Making time vs having time, your definition

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30-01-11, 07:04 AM
MarsBars23

Making time vs having time, your definition

People tell me if this makes sense to you. I was talking to a girl about relationships, and she was telling me about her definition of making vs having time in a relationship. Her interpretation is this: she makes time for her family and friends. For example, she would make X amount of time out of her schedule to spend time or do something with/for the person she makes time for.

However, for a boyfriend or husband, or children whom she loves, she will always have time for that person, barring a few exceptions. For example, she said that if she has a job and her boyfriend, husband, and children said they want her to call off to talk to them, she would do that, or she would delay studying for a test if that person/persons whom she always have time for. However, she said that she would not always have time for them if its something she can't change: exam, studying for a test (at some point she has to make time for it and it won't change), and anything else she feels is mandatory...

Now my assessment of that is that it doesn't make much sense to me because of several reasons. First of all, this same girl would have a conversation with a boyfriend/husband on the phone and would start to other people while she's talking to him when other people is around, and sometimes he would tell her about tough things he went through/is going through and she would talk to someone else and then start talking to him, so she would just make him wait. That seems like she's not only sharing time with him with other people, but she's always making time for him as well, according to her logic. In addition, philosophically, if she "always have time," then wouldn't wouldn't everything be except that person/persons be mandatory...

What is your assessment of this?

EDIT: My question is that what do you guys think of "making time vs having" do you think there is a difference?
30-01-11, 07:06 AM
Emerald_Dreams

Sounds like rhetorical nonsense to me, honestly.
30-01-11, 07:12 AM
SelflessnHumble

My assessment is that: SHE IS RIGHT.
Before you and everyone else goes apeshit: ask yourself why she's right, and why the fact you disagree with her: is wrong!
30-01-11, 07:12 AM
xxazurexx

This girl obviously has nothing better to talk about and quite frankly her choice of topics to discuss would bore the tits off me...ZZZZzzzzz
30-01-11, 07:13 AM
Emerald_Dreams

Loons of a feather.
30-01-11, 07:20 AM
MarsBars23

Quote:

Originally Posted by SelflessnHumble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My assessment is that: SHE IS RIGHT.
Before you and everyone else goes apeshit: ask yourself why she's right, and why the fact you disagree with her: is wrong!

Why do you agree with her?
30-01-11, 07:22 AM
Emerald_Dreams

To AMOG, of course.
30-01-11, 07:33 AM
SelflessnHumble

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarsBars23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why do you agree with her?

It's conceivable that what she is doing *can* be perceived as wrong, right?
It stands to reason that the very FUNDAMENTAL purpose for this site is:

-Post problems in an attempt at humbly requesting the advice of a stranger on the internet
-Post responses to these poster's giving them the accounts of (OUR) own knowledge which is ALSO based upon another person's perception:

Which BTW, if you haven't figured out: IS subject to interpretation.
I ask you this: WHO gave YOU the authority to be right? Exactly.
You have the power to formulate an opinion based on what YOU perceive to be right or wrong...

Doesn't the girl (who you feel is wrong) TOO have the right to feel her opinion is just as equal? YES, she does.

Meaning: She is right because that is how she feels even though it's pretty selfish and phucked up...
Meaning: HE too is right (in how he feels) as does everyone: but where he goes wrong is when:
HE imposes HIS expectations onto another person. Make sense?
The physical manifestation of this fact: is in HIS choice(s) to act out these thoughts, not HER actions.

She has the right not to treat him good: he chooses to stay...because he's a fool, check.
So who is to B-lame here? Her, for being herself? OR him: for choosing to take it up the rear in the name of love
while she shits on everything he does or feels for her?

I bet you also blame the abusive spouse who hits his wife, yet the wife continues to stay? Riiiiiiiiiight.
30-01-11, 07:52 AM
MarsBars23

Quote:

Originally Posted by SelflessnHumble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's conceivable that what she is doing *can* be perceived as wrong, right?
It stands to reason that the very FUNDAMENTAL purpose for this site is:

-Post problems in an attempt at humbly requesting the advice of a stranger on the internet
-Post responses to these poster's giving them the accounts of (OUR) own knowledge which is ALSO based upon another person's perception:

Which BTW, if you haven't figured out: IS subject to interpretation.
I ask you this: WHO gave YOU the authority to be right? Exactly.
You have the power to formulate an opinion based on what YOU perceive to be right or wrong...

Doesn't the girl (who you feel is wrong) TOO have the right to feel her opinion is just as equal? YES, she does.

Meaning: She is right because that is how she feels even though it's pretty selfish and phucked up...
Meaning: HE too is right (in how he feels) as does everyone: but where he goes wrong is when:
HE imposes HIS expectations onto another person. Make sense?
The physical manifestation of this fact: is in HIS choice(s) to act out these thoughts, not HER actions.

