Erase me from her life....

Ive been in the dating game and been through pretty much everything there is to do... but ive never had a girl completely try and erase me from her life...

I've been with the same girl for the past 7 months and i thought things were going ok, we argued alot but who doesnt? I was good at forgetting arguments and starting afresh, she took it all to heart and things built up to a point where we were away for 2 days and at the end of the two days she ended the relationship. I suppose those two days were a sort of test to see if we would be good together, looks like I failed.

I loved this girl to bits she was one in a million, miles better than anything ive ever had - maybe not in looks but she blew the competition out of the water with personality - the nicest girl ive ever met...

It came as such a shock to me, i werent expecting it, she says she still wants to remain friends.

Cutting all the details out, I log onto facebook and see that shes removed me as a friend... shes still got my friends added... i text her to see whatsup... no reply... message her on facebook... no reply... text her again asking her to read her facebook messages... no reply... ive never had to deal with this before, i understand her finishing things, and that alone has killed me, but trying to erase me from her lfie completely? Thats put a nail through my heart completely...

Please help me make sense of this...

It's not because she doesn't care... it's because she's still attached. By deleting you on fb, not replying to texts etc. she's trying to limit the amount she thinks about you, and subsequently would want you back. It's generally because she's hurting very much over the break up, and chances are when you try to make contact, it may put a smile on her face, but it drags her into a dilemma on what to do.

It's best for you to just respect the distance she wants to put between you two while it's still fresh, then maybe in a few weeks you can start to make contact again. I've gone through this exact same thing where I loved my ex so much I couldn't bear to be friends with him and nothing else. I deleted him off fb, out of my phonebook etc. It helped a lot and after a while I was able to be friends with him again.

Obviously you are also hurting and it seems it may be better for you if you guys were still in contact, but in the long run (from personal experience) it's best to have a cooling off period after a break up. You need to remember though, that her actions right now are no reflection on what the relationship meant to her. At this point, she will probably be irrational... confused... back and forth... for the sake of your well being, it's best for you to give her a bit of distance as close contact now could mean you also getting hurt.

Sorry if that seems a bit harsh, but I've been through this too and that's just my opinion :)

It means No Contact something we advise on here.

it's so she can process everything and go about her daily life without looking back on how she feels about you every second, kind of like removing you to sort herself out, everyone does it, you need to as well

Some people are better at it than others...they move on so quickly it's like you become a stranger to them overnight.

Others take longer to cut ties...

It's sad because everybody needs closure and your don't necesarily feel closure overnight..;sometime you need to talk it through and understand but it's not always possible like in your case when the other person has shut the door already.

No Contact rules...Cut your losses, learn from this and find other interests, new friends, new things to do..

Don't try to explore further the situation or to find out what she's up to...you might end up hurting more if you find out she's dating already.

SJD

lol my situation is more worst thn you..your gf only deleted your from facebook .........but my gf of 3 years not only deleted me from facebook but also blocked me,changed her id's and contacts as well its been 1 and a half month now

do no contact rule applies on me lol coz i already have no way to contact her apart from her mother's cell number but she is not less thn a ...........she will never allow me to talk to her even she herslef wantd me to quit frm her life.............

my situation is fully hopeless

I do this to my ex boyfriends, even the nice ones that I still kind of like.

Don't take it personally. For some people it's hard to be friends. The only way of truly moving on is to literally erase someone from your life. It's a cathartic experience.

She want's to move on in a healthy way. Let her.

Some insight into why I do it: I rebound quickly, I start dating right away and I don't want him to see it. Also, I super jealous. If a girl is writing on his FB I'd rather not see it. Technically it's none of my business but it would make me feel bad so I'd rather eliminate seeing it entirely. He has the freedom to move on and so do I.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I do this to my ex boyfriends, even the nice ones that I still kind of like.

Don't take it personally. For some people it's hard to be friends. The only way of truly moving on is to literally erase someone from your life. It's a cathartic experience.

She want's to move on in a healthy way. Let her.

