Oral Stimulation

First time posting here ...

Okay here goes:

There are times when I'm having sex with my boyfriend that I have the sudden urge just to go down on him BUT I can't because he doesn't like getting blowjobs. The thing with him is that in his past he used to get blowjobs from his ex and never really complained about it (but mind you he said she was a slut while they were together). He says now though that he doesn't want me to go down on him because it's something he doesn't want someone he really loves to do. But dude ... I like giving and I like receiving (he doesn't go down on me). What's up with it?

I know he says he doesn't want me to do it because blah blah blah he loves me BUT could there also be something else behind all this?

Someone who doesn't like oral (Holy ****) I loved giving and recieving oral.

I'm a good love maker, and know what to do in bed very well...but when it comes to not liking something...I have no clue what to do. Wait for somebody to come.

GIRLFRIEND you better figure something out!!

I for one loving giving oral and of course receiving. Its part of the process. I bet he just hangs on to issues from the past "slut".
Talk to him about it, let him you really want to please him and vice versa. Sex is important in a relationship, not the only thing, but if theres problems in the bedroom, problems will arise on the outside too! Someone isnt going to get the attention they want and will seek elsewhere to find it!!!

Clue his ass in!!!:)

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Originally posted by squirrley
Someone isnt going to get the attention they want and will seek elsewhere to find it!!

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I'm having that issue right now. I believe that oral is one of the important parts of all the sex and he's not giving it up nor taking it. LOL. He did it one time to me but it was for 20 seconds and I was left hanging there going "WTH?!". I went down on him only once also because I caught him at a "vulnerable" moment (hehe) and I know he enjoyed but before and after that happened he would always say that he wouldn't let me do it cause he loves me too much to let it happen. Erf.

I'm also thinking it's about the ex-girlfriend thing. She cheated on him while they were together, hence the "slut" factor. Maybe since she used to do that to him that it seems wrong that I would do that since I'm not labeled as a "slut" like her. I dunno.

I have alot of oral pleasure to give away but I can't cause he won't let me. It's all bottled up! LOL :horror:

yea you better talk to him. Tell him you understand the x factor, but your the current factor, and you have needs and wants that just arent getting met!

I truly feel sorry for you-wanting to give and get and getn NADDA!

If I were in your shoes I would so tell him.

i had some problems in oral with my current gf. my ex loved giving head and would try to do it to me whenever she had the chance to. i loved it. she loved swallowing, too, and she was all nice about it.

my current girl is all into receiving and barely ever thinks about doing something back to me. it's not that she doesn't want to, she just concentrates on getting pleased so much she forgets about me. i guess that is a little selfish. anyways, she would not let me come in her mouth and i kept asking when she'd start to blow me if i could come in her mouth and kept getting a definite "no" every time. after a while i told her i don't want her to give me bj's. i told her it just isn't worth it to get it built up only to have to think about stopping her in time and then spilling on your own stomache. it just takes everything out of it. and i told her i'd rather not have it at all than have to go through this. so now she does let me come in her mouth :goofy: and we're getting there.

i'm sure it had something to do with her past experiences.

What the h*ll is his problem. He is sorta like my ex she was all for the sex and giving oral but she wouldn't even let me touch her. Her pants always stayed on it was kinda depressing. I kinda felt as though i was taking and returning.

theres two types of people in this world.... those who like getting head and those who are liars.

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Originally posted by busgirl
theres two types of people in this world.... those who like getting head and those who are liars.

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And the third kind. I'm one of the third. The guy who GENUINELY doesn't enjoy getting head. Given the option between getting head and doing something else, I choose to do something else. It just doesn't really do that much to me. Not as much as a handjob, or boobjob, or other form or stimulation.

Alexi

But you've only recieved ONE head in your life..
Right..?

I honestly think bj's are kinda dumb... Yeah it may feel good ... but I'd rather not have one at all... And as for me giving oral... I'll do it if she asks... but I'd rather not... I really think that oral i not a part of love making but more a part of ****ing... Yeah, true that you may be giving out of love, but it is not an act of love to me...

