After 2 weeks of break up, my ex misses me now

DISCLAIMER : Yes, this is the long-distance polish girl

She keeps bringing up the past, which i told her that i no longer want to talk about,
we should only talk about the present and future that we will have in our own countries.

I only consider her as a friend now, and she should respect that.

She said during the day of the breakup, that her feelings faded when she moved back, and that
she only felt something in Canada, because of the moments we shared and the environment.

Told me to move on and find myself a Canadian girl, and that is what i am doing.

I have priorities that are keeping me busy enough, so I don't need to worry about her.

I am quite over her now, and this missing you stuff came up and also bringing
out the kiss symbols when we chat, is not what i call normal.

I was going to see her in Poland, as a friend, but now with the way she is acting,
I think to be completely over her, it is best if i didn't see her at all.

This vacation will now only be for 2 weeks, to visit the family with the wedding and sightsee,
instead of the planned 6 weeks going into mid August, with the intention of meeting up with her.

She also mentioned, " But I still have hope that we will see when you come to Poland " " I still miss you"

She played with my emotions before, and really wasn't interested in this continuing because she said that
she'll never move to Canada, which is the only way it'll work long-term, and i don't want to do the long-distance
thing any longer, because it really is a waste of time, if the other isn't committed to see a future with us together.

Now that she sees that i am doing okay, with my schooling, consistent work,
and to have relationship with someone else, she wants to see, if something can
develop again in her hometown, and i want no part of it.

She told me that there's a date planned for her with someone new
for April 8, so she should focus on that person, instead of me.

I need to take a stand, as I put a lot of effort to make us work, and it was for nothing,
as she didn't see what she could have had in the future, but only that she is
comfortable with what she currently has.

She is an attractive girl, but that is not the reason i wanted to spend time with her,
it was because the more i started to get to know her, the more i grew feelings for her,
and liked the person that she was and the activities we could do together.

I realized that was just to benefit her, because she got comfortable with me and used my emotions
against me, and after a while when she showed me her true self, i knew it was time to move on.

I know i have a good perspective on this, but what do you think about this ?

I think she missed her chance. If I were you, I wouldn't fall back into all of that. She obviously can't make up her mind between not feeling anything and suddenly missing you.

NC. what are you doing still talking to her??!!

yh she had her chance.

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Originally Posted by lamobatsman [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

NC. what are you doing still talking to her??!!

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I still consider her as a friend, but our talks should reflect that.

I forgot to mention, that she talked about how sex can ruin a
relationship if it doesn't satisfy the female.

We rarely chat anyways, and i wanted to explain to her, that i want no part of it anymore.

She stated she is over it, so she should act like it.

i think ur being silly cos this shudnt even be an issue. dont talk to her. shes messing with ur mind obviously otherwise you wouldnt need to post on here about this. let her be and move on. ur happy with ur new life. no need to analyse wat shes doing

She's an attention whore. She stopped getting the attention from you and wants it back. If you give it to her, she'll push you away again after a while, and then want it back again.

i ain't giving her the attention though, and making a stand whenever we talk.
I already mentioned, that i wont visit her in Poland anymore, because it doesn't seem right.

If she keeps continuing this, i surely am going to stop talking to her, by deleting her account.

Yea you know what you're doing with it. Just don't let her guilt trip you or anything and make you feel sorry for her or come see her. If she keeps it up, block her like you said

I ain't feeling sorry for her at all, because i tried showing her what could be.

Me going back to her hometown wont change anything, because i know
what type of person she is now, and doesn't want a better life.

She should just leave me alone about this, and let me live my life.

Just because she looks a certain way, doesn't mean
i should change my outlook at the person that she is,
because she'll just hurt me again, like in the past.

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Originally Posted by Kromat83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She should just leave me alone about this, and let me live my life.

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Yea, it is the "ignore" or "block" button on whatever chat program you're using.

The best way to fix this is thru communication. Talk to her, be honest and tell everything that bothers you. You 2 need some time to talk and fix everything. I hope she understands.

She didnt need you when your heart was on a plate, now she dont deserve you. Took her long time to realise that theres so much more than meets the eye. Now that things didnt went so great for her she understands that you had more for her than most guys she will ever meet.

She had her chance kromat so forget her. Move on

Dump her lol !

I did dump her, but she seems to have regrets, I want no part of it

Ha ha, it was her who went cold first ! However if she want to meet why not. Not a big deal, once you see her you will cleary see where your feelings are for her.