Some insight into why I do it: I rebound quickly, I start dating right away and I don't want him to see it. Also, I super jealous. If a girl is writing on his FB I'd rather not see it. Technically it's none of my business but it would make me feel bad so I'd rather eliminate seeing it entirely. He has the freedom to move on and so do I.

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have you ever came back (patch up) after breaking all contacts with that person or have you seen anyone in your frnd circle who had a messy break up changed her/his all contacts to get rid of her/his ex but thn after few mnths or weeks got back togather?

No I haven't.

I'm not the type of person who plays games. When I break up with a person it's for a good reason and I mean it. I won't be back. When a guy breaks up with me (which happened recently) I believe what he says and even if he says he's made a mistake and wants me back (also happened) I've never returned to the relationship.

It's important to me in a relationship that both people are all-in and committed. Breaking up and getting back together shows a level of non willingness to commit (on my side or his) that I'm uncomfortable with.

Sometimes it;s easier and better to start a new clean slate with someone else.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No I haven't.

I'm not the type of person who plays games. When I break up with a person it's for a good reason and I mean it. I won't be back. When a guy breaks up with me (which happened recently) I believe what he says and even if he says he's made a mistake and wants me back (also happened) I've never returned to the relationship.

It's important to me in a relationship that both people are all-in and committed. Breaking up and getting back together shows a level of non willingness to commit (on my side or his) that I'm uncomfortable with.

Sometimes it;s easier and better to start a new clean slate with someone else.

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have anyone in your frnd circle done ths ? mean after break up he/she would have broken all contacts by changing numbers and id's but then got back/patch up

Stop being creepy and just leave your girlfriend alone.

Get out, get some new hobbies, date some girls. Try to distract yourself into moving on. You can't control or predict whether or not she'll come back to you so just try and let it go.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Stop being creepy and just leave your girlfriend alone.

Get out, get some new hobbies, date some girls. Try to distract yourself into moving on. You can't control or predict whether or not she'll come back to you so just try and let it go.

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um just trying to ask that is there still a hope that after changing her all contacts she can come back?

I don't know her so I can't give you false hope.

If I go by my own experience, no, there is no hope for that. Move on.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't know her so I can't give you false hope.

If I go by my own experience, no, there is no hope for that. Move on.

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yeah i know every person is different so cant read anyones mind
imn my situation we had a 3year of relationship n in these 3 years she never askd abt breakup until the 1st and last time when out of blue she said it as we had few disputes the whole week b4 so she said she fed up and i tried to get her back by calling n txting her n created a mess coz of that after 8 days of breakup she changed her id n cell numbers....its been 1.5 mnth since we broke up n 19 days without contact ...

You can't control her coming back and obsessing about the situation is only going to make you feel HORRIBLE.

The best thing you can do for your own health is to try your best to distract yourself and find other things that make you happy. Concentrate on lifting youself out of the sad feeling you have now.

Whether or not your ex comes back, you will feel better after you do this.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You can't control her coming back and obsessing about the situation is only going to make you feel HORRIBLE.

The best thing you can do for your own health is to try your best to distract yourself and find other things that make you happy. Concentrate on lifting youself out of the sad feeling you have now.

Whether or not your ex comes back, you will feel better after you do this.

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yeah um trying to but problem is she is associated with everythng i have got i stopped using hotmail n yahoo as we used to have voice chats there i cant use facebook coz it reminds me of her the only way to forget her is to move into a new relationship but honestly i dont want any other girl ryt now as talking to her will make me remind her at the moment um jst regretting that why i created such mess after breakup,i pushed her away if i wouldnot have done that may be she would have been talking to me ryt now

thn i thnk may be she got fed up so she wanted to live alone as i was continously contacting her so to get rid of me she did ths may be after she get nromal she will have her feelings back ....n if she loves me she will come back even after all the mess created by me

did you act like this during your relationship.... clingy, slightly creepy and persistent?

She will not come back. And you acting needy like this aren't attracting neither her nor other girls that "could" be your future partners. Lack of self esteem , mmmm very unattractive .