Maybe I am just weird tho..

To each there own

Naw.. You ain't weird.. You have your own thoughts.

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Originally Posted by KawaiiSkYe

But you've only recieved ONE head in your life..
Right..?

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Right. But based on that experience, I would rather have something else done to me than get head. But I'd rather have head than NOTHING at all. And maybe someone else would be better. I don't know and won't know unless I find someone else that I want to get close enough to do stuff like that with. But as of right now, I don't really like it. My ex knew I didn't like it so she just did other stuff.

Alexi

Alexi

Alright then.

Alexi-whats the other stuff?

Ok-I get some guys dont get off on oral...but what other stuff do guys like then?

I would say here - but you all would laugh at me

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Originally Posted by squirrley

Alexi-whats the other stuff?

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Boob job, hand job, vaseline between the butt cheeks and humping up against that, lap dances (with undies on), ummm . . . that's pretty much what we sticked to for me. I like them all and they all worked nice.

Alexi

[EDIT]

PS - My favorite was the vaseline between the butt cheeks. I think because it's very close to doggy style and spooning (sex positions), felt GREAT, and so mentally I could connect them with sex easier than a boob job or handjob or anything else. (being a virgin I don't know what sex feels like, but that worked for me and mentally I could just imagine that it WAS doggy or spooning)

AHHH. WEll-thats what I was wondering...but HER doing things like that makes you feel good HOW? Its suppose to be about pleasuring you...but if vaseline between the butt cheeks work? I dont think I want to know anything else involved in that situation...lol

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Originally Posted by squirrley

AHHH. WEll-thats what I was wondering...but HER doing things like that makes you feel good HOW?

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Sexually. The same way "head" is supposed to make me feel. But the other stuff felt better. Head just felt 'wierd' to me. Not even really good. Just 'wierd'.

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Originally Posted by squirrley

Its suppose to be about pleasuring you...but if vaseline between the butt cheeks work? I dont think I want to know anything else involved in that situation...lol

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Is it really that wierd? I've heard some pretty damned wierd fetishes and shit that people do. So to me this is NOTHING (it's not like we had anal sex. I just rubbed up inbetween them and the slipperiness of the vaseline and the feeling of my body up against hers as I could caress her from behind worked for me. Worked VERY well.)

Alexi

I gotcha now! so little things I dont know...gotta learn and still am at my age...thats sad...but could be fun!

Guess I am always wanting to learn new things...hence the forum!!!

Question for alexi:

If you have stuck it between her cheeks with vaseline - then why dont you just go all the way ? Your right there...

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Originally Posted by Billy41684

Question for alexi:

If you have stuck it between her cheeks with vaseline - then why dont you just go all the way ? Your right there...

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lol! Yeah. THAT'D make my relationship with her better. Just say, "Ooops!" and slip it in, right? And what happens even IF I could've made her realize it was a mistake? THink I'd ever get to do THAT again until she's ready for sex? Nope. I'd have my favorite thing taken away from me.

Not that I never fantasized about it . . . but it was just a fantasy.

Alexi

maybe someday Alexi you'll get your chance to turn your fantasies into reality...

I sure hope so. As a matter of fact, that is the whole reason for the break that I'm on with my ex right now. I wanted them to become reality, but she wasn't ready so she called a break to figure out if she wants to do this with me or not.

Alexi

hmmm-give her the time-you respect and love her enough that its worth the wait for right now.

And when the time comes-the real thing is better than the fantasy...because you knew it was worth the wait...SHE was worth the wait. And I dont think you'll be even be able to comprehend how wonderful it really it is...you'll be in the state of "shock and awe" for days...it'll be worth it.

Im keeping my fingers crossed for you buddy!!!

lol! Thanks Squirrel! I'm giving her the space. It's a little frustrating because it is "space" and we're not fooling around or even cuddling like we used to, but as long as I think she's worth it, I'll hold out.

