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I know that when a guy says a girl is hot or beautiful, he is attracted to her appearance. Or when a guy says "I think we should just be friends", it means he isn't attracted to her in a romantic sort of way. But can you decode this: "you are a good girl".
I think a "good girl" is the kind a guy wants to marry after he is done chasing "hot" girls.
You could. It's somewhat a way of a guy letting girls down easy if there was some interest from either party. He perhaps may have had a romantic interest initially...but then backed down after he saw something he didn't like.
Now guys will go two routes. He will maintain the friendship (having a girl to hang out with, do some activities, and ask advice), but it will likely not go further than that unless the one or both develop more feelings for each other...or completely want nothing to do with her any more and move on.
I agree with what vasthi said and it think it could also mean that he appreciates and respects the girl and would therefore not play games with her or hurt her thoughtlessly - like he might do with other girls he doesn't respect that much.
I would probably appreciate it more if a man tells me I am a good girl instead of saying I am hot. One does not exclude the other anyways
If he tells u that you're a good girl then that probably means he respects you, and also find you hot. But this thing can't be applied if he says you're hot.
"Good girl" is the same as "good dog", only for girls.
You've posted a lot of anti-woman comments lately.Quote:
Originally Posted by boobaa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Do you secretly crave cock?
No. Why do you care?
Maybe he's willing to give u one :P joking don't shoot
Im with Damn2008 on that.
I've been referred to as a "good girl," even though I tend to be rather perverse (derogatory terms really do not bother me much) and blunt (rarely do I lie) in conversation with close friends. I would have to think the term means that he shows respect for you... but doesn't really determine whether he has romantic feelings or you or not. It's just a compliment about your overall personality.
Most of my guy friends that wanted me romantically had asked me out... and those that didn't never asked me out. In either case... I was still referred to as being a 'good girl.'
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Originally Posted by boobaa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
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Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I doubt he can answer that right now if he is still in the 'confused/curious' phase. It's a long and arduous journey... but I wish him well... ;)
He is horny for you but you are not expressing yourself in a way that indicates that you are promiscuous. He likes you (or have a friend that's looking for a serious relationship) but knows you are not for "one night stand" type of entertainment. He will come back to you when he wants marriage or a serious long term relationship. If he pursues you then he wants you for marriage or a serious long term relationship. I will bet on it. :D
Good personality?Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
"Good" can also mean that you stay away from things that "bad" is associated with like drugs, getting drunk, promiscuous behavior.
A lot depends on the context. Can you give us the conversation where "you are a good girl" was said?
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Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sure. It was that guy who spoke badly about my ex who is also his friend. He said how he (my ex) didn't care about me and that I shouldn't waste my time on him. And how I was a "good girl".
Ok, my ex is an ass. I couldn't figure out if he was playing mind games with me or he was just plain uninterested. He acted pretty aloof to me when I was in a relationship with him. But forget about my ex...that was the past.
Now, this guy said that to me...and also by his actions, he seems interested in me. He asked me out and paid for it and always wanting to know more about me and cheers me up whenever I'm in a bad mood. So...I'm starting to fall for him. I really thought that I have finally found a person where the relationship is mutual. I thought "thank god he has the complete opposite personality of my ex".
But here's the weird thing. After I went out on a date with him which I would have to say was awkward and semi-boring. I think its because we were both nervous and the comfort just wasn't there yet. I can overlook that because that face to face comfort level can build. I know there is potential because we get along fine online and have got along in the past. It's just the pressure of being alone on a "date" that got to our heads...I think.
But I don't know what he is thinking now. He seems to be less available and more aloof recently. He's acting contrary to the type of person I thought he was and what attracted me in the first place. He's acting more and more like my aloof jackass ex. Maybe he thought there was no chemistry during the date and gives up after the first date OR he's playing mind games with me because he is insecure OR he's taking advantage of me because he thinks I'm a "good girl" and will fall all over for him. Which possibility do you think is more likely?
He probably is feeling guilty for dating a friend's ex.
Well...he should`ve thought about that BEFORE he asked me out. I assumed he has already made his decision after he talked badly about his friend and asked me out.
Also, I have asked him...if anything was bothering him and he said no.
Forget about all of that. You are wasting your time with the wrong man.
He could very well think the same thing you do...that the first date didn't go well and he failed to impress you because of the pressure of the date. Thus, he doesn't feel like you would even take him up on a second date and fears the rejection. He could very well be mentally and physically distancing himself because he doesn't want to devote more feelings to you.