Shes not so bad afterall, you met her at low point in your life and not really doing anything just by being herself was enought to make you fly high and start to dream of better things, better life. She didnt realise how special she is. Just her looks alone is a lot - ofcourse it was easy to love her.

We all do mistakes when we young. Shes getting smarter now for sure. You both could learn alot from each other just by being friends.

yes, by being friends, but for a relationship again
and seeing her in person again, I better not.

Me not wanting her back, after what I felt for
her before, should teach her a valuable lesson.

She needs to reevaluate the person she is, and think
over her decisions more clearly, and not jump
to conclusions so quickly.

How is someones looks make me love that person easier?

I worked with her for 2 weeks, so I got to know her
quite well, it could have been a person that was less
attractive, and I would still need to talk to them.

I can't decide who I fall in love with, and the more
I spent time with her, the more my feelings grew.

Yeah it would be akward to meet anyway, you are both have changed now.

I am doing what she wanted, by moving on.
I don't know where this mentality is coming from, but I could care less as I have someone new in mind, and don't see a future with my ex anymore, she had lots of time to change her mind before we officially broke up, but decided i wasn't worth the effort and i can handle her decision, because i did all i could.
I will be happy with a person that I find in my home province.

You're moving on and she needs to do the same. Whether she can handle it or not isn't your problem. You not going to visit her should make it pretty clear to her that you're done and want to move on. I'm sure she'll get accept it some day.

yep, sometimes not accepting that person back,
gives them time to realize what they did wrong.

Distance is a factor for sure, and I am not surprised
it broke off, but there never was a possiblity for her,
of what could be after a few months of being on her own.

Girls need to realize that, we want to work as a team,
It should never be about, I do this and you do that.

I think I have a good heart, and one day a girl will realize
this and be glad that she found me.

I need to focus on what makes me happy, and not have
negative people in my life.

Kromat, can I play Devil's Advocate?

When I read a lot of your posts, you're talking about how good it could have been if she'd tried to make it work....and how she didn't want it enough. However, unless I'm mistaken, it seems that the relationship had to be on your terms. Ie; she had to move to Canada.

If the relationship was really so special, why would you not move to Poland to be with her? I mean, either way, one of you would have to leave jobs, friends, family, home etc. But why did it have to be her who made the changes?

It seems to me it's not just her who wasn't making the required changes to make this work.

One of us would have to sacrifice, but she has a hard time finding a job,
okay, then why is she acting like this all of a sudden, i told her i was fine with the decision?

I want to move on, and i guess i acted too much on instinct, but even most people say that it's not so great in Poland, that is why i even mentioned it.

Why would i want to move to Poland when she even said later herself, that it was just for the moment and atmosphere, and she also said that she didn't love me as much as i did, so i realized this wasn't going to work, so why keep it going ?

Why am I being treated like the bad guy?, if a place
doesn't have a great economy, why should i move there ?

This has nothing to do with what i was saying before, because i've moved on after our break up and she's still bringing up the past, even though i just want to be friends.

The whole " I still miss you " and " we'll see in Poland how it is between us", really sounds like she just wants my attention again, but i want to start dating new people here in Canada, because her chance has been lost.

No, I don't mean you should move to Poland now. I was just thinking about when you *were* dating and planning a joint future, why was it that she had to be the one to move. I'd follow my guy to the ends of the earth and I was wondering why you wouldn't do the same.

I'm not intending to treat you as the 'bad guy'...which is why I mentioned being 'devil's advocate'. Just curious to see her side of the story. Could your resistance to moving been an influence in her being unhappy with the relationship? Perhaps she felt that all the changes were on her shoulders only?

I don't understand why you are still in contact with her. You want her as a friend? Why? Don't you already have friends? Stop being an idiot and block her completely. She'll get the message then.

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Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No, I don't mean you should move to Poland now. I was just thinking about when you *were* dating and planning a joint future, why was it that she had to be the one to move. I'd follow my guy to the ends of the earth and I was wondering why you wouldn't do the same.

I'm not intending to treat you as the 'bad guy'...which is why I mentioned being 'devil's advocate'. Just curious to see her side of the story. Could your resistance to moving been an influence in her being unhappy with the relationship? Perhaps she felt that all the changes were on her shoulders only?

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Its totaly normal to go with your man. Even church says that wife have to go with a husband. Its not man who is folowing the woman.

