, ask him to arrange a prayer for her family for their safe and happier life. And for me now a free thinker due to lost hope towards religionity ...but i know god is exist and hope he will make her happier then before ...:upset:

let her worry about her happiness, you clearly need to start working on your own.

if she can't fight for you, she doesn't love you enough or she doesn't deserve you. either way, move on. maintaining a relationship is hard enough, you don't need an added stress of other people.

today i have decided to let her go ...by the look at her face and her tears ...i couldn't bare to see her sad and making her to decide between me of her family anymore....yeah she did fight for me for 4 years..but she finally broke down and follows her family wishes...i hope time will heal both of us and near future will reunite us back....i truly believe she is the only for me because we both love each other so deep and no 3rd person crap story as a reason we being apart......and god if you ever listen to me please show me the right way to get her back....and thanks for your advice Cerby always need a kick to my face to move on

today i cried so hard after i reach the office..i scream out her name out loud...holding a picture of us ...im i doing great or worst? i got nothing to loose so should i just kill my self?