Attempt to get back with GF of 4.5 years

Hello Everyone,

Long story short, my GF of 4.5 years ended our relationship after a small fight that triggered some thoughts that I no longer show enough affection for her. She is the type of person that requires contant emotional expressions of love by me and I guess I wasn't doing enough. We had a great relationship with some minor hiccups along the way, nothing major.

So, it's been a week since the break up and I have have ititiated no contact, I have not contacted her or vice versa. Now, I want her back!! Valentines Day is approaching and I'm thinking of breaking no contact by sending her roses (nothing major- by then it'll be two week of NC). Is this a good idea? I really want us to work things out since I'm willing to adjust to her needs and I dont want to screw things up. Are the roses a good idea? Pease HELP!!

I think so.. a week of no contact should suffice... or you can wait till after vday she may miss you more.. I think you should send her flowers... good idea

But what if she ended relationship so she could be with someone else? Is that impossible?

how often do rebounds work..

True, I'm sure she's working on getting over me right now by meeting other guys and I can deal with that. Heck, thats what girls do regardless if they're not over their ex or not. Who knows? I just want her back! I refuse to flush this relationship down the toilet if I know it can be fixed. I just hope she feels the same.

hey can you check out my post tell me what u think?

Darkhelmet82, I will check it out.

No contact is bad as she properly thinks you don't care! contact her now!

Roses will not work. You need to work out why your relationship did not work and a bunch of flowers will not address that problem. She sounds like a control freak to me

yeah i agree. I think you should forget valentines day and wait till Feb 16th or later. Being alone on Vday may forcer her hand. Although it may not. The thing is she broke up due to lack of affection... soooo flowers might actually work in this situation as well as contacting her before valentines.......

Ok, so she received the flowers after two weeks of NC. She sent me a text saying "Thank you for the roses. They are so beautiful"

Now what?? What should be the next move? I haven't replied yet.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ollie76 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ok, so she received the flowers after two weeks of NC. She sent me a text saying "Thank you for the roses. They are so beautiful"

Now what?? What should be the next move? I haven't replied yet.

---

Say, "You're welcome. Can I take you out for dinner tonight?"

well she would be a total bitch if she didnt even say thanks for the flowers even if she didnt want to get back with you BUT i think you guys will get back together... good luck.. let us know how it goes

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

well she would be a total bitch if she didnt even say thanks for the flowers

---

No, she wouldn't.

Well, not she if I played it right but we exchanged a few texts. I replied "you are welcome. I'm glad you like them. How are you?". Then, she replied "Eh, I'm okay I guess. I have my ups and downs. How are you?".

Me: "you are welcome. I'm glad you like them. How are you?"

Her: "Eh, I'm okay I guess. I have my ups and downs. How are you?".

Me: "I'm doing pretty good. Thanks for asking"

Thats it. I'm still debating on my next move. So mindboggling!!!!

She didn't react badly to the flowers, so it's possible that she's open to seeing you. Keep up the momentum. Ask her out within the next 24 hours for a nice date on Saturday or whenever. But do it soon.

Ha, I already did. I asked if she would like grab coffee or something this evening but she has class until 10:30pm (which I totally forgot). She thanked me for the invite but mentioned she had class. So, I just left her with "Oh yeah, that's right. Whenever you're available I guess, but only if you're up for it."

Now, i just found out that my best friends EX is consulting/comforting/supporting my EX through this whole thing. As a matter of fact, she is my goddaughter's mother and I wonder who's side she is on. LOL She just ended a 9 year relationship with my best friend (he cheated on her badly) and had a pretty hard time. She's all about "all men are jerks" shit.

Hmmm, I bet she's been talking to her female friend for a while about the two of you. Maybe the "all men are jerks" attitude had something to do with the breakup. You did say it was only a small fight, so clearly your ex was thinking about breaking it off already. So if the reason she gave is that you're not affectionate anymore, and she liked the roses, I believe some more romantic gestures could help. Show her friend that YOU aren't like your best friend. Who knows, maybe your ex's friend is even telling her that less affection was the first sign of trouble with her OWN ex, and she'd better get out before she really gets hurt. Women have these little heart-to-hearts a lot, and they have a lot of influence. It's kiinda like she's got a little person sitting on her shoulder, whispering in her ear all the time, "he's a jerk, dump him!" You need to be the other little person, whispering even louder in the other ear, "he's an angel, keep him!", and then give her plenty of reasons to believe that! How about following up the roses with a card or letter in which you list all the reasons you think she's wonderful. Be specific, personal, and very romantic.

I don't know, maybe the best thing is to go NC until she contacts me (which probably won't happen). It's just too hard to let go after 4.5 years. I think her response to my VDAY flowers was just her being civil and that she doesn't want me to think she hates me.