Feeling down....need some words of comfort

I just turned 27 and am kinda feeling depressed. There were two things that I wanted to do before turning 28: go to grad school and get married and I dont' think I'll be able to do either yet. When I look at the girls I went to HS with, they're almost all married and the ones who wanted to go to grad school are done with that. I had major financial problems so I fell behind. I'm nowhere close to being married (don't even have a stupid bf). Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to meet someone who wants to be with me. I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I'm fairly attractive (I was voted prettiest in my high school class) and fairly intelligent (I'm getting a degree in computer science) but obviously I'm doing something wrong cuz I can't seem to meet a guy!!!

I don't know if I'm asking for advice - I just need to vent my frustration and hear some encouraging words.

Thanks.

it sounds like your trying too hard. why dont you take a step back and focus on 1 thing at a time. since you got free time focus on your school if thats a goal you want. maybe you'll meet some thru that venture.

im 28 divorced, broken home twice, lost a business with 1 girlfriend, never had a kid. be thankfull your slate is clean.

Hey hun I wouldn't worry about it too much. You're only 27. People get married and have children at an older age these days. I am 25 and I doubt I will be married or have children within the next 2 years. I know tons of women your age (an older) that are in the same position. Look at all the celebrities too. I know it is hard when we set expectations for ourselves and time passes us by without those expectations being met. Don't put a time frame on your life...things will happen when they are supposed to. As for finding a guy...I'd suggest internet dating sites like Match.com or EHarmony. It sounds lame but it's one of the best ways to meet people these days! Good Luck!

By trying to force certain things for yourself, you may be missing what your real life path is.
Try to relax and pull back.
The things you want will probably come if you stop trying to force it.

Don't let it get you down dear. You don't want to settle. Live life and worry about the things you can control, everything else well work out.

Marriage doesn't really mean anything anymore. If you look up statistics, you'll see that more and more people are getting married at younger and younger ages, and ending up divorced. They end up divorced because they aren't fully matured yet, nor do they know what they want out of life, or they're just so insecure and worried about being alone forever that they marry the first guy who proposes. Guys these days value an independent and smart woman, which you are. Try online dating. That's where I met my current boyfriend and we have been together a year now, and still crazy about one another.

Firstly, marriage is not something you can really plan. Yes, everyone has an ideal age whereby they would like to be happily married. But who knows what happens in the future? When will you meet the right person for you? Will you ever meet the right one? Even if you are in a relationship, nothing is definite. Anything can happen. These things that you can't control, don't worry about it! Don't get frustrated.

However, it helps to go out and meet people. If you're always within the same social circle, then less people will have the opportunity to even get to know you. Do things that you love doing. Go to places where you would meet people who like the things you like. If you like reading, maybe join a book club. Whatever it is, DO SOMETHING. Do something you enjoy and at the same time, will be able to meet more people.

Know that by being yourself, you are doing NOTHING wrong. This is extremely important. There are so many types of people in the world, people with so many different personalities! Maybe the guy who will like you for who you are hasn't come along yet but it doesn't matter. Because it's worth the wait. It's better to wait for someone who likes you for who you exactly are than to settle down with someone who may want to be with you for other reasons. But again, the MOST important thing is for you to be comfortable in your own skin. Know yourself and be confident of who you are. If you don't like yourself or if you're not feeling comfortable or even if you think you're doing something wrong, IT SHOWS. Unconsciously, you will be sending a message across that you are insecure and uncomfortable with yourself and naturally, this will make people feel uncomfortable around you as well.

Sure, looks and brains are the things people really look for nowadays. However, what's MORE important is your personality. Be friendly. Don't push it, don't be desperate. SMILE. And be yourself.

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Originally Posted by geekygirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I just turned 27 and am kinda feeling depressed. There were two things that I wanted to do before turning 28: go to grad school and get married and I dont' think I'll be able to do either yet. When I look at the girls I went to HS with, they're almost all married and the ones who wanted to go to grad school are done with that. I had major financial problems so I fell behind. I'm nowhere close to being married (don't even have a stupid bf). Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to meet someone who wants to be with me. I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I'm fairly attractive (I was voted prettiest in my high school class) and fairly intelligent (I'm getting a degree in computer science) but obviously I'm doing something wrong cuz I can't seem to meet a guy!!!

