Hi there,
More than curious about the topic. Why so many American men go for mail-order bride / international online dating? What's wrong with American girls or women?
Just curious. :detective
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Hi there,
More than curious about the topic. Why so many American men go for mail-order bride / international online dating? What's wrong with American girls or women?
Just curious. :detective
I've known two guys who had bought brides, both girls from the Philippines, actually. These guys were both so icky they would never have been able to attract a decent woman, but with some cash, they were both able to land good-looking women who were willing to stay with them for the seven years required to get their citizenship.
Those guys were, like, seriously bleeeaaahh.
Yup, I agree. Also, these men tend to be the ones who are unable to negotiate the complexities of American women, and seek foreign women as a way to acheive some level of power they wouldn't be able to command with a U.S. citizen. I don't think this is a reflection on American women at all, but rather a recflection on a man who actually believes he can buy love.
I'm not even sure they think they're buying love. I think simple gratitude will suffice for their purposes.
May I ask which are those complexities? I mean... I thought every single woman on earth was complex! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Being serious, ladies... don't you think you're minimizing men with those comments? I am imagining a shy nerd executive who could have never got laid unless he paid, no matter how much money he had! Is that the case? :nerd:
The shy nerd is unable to negotiate the complexities of interactions with women, so they buy them instead of earning their love.
Anyway Tedel, you said "so many American men", but I don't think it is all that common.
Haha look at the women point the finger at men and call them "icky"...I am a stud and am successful...I would order one if I felt like it. I don't care, the women here are boring as hell and don't know what they want them self. Maybe some guys don't care to play these GrScorp games and just want the girl to come in a box...does sound appealing to me.
OV, I have no doubt you would have totally agreed with me about these two.
The ickier one was really creepy. He worked on a cruise ship with me and he always had cold sweat running down the sides of his face. I mean, always.
Haven't you ever met someone that was just creepy and icky before?
I meet creepy and ugly people all the time. They all have girlfriends/boyfriends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Don't know about 'ordering' a bride, sounds too much like buying a slave to me, but I do know ppl who will only date girls from asian cultures.
The reasons I'm told is that, *on average*, these gals are harder working, more appreciative, value education & family, and tend to take better physical care of themselves. That, and the fact that a lot of asian men are assholes to women & marrying a 'white guy' is considered moving up. Provided they leave the country; some cultures can be pretty racist regarding mixed marriages (e.g. Japan).
FWIW
Indi has a mail-order husband.
So says the shy nerd. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Indi, I think there is a very big difference between buying a bride and preferring to date women from another culture.
I do, but they lost the damn package enroute and sent me this local replacement... I'm still trying to figure out how to get the damn mop handle holder working on this one!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
______________Quote:
Originally Posted by indireloaded
mm... I'm afraid I still don't get it. =S
That's because it is abnormal to BUY someone. Having a preference for a particular culture is one thing; buying tem is another.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tedel [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I swear, my mother is not a mail order bride!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I pretty much agree with everything Vashti said.
You may find this of some interest Tedel:
"Love me long time"
[ame="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7773634719578303561&hl=en"]"Love me long time"[/ame]
"A documentary on Tourists and their Thai girlfriends in a popular Thai resort." - 30 mins
Where? who?Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
personally i have never heard of anyone that has bought a mail order bride... damn times must be very hard for these fellows.
although.. i would probably buy one, **** her and then tell her, "opps, it was actually my friend that bought her" and proceed to show her to my ugly friends... oh so i wouldn't, but that would be funny... probably not to her, but i'd laugh.
raverboy
I wonder if you can get one with a gift receipt.
dammit, why didn't i think of that, then i wouldn't have the pull the "friend" routine. i can just get a refund or an exchange.
raverboy
Both of those guys worked on the American Hawaii cruise line with me in HI, Raver. Their wives were both really cool.Quote:
Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
i'm sure that most of these wives are really nice people. shit if you took my out of a life filled with poverty and extortion, i would also praise you forever.
raverboy
I live in Miami, where most women are extremely beautiful but their attitudes just don't match their looks at all. That's why I never really gotten into relationships. They're high-maintenance in a way here. Some are like bombs just waiting to self-destruct. Then again, maybe it's because I'm too nice or something lol.