She has the right not to treat him good: he chooses to stay...because he's a fool, check.
So who is to B-lame here? Her, for being herself? OR him: for choosing to take it up the rear in the name of love
while she shits on everything he does or feels for her?

I bet you also blame the abusive spouse who hits his wife, yet the wife continues to stay? Riiiiiiiiiight.

You misunderstand... I simply want your opinion on the topic. You said you think she's correct. I just thought what she was saying was kind of hypocritical because it seems like she really doesn't always have time... But my question was really about "making time vs having time," I don't really understand the difference... I think they're one in the same... But the woman thinks there is a difference, which I don't think there is, and actually in my opinion, it seems more like she shares time with her boyfriend/husband, not make/have time for him... Let me reiterate, I just wanted to know why you think she's right about the "making time vs. having time," not why she adheres to her very own rules and her treatment of her boyfriend/husband. I just used the treatment of her boyfriend/husband as an example that she disproves the very thing she is proclaiming, but I guess I should rephrase the question...
30-01-11, 07:56 AM
Emerald_Dreams

Seriously, I think she's just autistic.
30-01-11, 08:07 AM
MarsBars23

Yeah, I think she doesn't make much sense because of the hypocrisy... But do you think there is a difference between "making time" and "having time." I personally think they're one in the same...
30-01-11, 08:11 AM
Emerald_Dreams

Yeah there is a clear difference between "making" time and "having" time.

"Making" time is when you clear your schedule, postpone other things, for the sake of a priority.

"Having" time means spare time in your schedule that is not being used by anything else.

But seriously, I think the chick is autistic. Has she been diagnosed?
30-01-11, 09:15 AM
sweetkissesforu

way to much time on ones hands time for a hobby
30-01-11, 11:27 AM
MarsBars23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emerald_Dreams [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah there is a clear difference between "making" time and "having" time.

"Making" time is when you clear your schedule, postpone other things, for the sake of a priority.

"Having" time means spare time in your schedule that is not being used by anything else.

But seriously, I think the chick is autistic. Has she been diagnosed?

I don't know, but she is definitely different... I was just thinking about her statement and if people think that that is true. And if people think there is a difference when applied to relationships, you know... Like would someone say he is making time for his girlfriend or have time for his girlfriend?
30-01-11, 12:26 PM
sadie_genie

No need to make this so complicated. I think you just want to know if a girl loves you, would she put away everything in her life for you? Is that the question? My answer is that it depends on what you mean by love. Unconditional love or love provided by a sane person? I don't believe in unconditional love. Of course, she would put ahead of things that is important for her survival ahead of you or for people who she consider to be more important than you (yes, there are people in her life who may be more important than you). If she is smart girl, she would choose to study that test so she has a future. If she is a good person, she would choose her family (who probably sacrifice for her more than you ever did for her). You have to make a prudent judgment. If she has good reasons why she isn't giving you more attention, then you have to stop whining like a spoiled brat and consider things in her shoes.
31-01-11, 05:49 AM
MarsBars23

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadie_genie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No need to make this so complicated. I think you just want to know if a girl loves you, would she put away everything in her life for you? Is that the question? My answer is that it depends on what you mean by love. Unconditional love or love provided by a sane person? I don't believe in unconditional love. Of course, she would put ahead of things that is important for her survival ahead of you or for people who she consider to be more important than you (yes, there are people in her life who may be more important than you). If she is smart girl, she would choose to study that test so she has a future. If she is a good person, she would choose her family (who probably sacrifice for her more than you ever did for her). You have to make a prudent judgment. If she has good reasons why she isn't giving you more attention, then you have to stop whining like a spoiled brat and consider things in her shoes.

This isn't about me. What I'm saying is this:

1. She said that she thinks of a boyfriend/husband/children as people she always have time for, everything else are things she makes time for, that includes family, friends, work and school.. For example, if there's a test/work/etc, she would put that off to a later time (if it is possible) if the boyfriend/husband/children need something at that moment because she always have time for them... However, at some point she has to do the work, school, family, friends thing, but they come second to the boyfriend/husband/children... She would do that as soon as the needs of the boyfriend/husband/children are met or if she HAD to do it at that moment.

2. Now,BY HER LOGIC, NOT MINE, where I see the problem with that argument is that if she's on the phone with that guy and her FRIENDS, not family, are speaking with her, she would engage in conversation with them and put that guy on the back burner. This is the reason why I think that she does not "HAVE TIME" for this person, but she actually "SHARES TIME" and sometimes make time for that person, by her logic, not mine.

3. Now I made this thread to ask people why do they think about the "making time" vs "having time" for a boyfriend/husband/children because I didn't see much of a difference between the two. It just sounded confusing to me...