And you're right about not being able to comprehend. I think this is the #1 reason that I've waited so long already (we officially were a couple for about 13 months and still haven't had sex) and why I'm willing to wait longer. The fact is, "I don't know what I'm missing." If I did, I'm sure I'd have gotten frustrated much earlier and not have waited this long. But I don't. So it's a blessing in disguise that I'm a virgin.

Alexi

Im sure its frustrating at this point...going from what you were to nothing. Cause you already know what thats about. But you know intercourse is a huge step not to be taken lightly and you dont nor does she. You guys are smart in what youre doing right now.

I give you a ton of credit for respecting her wishes in this time. Not many men would stick around for the waiting period...youre a respectable man. When the time is right you two will know-and it will be more than you can imagine..even if its not with her ALexi-

Yeah. I'd like it to be her, but I don't know what's gonna happen. And another thing I hate is 'not knowing'. I have no idea what the outcome is going to be, NOR do I even know WHEN it'll be decided. I'm completely in the dark. And that sucks. But I'll stick with her until either she makes a decision or until I can't stand it anymore. Whichever comes first.

Alexi

PS - Looks like it's just you and me right now Squirrel. Pretty funny posting back to back over and over again!

Well Alexi you and I have discussed YOUR time in this and how much you can deal with in this situation. You will know when its the right time to leave or stay. Everyone has needs and wants...weve been down this road so wont go there again. But-youre a man of strength and a character and it shows. She must know it.


PS-yea that is funny didnt even notice til you said something-but apparently weve go things to say...

tit-f##king i kinda like.. :smug:

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Originally Posted by sfalexi

lol! Yeah. THAT'D make my relationship with her better. Just say, "Ooops!" and slip it in, right? And what happens even IF I could've made her realize it was a mistake? THink I'd ever get to do THAT again until she's ready for sex? Nope. I'd have my favorite thing taken away from me.

Not that I never fantasized about it . . . but it was just a fantasy.

Alexi

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Oh - I thought it was YOU that was holding back - I didn't realize she was the one...

Again I have spoken without thinking first...

Sorry

lol! No problem! I probably wasn't clear enough (scratch that, DEFINITELY wasn't clear enough. Otherwise you woulda known! My bad.)

Alexi

*sigh* This thread is making me miss having a bf.
What I like about giving oral is the guys reaction to it. When you totally blow his mind, (sorry for the wording lol), and he's putty in your hands, it's just such an amazing feeling. I, on the other hand, prefer hand stimulation. I wouldn't say no to oral, (I'm not THAT crazy), but there's just a little more pressure with hand stimulation that can get you to the point of no return. Plus with the guys mouth free, it's easy to explore other parts of the body while he's doing it...... ;) oh yeah......that's the stuff

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I, on the other hand, prefer hand stimulation. I wouldn't say no to oral, (I'm not THAT crazy), but there's just a little more pressure with hand stimulation that can get you to the point of no return.

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Ah. Now that's something I wouldn't have expected. Guess that just further proves that everyone prefers different forms of stimulation.

Alexi

I have to agree with breezy. I prefer hands more. not that i say no to oral either. I just have issues with it cause my ex asked me for it so darn much i grew to not like it for both ends. plus he sucked at it or liked to hold my head down.

oh Halla holding the head down is not cool! Id kick his ass. Thank goodness youre not with him anymore...

I like to do both-hands and oral...I like to freely kiss other areas while stroking it ya know...just eating him up like your favorite candy!! yummy....

i think you have to like giving oral or it brings the satisfaction down for your partner. Once you get to the know person its that much better to get more involved in what youre doing...finding out what they like or dont like-thats the fun part!! But mostly seeing how theyre enjoying it...kinda gives you the feeling of just wanting to do it more and better for them...

i LOVE both hand and oral ... I usually don't like cumming from either because I like to save it for the actual event ... but sometimes, if I'M (for some strange reason) not in the mood, a good head session will definitely work me up to serve...