Jesus Christ!! Here"s a stupid one, Is my Ass to big for these pants?"
answer: Your ass is to big to fit thru the door you stupid wench!
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Jesus Christ!! Here"s a stupid one, Is my Ass to big for these pants?"
answer: Your ass is to big to fit thru the door you stupid wench!
"Kids will do anything for attention these days"
My favorite: "Is my boyfriend a jerk?" Then this story about the World's Biggest *******.
The answer is yes. Yes, he is.
My favorite (in reverse) is: "Does size really matter?"...
LOL! Apparently, ass size is really important to this guy.Quote:
Originally Posted by shh!
Things like that are often of hyper-importance when you aren't getting any. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch
Well if your Shamoo I don't see how you could fit into pants.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shamoo
"It's not the length it's the girth"
Maybe Shamoo should have told her that her ass was girthy, not fat.
"So, what are you doing with your life?"
"Wen do you plan to get married?"
"How much school do you have left?"
I hate all those above and probably a sheit load I am missing in this category, I cant stand it when they ask me questions like these when I FIRST meet them. It is none of their fawking business how my life is going.
OV, you're very edgy for a guy who just got laid.
That's because it didn't go where he wanted.
Meh, it was a week ago. I just answered the threads questions.Quote:
Originally Posted by clynn
So what did you do it in her apartment that she shares with her boyfriend?
It was her apartment, she never shared it with him. We did it at my home though.Quote:
Originally Posted by clynn
ugh. Broken rule #298.
Never ever ever bring a broad back to YOUR place for the first time banging. Always hers.
Why? Doesn't seem to matter.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cybog
Well, actually if you can avoid her ever coming to your place for the first month or so, that is ideal.
#1. She knows where you live. What if she suddenly came knocking like a psycopath about something / anything? No thanks. (This happens)
#2. After a few night stays she suddenly gets the wild idea that she will leave her toothbrush / nighty / box of Cheetos at your place, which will eventually lead to her telling you how your room / apartment should look. This also leads to her basically telling you what clothes out of your closet you should be wearing, which leads to her buying your clothes for you.
No thanks.
#3. You now have to clean up, or else she thinks you are a dirty slob. This is YOUR crib, not some broads. You should be able to have it just as messy or organized as you want it without having to "pick up" just because something with a vagina is on its way over. Recipe for a broad telling you how to live your life:
Make a mess at your place.
Make it even messier.
Invite her over.
Don't pick up shit.
Open door.
Wait 0:30 seconds - 1:00 for the commentary about how you should live.
#4. This gives you an easy out. You don't have to worry about kicking some broad out of your apartment after the sex or in the morning. At your place, now you have a moping woman in your apartment going over all the things she would / is going to change. Since you DIDN'T bang at your place, you can leave as soon as you want to without having to deal with that headache.
#5. Much less chance of getting "caught" if you want to have multiple partners. (Even when you flat out tell broads that you aren't "together", they still assume that you are ONLY banging them.) Making sure that you aren't bringing women over to your place ensures that you aren't going to have to worry about leftover evidence.
Need more?
Points well taken but she knew where I lived before the banging even took place so oh well.
lol, you make it sound so complicated. :D but whatever floats your boat.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cybog
Funny, those are the same reasons I wouldn't let a man come to MY house. (Except the multiple partner bit.) Maybe this is why I haven't had sex right off the bat...
:-)
I agree with Cyborg, however, I choose to deal with some of the consequences for other reasons which I do not have the time nor interest to type out.
Since when did OV get laid? If it actually happened, I thought it would be a bigger deal.
Skeptical.
Since I got laid. How can I make it a big deal, want me to start doing jumping jacks ? or something?Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesummer
No, I just thought there'd be some 'Hooray for OV' thread.
And you don't seem very happy about it, that's why I have a hard time believing it, but whatever. Must've been some lousy sex.
Well, he WAS a virgin, after all....
:-)
That's true. First time is always lousy. Better luck next time OV.
It wasn't that lousy.....ok...it was lousy....but it was her fault, not mine.
Sure it was! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Only-virgins
How long did you last? I am betting < 15 seconds.
i'll see that bet and raise ten seconds.
I am guessing as soon as she put her hands on him, he was done. :D
No, we went on for a while, come on! :upset: I know she orgasmed.
Orgasm with a virgin? Yeah, right! Women almost never orgasm the first time they are with a guy, let alone one who is a virgin.
Don't worry OV. You will improve with experience (assuming you can gain some experience).
Yes, almost than, but she did with me, she made funny noises. Why wouldn't a girl orgasm the first time with a certain guy? specially if they like them alot?Quote:
Originally Posted by shh!
funny noises are good, but not an indication of orgasm. sorry ov.
Misombra is right. Funny noise =/= orgasm. ::novice - haha::Quote:
Originally Posted by Only-virgins
Orgasms for female are very much tied into their psychology, and most women need to have TIME to develop a close personal relationship and trust with a guy before they are to psychologically ready to "release". Rather than concentrating on the deed at hand, they are wondering if the guy is really going to call the next day, does he think my thighs are fat, does he think I am sexy enough, does he think I am a slut, etc., etc. That is why one night stands are so pointless for women. You aren't likely to orgasm anyway.
Just as a heads up shh!, and I know this might be a shocker - but not all women are as prissy and emotional as you are. Some women in fact do ENJOY having sex, and some women actually seek men out to fulfill their desires, much like men do for women.
Not every woman is as insecure as you are.
..nor is every man as misogynistic as you are. They usually outgrow it when they finally learn how to hold on to a woman .
I'm not surprised, you big old stud!! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by tooxshort
Many guys imagine themselves to be more proficient at it than they really are, though. The Kinsey report states that about 50% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm. I have never heard a man admit that his girl might be one of them...
yeah, that'd probably be me; story of my life....:sad2:Quote:
Originally Posted by shh!