IF THAT IS THE CASE and you feel a 2nd date might work off better...you may have to be the one to initiate that action in encouraging him to ask you again OR ask him YOURSELF. However, if you have been actively pursuing himself in contact and such, I find it odd he wouldn't jump to ask you out again.
Did you give off some signals that you were bored/uninterested during the date? Did he look the same or looked like he was struggling a bit? Anything else you can think of that could have put him off?
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Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Most men will say "no". There is something bothering him, he just won't tell you.
I think you should avoid dating friends of your ex.
You really think so? I love his personality and I totally thought we got along. Btw...I knew him more than 4 years (2 years before I met my ex). But for some reason...we never got beyond the flirting until now. I think its because we both liked someone else during that time (or at least I did).Quote:
Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If both of you thought the first date went so poorly that he is now avoiding you how is this good for any "future relationship"?
There was not enough good butterflies to overcome the awkwardness and continuing on dating despite that awkwardness.
Wouldn't he be so excited of spending time with you that he would call again for another date even if the first date was sort of awkward?
Ya...after he asked me out and after I said yes, I had to log offline so he told me to email him or call him about where to meet him and I said sure. Then...I emailed him like the night before the day we agreed on (which is kind of last minute but I`m terrible at making social plans). And then, I was 5 minutes late for the date but its only 5 minutes right? I apologized though. And after the date, I told him I had a good time and he said ``No, you didn`t``. Okay, I might have seemed a little bored during the date because the conversations didn`t flow like before (which I think the reason is the lack of comfort level).Quote:
Originally Posted by damn2008 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I tried to make up for all that after. I asked him if he was upset about the date and he said no. I tried to reassure him by telling him that comfort level needs to be build gradually. I even continue flirting like before. But that all failed to make him act normal again.
No need to analyze any further. I would not bother. You are wasting your time on the wrong man for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
And the "good girl" comment has nothing to do with this scenario. Stop analyzing.
But didn't you say that he is now reminding you more of your ex and contrary to the type of person you thought he was and that during the date there was little connection or chemistry?Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ya...I agree with you that avoidance is not a good way to build a relationship. But when we get along, its really...amazing.Quote:
Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
What I need to know is has the interest level died down (on his side).
We talk on msn because I rarely uses the phone (even though I have his number). Just the other night, I initiated a conversation he didn`t respond until I logged off. And tonight, when I logged on, he logged on but he doesn`t initiate conversations...so I didn`t either and talked to other people. He`s acting very strange.
Ya...thats what I thought he was. Now...in a couple of days...he has completely changed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So you don't love his personality anymore and you don't think the two of you are getting along?Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So..do you think this is only a temporary thing that can be overcomed with communication Or do you think if I continue with this, I would end up with someone who I will hate?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Online and messaging means nothing. Ha, I do that with the ex Most people are going to be friendly online. And most people can carry on good conversation online (and he is not doing that too well either).
You are not compatible, no connection, no sparks, no thrill, no excitement, and not enough chemistry to have a romantic relationship.
What do you want?
If you managed a relationship I think you would be setting yourself up for disappointment. It's up to you (and him).Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well, that's why I wanted to get an answer to that question to find out what you want. I really can't answer these questions for you because I'm not you.Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you love his personality regardless of seeing him change and become like your ex and you still think you get along even after the date went poorly then you can continue to try and hope for the best. If you no longer like his personality and think you no longer have chemistry then you should stop with him and look for someone else.
There is also that issue of dating a friend of the ex that Vash pointed out as well. It's usually looked down upon and subject to judgment from others. Although there are success stories that do occur out of these, they tend to be in minority compared to failures.
OMG. Then I will lonely for the rest of my life. I can`t carry on a conversation even with my friends for a continuous 2 hours either. (I`m not talking about online)Quote:
Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This makes me feel that you are scared of being lonely and might be overlooking certain things in order to combat loneliness. I know a lot of people guilty of that btw (I think most people are susceptible to it on some level), but it's something to keep in the back of your mind when making decisions. Don't let fear drive you into places you will regret. Instead combat loneliness by surrounding yourself with probable choices.Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Hehe I don't mean carry on a conversation for two hours. I would have a difficult time doing that as well. He is avoiding you it seems but when he does finally communicate with you it is rather plesant. That's what I meant. Most people will do that.
You need attraction to keep a relationship alive. He is not showing it. It doesn't seem like you are too attracted to him. Are you?