Also there is big unemployment in countries like PL and people are paid like 5 times less unlike countries like Canada/USA/UK/Australia.

Its hard to understand that when you never lived in a poor country.

If she liked him she would go there at least to visit. Know from my own expierience.

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Originally Posted by Kromat83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I did dump her, but she seems to have regrets, I want no part of it

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If my memory is correct, didn't she dump you...????

Ha ha ! Kromat dumped her after she dumped him. So basically he dumped her because he was last to dump. It was his plan to manipulate her to dump him by being needy and skyping all the time until she get fed up with it. Now he dont contact her so it works in reverse and she wants to be together again.

Its pretty complicated but thats how it works. You find a girl, have fun. Give her a break, keep her on a good terms and eventualy she will need cock and you will be there.

Rowen, my mistake, she did break it off.
How could i dump her when we weren't back again?
I just said that i that she misses me still, but
nothing was hinted on a relationship existing again.

She is good looking enough and seductive, to get in the pants of anyone.
She doesn't need to wait for me, if she's horny, because she is single and can do whatever she wants with her body.

There are lots of people she can find in Poland, so she doesn't really need me.

Dont forget that you are rich canadian and she propably havent met that much guys who fell in love with her so easy and natural. + you havent been in Poland for long. You will be amazed how beautiful girls are there compared to Canada. So shes not really that beautiful in Poland.

Most Europeans are good looking, but you can't base everything on looks, I had a great time each time we spent.
There were still lots of things outside of the house that i still wanted to do, but time was cut short.

We need to enjoy the moments, because we met think they'll last, but they'll be shortly be take away.

Nothing I can do about it now, neither of us is willing to move to the others country, plus she didn't love me as i did her, and she already stated to move on and find someone else in Canada.

Yeah great. So how would you describe the your dream girl? What are you after, whats most importand and valuable qualities should posses this special girl?

How will she look like?

Big breasts or just nipples
Tall and skinny or short and chubby
Long blonde hair or short and neon green
Chineese, black or white
Canadian or polish
Smart and talkative or quiet and good listener
Fun or all the way serious
Really fit into sports or laid back and comfortable.
Easly atracted or reserved
Passionate or calm
Optimistic or realistic

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Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah great. So how would you describe the your dream girl? What are you after, whats most importand and valuable qualities should posses this special girl?

How will she look like?

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-- Big breasts or just nipples
( don't matter )
-- Tall and skinny or short and chubby
( around my height, atheletic or average )
Long blonde hair or short and neon green
( long or shoulder length hair )
-- Chineese, black or white
( white )
-- Canadian or polish
( European, but open to Canadian )
-- Smart and talkative or quiet and good listener
( talks enough for a conversation, but listens well as well )
-- Fun or all the way serious
( fun, and likes to try new things )
-- Really fit into sports or laid back and comfortable.
( I like lots of various activities, so someone active )
-- Easly atracted or reserved
( I want there to be emotion, if it's there )
-- Passionate or calm
( passionate )
-- Optimistic or realistic
( can't it both ?, but optimistic is better )

I like a personality that I will enjoy, I don't need them to change, they
just have to be interesting, and like being around me.
Someone that shares the same love for each other, and can support each other
Through the good and bad times.

So generaly same as your polish girl only diference she will love you for who you are and be ready to be loved the same way. Always supportive always there no matter what.

it's equality, we need to help each other out.
I liked the person that she was around me, but
I see that she hid some things from me, which
isn't good.

This whole thing would have gone differently, if
she didn't open up like she did, and let us remain
friends until she left Canada, because I wasn't going
to advance at her quickly, because I knew she was
going back to Poland, but her initiating that kiss on the lips
changed things, and of course it grew my feelings towards her.

Seeing me each time made her happy and I was happy as a result.

I don't need someone completely similar like my last one, but
want the same type of love I felt for her, and expressing it back.

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Originally Posted by Kromat83 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Rowen, my mistake, she did break it off.
How could i dump her when we weren't back again?
I just said that i that she misses me still, but
nothing was hinted on a relationship existing again.

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Ah, okay, that makes sense. Either way, rejecting her advances towards getting back together is just that...rejection.

I guess you can call rejection.

I would have loved to stay in regular communication,
but I can't let her have her way after what she said.

This relationship would have been a risk, but i can't
force someone to do something they don't want too.

I am glad the way she decided,
because that is what she wanted.

She should worry about being
happy and so should I.

You can close this thread,
as I have nothing more to say.