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Disregard the source - I know it's only a Cracked article, but it's excellent advice for anybody that says "How come I can never get a girl/boy, I'm a nice person."
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campai gn=new+article&wa_ibsrc=fanpage
LOL..........like they are going to listen.
I know, but what's it gonna hurt to try?
Try? they will never understand it or get it that's why.
."What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?"
No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day
I think this bit needs to be copied and pasted somewhere
I think uh... you just did.
haha. So I did.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I meant so that it could be frequently re-used as required.
I know, but I had to say it. :P
That article is nonsense. I'm attending business school and will have a fantastic job when I'm done. I wrote articles that appeared on the front page of the largest newspaper in my state. I went to one of the best schools in the country. I finished in the top 50 of a national championship road race. I have awesome hobbies and great friends. I have a novel and a book of short stories I'll be shopping around to agents.
None of that ever did anything to help me get a date with the many women who outright rejected me or blew me off.
Cue the female posters saying I'm whining. Whatever. It's truth. And it gets tiresome to read condescending articles like the Cracked one that are just trying to tear men down a peg.
The way to pick up women is to be tall and hot, make fun of women, treat them poorly, and generally act like a douche bag. Fortunately, there are still enough "nice guys" out there who won't stoop to those awful levels and make society worse than it already is.
^^^ While I don't agree with all the ideas expressed in the article, I agree with the general message, but I don't think that it should be directed only to men in order to attract women. Both genders could benefit equally from always trying to develop their qualities and finding ways to express them in an attempt to improve their lives and the lives of the others. This should have a positive effect on all relationships, imo.
Yep, that's right HDBadger. Be comfortable in your failure with women. Embrace it. Learn to love it.
David Wong (the author) is notoriously biased against men and in favor of women/matriarchy. If you read the article without the prejudice with which he deliberately coats his articles the message is exactly as you describe it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Valixy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I hope the women who read the article have the depth of perception that you do, otherwise they may read it and become more entitled and self-absorbed (to whatever extent a cracked.com article can have that effect anyway). It's a shame really, Wong would be a brilliant author if he were more objective and less biased.
There are men who lack self worth (doormat) and there are men who are self entitled...women want something in between.
Yes, but there are also women who lack self worth and others who are self entitled, and men too want someone who is more or less properly balanced.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Nice guys is the wrong term. It really should be weak guys. You can still be nice and not be a pushover. It's not just women, I don't even hang out with dudes with low value. I don't need to be around people who have nothing to offer. Most people only care about things that directly effect them, everything the above poster said was about him, how does any of that make me think you would be a good friend. It is the same with women, who wants to be around with someone that doesnt bring something to the table that interested him.
I also don't like that the article was aimed only at men. It works the same way for men and women. Nobody wants to be with a partner that is lazy, negative, depressing to be around.
That being said, I don't actually entirely agree with the message of the article. If a guy is a good, decent person, independent and with a positive outlook on life, I don't care if he has an amazing set of skills to dazzle me with. All that matters is that he is emotionally healthy, not mopey, can take care of himself. Who cares if he can play guitar? I'd much rather have a guy that is happy and satisfied with his job and his everyday life and is a genuine good guy, than a jerk with lots of hobbies and talents.
We all have areas in life in which we are more successful and everything seems to flow easily and others where we struggle a little bit. I know that you simply commented on the article and you're not looking for advice, but I would like to tell you not to get discouraged and continue discovering how you can improve your dating experience, trying different kinds of approach, communication, flirting, etc. that could suit your personality, but also learn to sell yourself, meaning presenting the many good qualites you have and you can be proud of in the best light because we all respond to good intelligent marketing :-)Quote:
Originally Posted by HDBadger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
My brother finished a 9 years relationship this year in January and had a bit of hard time to get back in the game. Then he tried online dating but that wasn't working either. One day I asked him to show me his profile and I told him that I didn't like it and that he needed to change a few things, for example add more photos, he only had one there and not a very good one and also to rewrite his description. We talked again a couple of months later when he got tired of being ignored and I convinced him to let me take pictures of him and I took that task very seriously, believe me :-) I took tens of pictures of him, in a wonderful park, in restaurants, charming squares, in front of emblematic monuments, wearing casual clothes, different suits, etc. I even applied a very very light make-up on his skin (which he hated!) and focused all the lights in the house on him for the profile picture. In the end we decided for 5 pictures and rewrote his description. In order to do that I read articles on line, looked at some online profiles and I adapted some of the lines I liked that fit my brother's personality and life style. Two weeks later he was chatting with lots of girls.The description was catchy and the most daring girls responded that way. The photo with his dog helped too and I suppose that the less daring girls found an easy way to strike a conversation complementing it. There's a girl he likes now and they are getting a bit serious. Hopefully it will all go super. Thing is that as soon as he got the girls' attention, he had no problems maintaining it. So, all he needed was a little bit of good marketing that did wonders :-D
What a bunch of crap.Quote:
Originally Posted by HDBadger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Going to business school isn't good enough. Start making good money then ask out those women again. The other stuff you mentioned isn't relevant. Unless, the women in question actually have interest in road race, literature, etc. It is not just about offering anything. It has to be relevant too.Quote:
Originally Posted by HDBadger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Agreed with you 100 percent. That was my point. Being a decent, well-rounded and interesting person does nothing to help a guy get women.Quote:
Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But if you are rich, and can offer her money, or look good, or have success/power, you're in.
