how come im not over her

its been months now and ive been without her, doing ok, i get through the days without breaking down, i thought i was pretty much over her, but today i did something insanley stupid, sometimes i act before i think like that, anyway, i called her today, and talked to her, and everything, all the pain came rushing back, it still hurts, it hurts that it was so easy for her and so hard for me, it hurts me that shes with someone knew, it hurts me that i still hurt, it hurts me that im alone, it hurts me that i cant forget her, am i crazy? everyone i ever talk to shrugs it off, you'll get over it, but im still not over it- i havent gone one day without thinking of her, i really need some help, i just hafto find a way to not care, i could turn to drugs, i could turn to ****ing eveyr girl that moves, but im too smart for that and i know better..but that leaves me with nothing, i really just dont know what to do, why is it everyone says i dodged a bullet getting out of that relationship, says i was too good for her anyway, if thats true, then why am I the one who feels all the pain, and she just moves on like i was some toy that broke..i need some answers if anyone has any please

i wanto feel something other than pain again

Correct. That wasn't the smartest thing to do. However now you have to get over that.

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i really need some help, i just hafto find a way to not care, i could turn to drugs, i could turn to ****ing eveyr girl that moves, but im too smart for that and i know better..

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Why not look at turning to something POSITIVE? Have you ever wanted to learn a musical instrument? Did you ever want to start working out but kept putting it off? Did you ever want to learn more about cars and how to fix your own car and learn to do routine maintenance? Did you ever want to catch up on reading some certain books but never had the time?

Well, now you have the time. And ANY of those things would help to keep your mind off of it. And in the end, instead of ending up with addictions or STDs, you'll have some POSITIVE knowledge and will have turned all this new 'free time' and energy into something good and you'll end up being happy. (BTW, maybe none of those suggestions apply to you exactly, but you get what I'm saying)

Alexi

PS - why do you think I started this working out kick? Since my ex has become my 'ex', I now have more free time. And I said, "Hell. Lemme try to better myself." So now I'm working out a lot more, eating much healthier than before, practicing my clarinet more, and just in general trying to focus on good things.

Alexi

i make beats, and i had this thing early during the breakup where anytime i thought of her id do 10 pushups but i just stopped somewhere

Outlines-you already know what I had to say! So go to it!!!!!

I agree with everything Alexi said and its funny cause i already said it all...hes reinforcing what ive said-so two heads are better than one!!!

yeah it just hurts so much :(

i wear my heart on my short sleeve

outlines-get your support thing going!!!! It will get better-trust me-it will!

it is just so hard to see that ur ex-sweetheart is moving on n there u r still feeling the pain...when i was in that position when my ex had left me.... i almost killed myself in working.....i worked day n night till i got so tired physically n mentally everyday....so when i went to bed...i will just sleep......try to focus on other things...go out n meet ppl...

i am so stubborn,,,,,n for me that's the advantage of being so stubborn coz im showing everyone that everything;s ok...i wanna prove everyone that im a strong woman....n so i did...after few months,,,i got over it....i worked so hard with my business which shows good results.....n i tried to work out for myself....daily jogging n other physical fitness programs......u have to make urself busy to divert ur attentions to other things....

believe me, the pain that u r having now is only a little compared to the pain i had before...how worst my exhubby did to me....so be strong boy...

Awe, sweetie, I know it hurts and it's a crappy thing to have to go through. I've been there. I agree with Alexi and Squirrley though. They are very smart. Focusing your free time on something positive is a GOOD thing. Even going to your local library to read a book can take your mind off things. Lose yourself in a really good story or try a self-improvement book. It might give you some positive feedback that you are craving. Working out is always a good thing I find, because while you are getting yourself in shape, your body is releasing "feel-good" hormones. It's an incredible pick-me-up. And it's completely natural and good for you. Good luck with it sweetie. Hang in there. :)

yeah ive actually decided, im going to call later today- about volunteering to help kids and women who are from physically abusive families (the father being) considering im from that kindof situation too, although i might not be the best role model, or positive male influence- im going to give it a shot and see if i can be a help. plus i think it would really help me to stop being so selfish and put my life into some perspective

Im proud of you Outlines! :)

Dude, I feel your pain my ex broke up with me 4 months ago, and found someone new 1 month after we broke up. It still hurts this day. im doing alot better tho coz ive cut all contact from her. Trust me man, do NOT contact her at all. i made the mistake and keep ringing her nagging her, and it just pushed her further away from me. And it brought more pain to me. i know its hard to keep the No Contact. But as the days go by it will fade trust me.

yeah, you have got to get away. GOT to. Good luck and God bless. I reccomend prayer.

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Originally Posted by shenmue

yeah, you have got to get away. GOT to. Good luck and God bless. I reccomend prayer.

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You notice how she didn't FORCE it upon us? Or tell us how if we don't we'll all be going to hell? Or how we'll find out 'for sure' when we die?

Now THAT'S the way to recommend prayer. Not like Sweetie (quote, unquote).

Rod Steele

what? I'm a guy! and who's "sweetie?

Sorry. The icon next to you is similar to what Fawn's is/was. And Fawn is a girl. And it's an icon of a girl. And "sweetie" is this religious fanatic that was on the board for a few days.

Rod Steele

i smell like yummy

It's been about a month and half since my boyfriend of 4 years decided to move out/ break up. He says over and over that it isn't me, but that he needs to grow up and be able to support himself before we can get married and then support us. He should know it isn't about that- I have a college degree and don't plan on depending on him. But fact is, he does depend on me a lot. But were a little family, and family takes care of each other. I don't count on us getting back together. For my own sake, I just can't. I've been pysically ill over this, and still am. I still cry all the time. I'm miserable and have tried everything- getting out, meeting new people, losing myself in work-everything anyone could suggest. But nothing eases the pain. I could be surrounded by friends and still feel completly alone b/c he's not there- my family, my best friend, my partner- All lost in one person. As many times as he explains why he left, and no matter how many times he tells me loves me and that I "haven't lost him," it doesn't erase the fact that I hurt everyday. I haven't gotten over it and still hope he comes back. He's said he's wanted to come home several times, but then he would have failed b/c he hasn't done what he set out to do. How can struggling on your own be better? I guess its the male ego. But my little heart doesn't understand.

No one understands why partner actually leaves their partner.