Ps and to your last post. She will not get normal ,because she already is. Lol

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Originally Posted by kitkitkitty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

did you act like this during your relationship.... clingy, slightly creepy and persistent?

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No i never acted like this in whole 3 years infact she use to say that she is the only one who always settle disputes n i never showed my emotions ,even couple of times b4 she said i wana broke up i replied ok upto you and she suddenly started crying n came back but this time i dont know what happened actualy she talked like dat as she delebrately wanted me to get shocked n in that shocke i should behave emotionaly n needy

it was that i just called her n dedicated a song n she replied "i dun love you" n dat was the climax

i was bit desperate too coz she was in my city for the first time in 3 years and i thought if she would go back thn we will meet again after a year so i reacted in a desprate way n she knew it that if she will leave me in her country i will not react in such a way n i will jst say ok bye ur life

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Originally Posted by Petit Papillon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She will not come back. And you acting needy like this aren't attracting neither her nor other girls that "could" be your future partners. Lack of self esteem , mmmm very unattractive .

Ps and to your last post. She will not get normal ,because she already is. Lol

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by normal i meant to say that she is so fed up now ...with the passage of time she will overcome this fed up thng and may start missing me..........because in life most of us got fed up from other partner due to some reason but thn after sometime evrythng comes back on track most of the times...i also got fed up once from her but she gave me space and after one mnth i came back .....but my fault was i got too desperate that i overloaded her with txts n calls which resulted in more irritation n she started feeling that um forcing her in relationshp that pushed her further away but now for 19 days i have no contact with her but her frnd told me that she has changed her cell number

clingy men= women running as far away as possible. let it go she's not interested.

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Originally Posted by Brokenapart [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

by normal i meant to say that she is so fed up now ...with the passage of time she will overcome this fed up thng and may start missing me..........because in life most of us got fed up from other partner due to some reason but thn after sometime evrythng comes back on track most of the times...i also got fed up once from her but she gave me space and after one mnth i came back .....but my fault was i got too desperate that i overloaded her with txts n calls which resulted in more irritation n she started feeling that um forcing her in relationshp that pushed her further away but now for 19 days i have no contact with her but her frnd told me that she has changed her cell number

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You watch too many mexican telenovelas, for real...Where did you get those statistics from?

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Originally Posted by Petit Papillon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You watch too many mexican telenovelas, for real...Where did you get those statistics from?

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actually it happened to me couple of times that i got too much fed up of her problems thn she left me alone saying "if u love me u will come back" she stopped contacting me after that day ,for a month i was very happy that i got rid of her ,i was really feeling comfortable but after 1 month i started missing her n suddenly called her 1 night n she picked up n everythng was back on track..this tym it would have happened again if i had not been dat desperate ....but still u never know feelings can come back at any time

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Originally Posted by Petit Papillon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You watch too many mexican telenovelas, for real...

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LOL! You crack me up.

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Originally Posted by Brokenapart [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

actually it happened to me couple of times that i got too much fed up of her problems thn she left me alone saying "if u love me u will come back" she stopped contacting me after that day ,for a month i was very happy that i got rid of her ,i was really feeling comfortable but after 1 month i started missing her n suddenly called her 1 night n she picked up n everythng was back on track..this tym it would have happened again if i had not been dat desperate ....but still u never know feelings can come back at any time

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I thought you said this was your first break up.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I thought you said this was your first break up.

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this was first breakup on her part the breakup we had before was done by me coz i got fed up of her but she was not acting lyk desperate (she use to cry alot alone but never showed me ,she was pretending to b a strong grl ,she told me this after we got back) and allowed me to move on ,i was happy in that 1 mnth i started to talk with couple of grls (only as a frnd) but thn i started missing her badly n one nyt called her n she talkd to me n v never talkd abt that breakup we had...we were acting lyk if nothing happened ...that breakup was almost 6 mnths ago

Then it's not your first break up, dude.

You've broken up and gotten back together before but now you've broken up for real. She's not coming back. Work on moving on.

His person reminds me of this song (btw it was intro to a mexican telenovela with the same title "Nunca te olvidare" - I will never forget you lol :D )
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