To anyone else, I respect your opinions, but I don't agree with many of them. I base what I'm saying off of how I see men and women interact every day, and what I see works for guys to pick up women.
You don't have to be rich, or tall, but you do have to offer something that's interesting, which was the point of the article. Being a nice guy is the bare minimum. Rich guys can get away with not being nice... so if you're not rich, what're you going to do to be interesting to the opposite sex?
It's all bullshit. If women love your money, it doesn't mean they love you. Or do you love sponsoring someone for is f**ing someone else? Read Mind Power Seduction.Quote:
Originally Posted by HDBadger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I disagree that being interesting will get a guy a woman. I know of some exceedingly boring, vapid, and outright dumb guys, but they're tall, or good looking, or have money, so they get whatever women they want.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Conversely, I know of many exceptionally talented, bright, and confident men who can't get a date because they're average looking (and women have told these men they won't date them because they aren't up to snuff physically).
The point is, I disagree with the premise of the article. If a guy wants to get a date, he's better off spending money on clothes, or trying to earn more money, or getting ripped in the gym. Learning how to weave a basket or any other nonsense that might make him "interesting" isn't going to do squat.
It's not that complicated. People date based on attraction: physical and mental - though tastes vary and some people may place less importance on one, more on the other...but as a general rule, it's both.
Generally, if I'm attracted to a guy physically but he opens his mouth and I have to wonder whether he's retarded/illiterate/racist/an asshole, then the attraction is as good as gone.
If I'm not attracted to a guy physically but his personality blows me away...maybe, but it would depend on how unattracted to him I was. If he has man boobs bigger than Pamela Anderson's or is 5'5 and round, it's not going to happen.
After that stage, other things come into play: generally, compatibility.
As for wealth, hobbies, social status...those things don't factor. If they're rich, that's nice...but it's the 21st century...I have a career. So long as they're employed, motivated, good outlook, it's fine.
That depends on the girl and her standards. For me, being just rich isn't going to cut it. He should be physically attractive and also have a good personality. If he is boring, I can't take it.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Girls want everything nowadays. It is all about the whole package.
Millennials want to be rich, have everything – but don't want to work.Quote:
Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Amen. This is particularly evident with young women who are completely average. Look at fearoflove's post for an example.Quote:
Originally Posted by Agnus [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm different...I prefer a guy that has skills....someone that is handy and self sufficient. Short fat skinny or tall....I love them all.
I disagree. According to generation studies, generation Y value hard work just as much as older generations.Quote:
Originally Posted by Agnus [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Doesn't matter when average chicks have more dating success than average guys. There is more desperate men than desperate women.Quote:
Originally Posted by HDBadger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yea....like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills...hahahaQuote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Should I rephrase what I posted to "useful skills for everyday life?" Who cares if you can get to the highest level in call of duty or has the biggest belly button lint collection lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by okwhat2013 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You just quoted Anus - a troll. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by HDBadger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
None of those qualities really matter. A real quality is a genuinely good heart. And when someone likes you for that, you know they like you for you and not for your capabilities. Because at any moment, those capabilities could vanish.
That's the thing....the human race isn't finding that substantial enough for attraction. There has to be layers of things (substance) to attract, along with appearance. Attraction is more complex than just having a good heart.
Having a good heart is more complex then your apparent understanding of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
toknow is THE most annoying troll on the internet, EVER.
The person's qualities doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is if he/she loves/like/adores YOU. Ultimate Narcissist.Quote:
Originally Posted by toknow [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You don't think its important your SO have certain positive qualities so you can actually respect him/her?
Your loved one's heart and soul matters, their capabilities are temporary and unstable.
You love a person for their being. Not what they can do for you.
You love them being a miracle for existing in your world. You love them For not being someone else.
Like I said, the human race demands more.