Now, let me reiterate, SHE THINKS that having time for a person is putting EVERYTHING second for the person/s who she loves UNLESS it was mandatory, you know, something she MUST do at some point. And I think her argument is hypocritical because of her actions, and I think the statement itself is invalid because it does not make much sense to me... This has nothing to do with me, and I'm not whining. I just wanted to know what people thought of the "making" vs "having" time argument.

Also, fyi, I do believe in unconditional love because I know for a fact that I would love my children, family, and best friend unconditionally. And I can't think of anyone who's a good person who would disagree with that... Now with boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses, I wouldn't know about that.
31-01-11, 11:27 PM
sadie_genie

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarsBars23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This isn't about me. What I'm saying is this:

1. She said that she thinks of a boyfriend/husband/children as people she always have time for, everything else are things she makes time for, that includes family, friends, work and school.. For example, if there's a test/work/etc, she would put that off to a later time (if it is possible) if the boyfriend/husband/children need something at that moment because she always have time for them... However, at some point she has to do the work, school, family, friends thing, but they come second to the boyfriend/husband/children... She would do that as soon as the needs of the boyfriend/husband/children are met or if she HAD to do it at that moment.

2. Now,BY HER LOGIC, NOT MINE, where I see the problem with that argument is that if she's on the phone with that guy and her FRIENDS, not family, are speaking with her, she would engage in conversation with them and put that guy on the back burner. This is the reason why I think that she does not "HAVE TIME" for this person, but she actually "SHARES TIME" and sometimes make time for that person, by her logic, not mine.

3. Now I made this thread to ask people why do they think about the "making time" vs "having time" for a boyfriend/husband/children because I didn't see much of a difference between the two. It just sounded confusing to me...

Now, let me reiterate, SHE THINKS that having time for a person is putting EVERYTHING second for the person/s who she loves UNLESS it was mandatory, you know, something she MUST do at some point. And I think her argument is hypocritical because of her actions, and I think the statement itself is invalid because it does not make much sense to me... This has nothing to do with me, and I'm not whining. I just wanted to know what people thought of the "making" vs "having" time argument.

Also, fyi, I do believe in unconditional love because I know for a fact that I would love my children, family, and best friend unconditionally. And I can't think of anyone who's a good person who would disagree with that... Now with boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses, I wouldn't know about that.

So, basically, she has promised you that she would put you ahead of her friends yet her actions doesn't show it? First of all, are you married to her? Unless she is married to you therefore her family would now include you, her, and your children, I don't see why she would make such a promise to put you ahead of everyone else.

But if you are married to her therefore there is a good reason she is putting you and the family she has with you as first priority, I still don't think a phone call (with her talking to her family while she is on the phone with you) is anything to fuss about. Ok, it is a bit disrespectful to talk to someone else while she is on the phone with you but she could be doing something important. Some people don't think it is a big deal and she probably didn't even know it bothers you. So, just tell her you feel disrespected when she does that.

Btw, a good person is a person with principles therefore would put principles (fairness, nobility, justice, etc) ahead of personal bias and yes, sometimes even love.
13-02-11, 12:52 AM
IGemini

I understand her definition. And I agree with it. The problem as you pointed out, for her and anyone else, it's much easier said than done.
13-02-11, 01:03 AM
SelflessnHumble

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarsBars23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But my question was really about "making time vs having time," I don't really understand the difference... I think they're one in the same...

Making time: Cutting corners here and there so the minutes add up in order to give a (lesser prioritized) *noun* (not of the highest priority) the time it may require.

It's like wanting and needing...Same thing.
When you need something (work to pay the bills) it's NOT the same as:
Working to buy that Nintendo Wii you want for yourself (want)

Necessity (or)
Optional...

Having time: Calculating time based on (in order of highest priority to lowest) giving EACH and every
*noun* its NEEDED (not wanted) time in order to satisfy, complete or give it the attention it requires.

The point is dude: Making time is called: Time management, however it should be noted that when you
"make" time you don't necessarily *HAVE* the time in order to make it (the noun) -------> happen...See the difference?

When you have time: you don't need to make time. It isn't the same thing, not even close.
I hope this helps you. The fact is: *I* think she doesn't want to make time for you in a way you find
satisfactory....but YOU see her making time for others and THIS is what bothers you the most. Right?

But the woman thinks there is a difference, which I don't think there is, and actually in my opinion, it seems more like she shares time with her boyfriend/husband, not make/have time for him... Let me reiterate, I just wanted to know why you think she's right about the "making time vs. having time," not why she adheres to her very own rules and her treatment of her boyfriend/husband. I just used the treatment of her boyfriend/husband as an example that she disproves the very thing she is proclaiming, but I guess I should rephrase the question...[/QUOTE]