When I was in Miami, most of the women were 85+ years old. To each their own, I suppose. :D
They probably do it because American women just aren't workng for them
I knew this one guy that ordered brides from over 9 different countries within the course of 2 years. He was building his own personal underground theme park complete with boat flumes and a hydraulic river. Part of the contract that these girls signed with him required their participation in his subterranean dreamscape - each girl would represent a different country so she needed to be able to sing "It's a Small World" in a unigue language...
Since most of the girls ended up being either Ukrainian or Thai, the dream never quite came to fruition. But it was a damn near splendid effort and one hell of a ride for a few days before the girls ran out of food.
i find it ironic that there's a chinese dating sponsor at the top of the forums.. anyone take notice of that?
raverboy
I see men buying women all the time... quite everywhere, actually. Women just are so buyable.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by bohemiandonut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
hahaha I don't know what you're on about, but f-ck that made me laugh
Yeah, probably it all boils down to just that.Quote:
Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
i wouldn't mind having a mail order husband...
i'd order 4 or 5. you know, in case i have company.
In some cases, as I've seen, these men are looking for more 'traditional' wives. Ones that will cook and clean and treat them like the 'man of the house'. There are a lot of insecure men out there that feel threatened by an independent woman that expects him to - god forbid - do his share around the household. I think it's a 'power' thing.
I know a LOT of Indian men that do this that are MY age even....they get their parents to fix them up a marriage to some poor country girl from back in India. They leave them at home to take care of their house, take care of their parents, and have their kids. Then they just go out and live their lives like bachelors. I'm really not kidding, I know a few like this. They say "Why would I marry a westernized girl? They just do what they want and don't know their duties." I found it friggin infuriating.
I think some people do it because it's easier. Because they want a girl from a culture where the traditional roles haven't been yet confused. They can just go about being a typical guy like their parents and their parents before that.
Though having said that my impression of "mail order bride industry" is of parasitic one. These "relationships" rarely actually work. As soon as the girl gets the citizenship she is ussually out the door to freedom. I've never, even once heard a true success story.
This is just another way of saying that the guy is too lazy to learn to grow into a new role, Mish. I hope that's what you meant.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
The same is likewise true for women who want to live out the Cinderella Fairytale, btw, and let the guy 'take care of her'.
Society evolves and we evolve with it. Sometimes painfully, but I believe its worth it. Beware anyone who is too lazy to grow.
Women are asked for a lot these days. A lot of men expect them to do the house chores and take care of the kids, but then the woman works a full-time job like the man. I'd be pretty pissed too
Men should be realistic, either expect for the woman to be a house wife and look after the kids and the house or her to continue work and someone else to look after all that.
Though often, that choice is not up to the men.
where is the option for a woman to just shut up and have sex when i want her to??
raverboy
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesummer [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This is dead on the mark from what I've seen. I only know one guy who actually bought a wife but I work with plenty of guys who've brought brides back from foriegn (mostly Asia-Pacific) lands, and this is how it goes. They are not icky or otherwise insecure guys either. They just have a specific role in mind for "wife" and American women don't fit it anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
And after being married twice and nearly married a third time, I've found that this is where I am now. I won't marry again because I'm unwilling to be a "good wife", and therefor will probably not get anymore offers. What I want is for my guy to buy (of fix) me dinner, make some clever comments, and give me a good tumble once a week or so. And for him to be satisfied with the same from me.
Oh, I guess I might have trouble with the "shutting-up" part.
yup, some people are never satisfied huh?? as long as i got a beer in my hand without my wife nagging me all the time then i'm all g.Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlight [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
raverboy