I don't know if I'm asking for advice - I just need to vent my frustration and hear some encouraging words.

Thanks.

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When I was in school I always thought I would be married by 28 and have minimum one kid by 30... I also believed I was going to have 5 children.
Oh, thank God I am off that track... I'm 28, so like you... at the moment I'm studying and want to start a new career (not the first attempt but the first serious one!). Life is good - I have travelled a lot and I spend my free time kitesurfing, going to concerts or just plain hanging out... Yes, I have a man in my life but marriage and kids are not an issue yet and don't need to be!!

You are young, you have time. You will fall in love before you realise it and suddenly you'll be apologising to your girlfriends for not seeing them so much

Code:

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#include <stdio.h>

#define PATIENTLY 1

void main() {
  wait(PATIENTLY);
};

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What do you mean can't meet a guy? I mean, if you're pretty, you surely have guys pawing at you whenever you go out. Is it an issue of not finding the right guy? They tend to be few and far between (and usually married or in LT relationships by their late 20s).

Might try something different from whatever you're doing now to meet guys?

the sooner you can get rid of those thoughts the better.. its just holding you back and not letting you enjoy your life now! Although financial difficulties are unfortunate, at least you are getting your grad degree now!.. life isn't a race and the sooner you realize and forget that, the better. All those thoughts drove me crazy and when I was 20 it drove me to the point where i just couldnt enjoy much anymore.. whenever i wasn't busy i would just worry about everything and drive myself further downwards.. but why??..

I just realized one day that I was doing this to myself.. just a vicious circle. I changed my mindset and haven't look back since. Just go out and do the things that you enjoy and want to do, and let the rest just fall into place. If you concentrate on everything else ahead of you years down the road, you are going to miss so many opportunities. Since i did, I have done so much, finishing up my bachelors, studied in europe, travelled, worked full time, and now about to apply to grad school.. its night and day compared to before.

i hate to sound like a bitch but prettiest in highschool? that was 10 years ago.

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i hate to sound like a bitch

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... Too Late!

27 is the new 17, so don't worry too much about it. You have plenty of time! :)

But in all seriousness, your life plans are plans made before life happens. You have to be willing to adjust your plans and timelines. Just concentrate on the things you can control and then lead your life, don't let it lead you.

Good luck.

Planing life is fine if you want to be alone i think, thats only way plans are gonna go 100% for ya. i had 1 plan for this year to buy a chick i was dating a ring...not even engagment ring. didnt happen cuz she cheated, then i dated sum1 else, then i dated sum1 else, then i got tired of dating people and sum1 found me. thats nothing close to that $200 ring i was gonna buy my gf lol. cant say it sucks but plans have a way of never happening as you plan.....so dont plan. just try and find personal happyness...thats my only plan.

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Originally Posted by wanderlustboy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What do you mean can't meet a guy? I mean, if you're pretty, you surely have guys pawing at you whenever you go out. Is it an issue of not finding the right guy? They tend to be few and far between (and usually married or in LT relationships by their late 20s).

Might try something different from whatever you're doing now to meet guys?

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It's partly not finding the right guy and partly not having guys pawing at me. I know what the problem is (I hear it all the time from my sister and best friend). I'm too introverted. I'm really bad when it comes to socializing. I'm really nerdy and quiet and tend to avoid social situations (especially if I dont' know anyone there) so that's probably why I'm having a hard time meeting someone. I think guys get scared when they see me all quiet and serious but that's not who I am all the time! Unforutnately, I think I come across as unapproachable (and maybe even arrogant) but in reality, I'm just really, super shy. Sometimes, I blush when a guy just tries to start a conversation. However, I can be really fun and adventerous when I'm with someone I know. I think I need to either find a fellow nerd who'll understand me or someone who's really outgoing and totally my opposite who'll be able to pull me out of my shell :)

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Originally Posted by aylie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i hate to sound like a bitch but prettiest in highschool? that was 10 years ago.

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It's ok....I was just trying to explain the situation as best as I could - I wasn't trying to be catty or arrogant or anything. Sorry if it sounded that way.

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement!! I really appreciate it and I definitely feel better. I know what I'm going to do - stop comparing myself to my friends and start concentrating on my grad school applications so I can get into a kick-ass school :)