Advice...overweight chic

There is a woman I flirt with time to time down the street, she is chunky (30 something, never married),......tonight we were talking and I blurted out , (it just slipped out) " you have a pretty face if you lost a few pounds, you would be really an attractive woman"
( immediately, I felt , oh no, I shouldn't of said that ...I know how sensitive overweight woman are)....we had been talking for sometime and she said, " I have to go in now".
Do you believe I could of offended her ?
And if I did, what can I say to re-connect with her . I like this girl alot, only there is no sexual attraction because
of the weight issue. Still, I would like to take her out. _ Tom

This is a duplicate thread but I'll ask you a question anyway:

Why do you flirt with her if you don't find her physically attractive? What is your motive?

I think it is strange that you ask the question....you never liked a woman for their personality?
My motive is to become close friends with her,.... sometimes an overweight woman, once she has a boyfriend loses all the weight ( that is not all that unusual). If she did lose weight, I think she would become sexually attractive to me. I knew a guy that lost over 100 lbs after he found a girlfriend. Overeating issues can be linked to emotional needs.

Son of a B. Not anything that you would say to a women and it was rude. If you like her for her personality then you would not pop up a comment about her weigth. That can do alot of damage to her self esteem. She may not then be losing weight for the right reason. If she was to lose weight, she should do it for her, not for anyone who said she should lose it. I hope she find someone who likes her for her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TSD [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think it is strange that you ask the question....you never liked a woman for their personality?
My motive is to become close friends with her,.... sometimes an overweight woman, once she has a boyfriend loses all the weight ( that is not all that unusual). If she did lose weight, I think she would become sexually attractive to me. I knew a guy that lost over 100 lbs after he found a girlfriend. Overeating issues can be linked to emotional needs.

---

What if she likes the way she looks, have you ever thought of that? Just because you think she needs to lose a few pounds, doesn't mean she has to. She may be very healthy, and very happy with the way she is. Here you are, telling her she isn't worthy unless she loses a few pounds.... The problem here isn't her weight, it's your opinion of it that is the problem. If you aren't attracted to her, why would you bother? It's not up to you to decide if she should lose weight or not, it's her choice. Even if she were morbidly obese and her health was of a concern, it is still not up to you to decide how she should live her life, or what she should look like.

OMG what have you done?? You hurt her feelings so bad. I hope she can forgive you and make friends with you again. I really don't know what to say here, i just feel so sorry for her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TSD [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think it is strange that you ask the question....you never liked a woman for their personality?

---

Yes... but I didn't try to change her into who I thought I would be more attracted to. I'm a woman btw however nor have I tried that with any male.

Quote:

---

My motive is to become close friends with her,....

---

You think telling her she's overweight is going to endear you with her? And why does she need to lose weight for you to be close friends.

Quote:

---

sometimes an overweight woman, once she has a boyfriend loses all the weight ( that is not all that unusual).

---

But I thought you just wanted to be good friends with her?

Quote:

---

If she did lose weight, I think she would become sexually attractive to me.

---

I don't think YOU would become sexually attractive to her though. You have the emotional intelligence of a flea. Emotional intelligence is a sexy part of a man.

Quote:

---

I knew a guy that lost over 100 lbs after he found a girlfriend. Overeating issues can be linked to emotional needs.

---

You think you can fulfill her emotional needs when you have so little understanding? Good luck with that.

I don't know.... I have often wanted to blurt out "you have such a handsome face, if you could only become mute, you would be an attractive man." Would that be bad? lol

First off, OP... No! Bad! Bad Dog!

It does not matter if you are being kind and flirty or honest and shallow, you DO NOT flirt with a lady by insulting her.

Second, to the rest of you ladies, the issue of weight isn't half as insulting as the shit you write us men off for. Unlike a person's Hairline, Height, or Penis size (still a proud virgin, so I haven't gotten that one yet), etc., a person still has some control over their Weight.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SuperHappyTime1 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Second, to the rest of you ladies, the issue of weight isn't half as insulting as the shit you write us men off for. Unlike a person's Hairline, Height, or Penis size (still a proud virgin, so I haven't gotten that one yet), etc., a person still has some control over their Weight.

---

Oh please. Men have been judging women for their physical attributes since the beginning of time. No one is immune.

You definitely did offend her! Weight is a touchy subject for anyone.

You said there's no sexual attraction between yourselves. Realise that you maybe messed up and move on. If there's no attraction, why do you feel the need to pursue her?

So, did she ever speak to you again? It's been a month, at least. Did she flip you off the next time you walked by?

tell: didn't want to offend you, you're quite pretty...

I ran into her and told her a long joke about God and an impossible wish " a man who wanted the wisdom to always say the right thing to a woman" ...to make it short God does not want to tackle that.
Anyway , she is talking to me again, we take walks around the neighborhood, I think she likes to escorted while she walks her dog...but I cannot get her to a commit to a date . ...I get stuff like , " I don't know you well enough"...."maybe after the holidays, I am busy with my sister."

Small steps, least you got her in your company again -- wait ( weight lmao) it out ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TSD [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I ran into her and told her a long joke about God and an impossible wish " a man who wanted the wisdom to always say the right thing to a woman" ...to make it short God does not want to tackle that.
Anyway , she is talking to me again, we take walks around the neighborhood, I think she likes to escorted while she walks her dog...but I cannot get her to a commit to a date . ...I get stuff like , " I don't know you well enough"...."maybe after the holidays, I am busy with my sister."

---

So are you saying you can't even pull a chick that you think is desperate due to her weight?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TSD [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I ran into her and told her a long joke about God and an impossible wish " a man who wanted the wisdom to always say the right thing to a woman" ...to make it short God does not want to tackle that.
Anyway , she is talking to me again, we take walks around the neighborhood, I think she likes to escorted while she walks her dog...but I cannot get her to a commit to a date . ...I get stuff like , " I don't know you well enough"...."maybe after the holidays, I am busy with my sister."

---

That's because she has zero interest in dating you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smarta$$ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't know.... I have often wanted to blurt out "you have such a handsome face, if you could only become mute, you would be an attractive man." Would that be bad? lol

---

I actually got things like this from women quite a lot in my younger years. I also had a tendency to assume it meant they desperately wanted to fukk me (I pretty much interpreted everything a woman ever said to me to mean "I wanna wreck your dick" when I was 21) and man did I get in some SHIT with the wrong people at times :shocked:

Deary me, Sir.

I guess time will tell. I also think it will depend on how insecure she is. I'm quite chunky myself but if you were to call me all the derivations of chunky it wouldn't bother me. I'm comfortable with my appearance. Just go on as normal. If it makes you feel uncomfortable discuss it with her - what is there to lose?

You might also want to ask yourself why you are asking a woman out that you aren't attracted to. And you can give all the spiel about personality you want to, but there always has to be some level of physical attraction involved, at least for a man anyway :)

The physical attraction is this, facially she resembles an old girlfriend and her voice even sounds like her. Same height , hair color as well
(being 21 years older than her does not help)l

I'd say let this girl be! And find someone who likes all of who she is. If you like her as a friend then keep it that way! Don't ask her out if you're only happy with part of her!