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Multiple women have said im confusing and come off as kind of abrasive and rude. I feel being the shy type i dont show lots of emotion and tend to confuse people. what can i do now with the most recent girl i like that told me i confuse her and now she pretty much rarely talks to me and gives very short and kurt text responses? Any ideas on how to talk to her about this or fix w/e it is that is causing her to not be interested? by the way the other girls who have told me this dont matter
Well first off congrats...you are getting their attention! Next step is to flirt and do a little teasing.....before you know it they will be all over you.
well ya i got her attention but not good attention anymore as she seems halfway not interested. any ideas on how to rekindle interest?Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Do you know what it is you do that is abrasive and rude?
If you know exactly what she's talking about and are willing to not be that way any more, you could apologize for offending her and tell her you understand why she reacted that way and that you'll make it up to her by taking her to a nice dinner so you can show her what a perfect gentleman you can be or some other cutesy nonsense.
i mean its my shyness that kinda comes off as being rude. Ive gone on a date before and this happened about a month ago and we havent been out since.She is now very kurt and short and usually has excused when i ask to hang out. but she did say ya defenietly when i said we need to hang out soon. I havent talked to her in 2 weeks and i honestly have no idea what to text her or ask her out again or what and i feel a month after is too late to apologize for it epeically hwnei already have.
You are not getting it. You got noticed. She isn't saying you are being bad, she actually means you are not giving her special attention! There's this method called the push and pull. You give her some acknowledgement by smiling shyly at her and looking away or giving her a wink if you catch her looking at you. Small quick doses of friendly attention. Make a joke or tease her harmlessly....try to be a bit funny. You have to show some kind of interest and you can do that just by what I told you. How you perform is up to you. You will just have to learn how to work it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanderini [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Dude it's never too late to turn things around if she had some interest in you.
well obviously she has some intrest. i mean we've hooked up twice been on a date etc... last time i randomly saw her at an event we didnt talk much. I mean i dont even at this point know what to text her since it would be kinda random since i havent talked to her in 2 weeks. so i mean idk if i should ask her out again again or ask how she's been etc....Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ya ask her how she is doing or what she's been up to....whatever just make contact.
Is it not obvious what you should be doing?
the issue with this is i very very rarely see her which makes it much harder. I actually have to arrange to see her. like i said the last time was little odd and it was basically hi and bye because i was too shyQuote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
will do. I just hope its not bothering her because when ive done this previously she is very short whereas she didnt used to be . so we shall see what the response is.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I know a lot of shy people who manage not to be rude. Shyness in itself is not rude. That you're refusing to acknowledge or explain what you did that was rude doesn't help much. You asked what you could do to fix whatever it is that caused her disinterest, so if you don't know what it was and we don't know what it was, how will that help you? Just spill it, already.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanderini [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
well i dont think there is much way to fix w/e it is because ive already apologized to her. What im wondering is if and how i should go about contacting her again knowing that she is confused by me she did not say i was rude but another girl unrelated to her has said that i come off as rude and confusing. basically what i want to know is what is a good way to contact to her/start conversation considering we havent talked in 2 weeks and whether it is worth asking her again since she always seems to be busy but said that we should hang out.Quote:
Originally Posted by MerryH [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So something did happen (tell us the story, jeez.) And you acknowledged it and apologized, but she still doesn't seem interested in talking to you. And you've been asking her to hang out and she says no. And you haven't contacted her in two weeks. I think that's a pretty good sign she doesn't want to have much to do with you. But go for it, call her up and be friendly and ask how she's doing. Chat it up. Then ask if she's free for dinner over the weekend. If she says no, see if she's available another time. If no, then you have exhausted all reasonable attempts and need to move on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanderini [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
thats my plan. Basically i said we should hang out and she said yes definetly and when i ask her she has some type of excuse as to why she cant. One time was legit and the other time was basically just saying no. so im quite confused on how to move forwardQuote:
Originally Posted by MerryH [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You're still confused? More than one person has told you to call her. I'm getting the impression you want someone to tell you some sort of magical spell that will hypnotize her into not rejecting you, or something. That's not going to happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanderini [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well if she's not budging, like the other poster said time to move on. There are some girls that just won't give a guy a second chance.
no im not confused and obviously understand that.Quote:
Originally Posted by MerryH [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
and im guessing this is the likely scenarioQuote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
so update i have contacted the said girl any insight to this . I was planning to go out tonight so ia sked what she was up to tonight she responded with i have work tomorrow and then i got sidetracked and then she texted why and i said was wondering if you wanted to go to a party at xyz but idk if im going anymore and i got no response. did i blow it or doesn it seem she is not interested at all?
give it some time maybe she's busy or something! obviously she asked "why" because she wanted to know if you were gonna ask her to hang out
well obviously but i mean its been over 1.5 hours so i guess thats not good. would it be bad to text back later on asking to hang out this weekend if shes not too busy?Quote:
Originally Posted by ashley89 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
sure why not?
It's not looking good. She jumped at your question with "I've go work tomorrow". She's already turning you down before you even invited her out. She is going to keep turning you down....you didn't blow it, she wants nothing to do with you anyways.
what im wondering about is why she would text me again when i didnt even respond inquiring as to why i was asking? im thinking your exact thoughts as to her feelings but maybe she didnt respond because i said that i dont know if im going. do you see any harm in asking her to hang out another time?Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It was kind of redundant of her to even ask because she already know what you were fishing for....I guess she wanted her hunch confirmed.
In her head she was probably thinking :"I knew it! when will he ever give up? "
Fill your boots.....just how many more turn downs will it take?Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanderini [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
she actually did respond several hours later and i asked her to hang out this weekend she said she was down but would be out of town which i actually know is legit as a know she leaves for the weekends on a regular basis so idkQuote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
The thing is that you are low on her priority list. Make a determination when you finally get to physically spend time together then we will talk.
Careful there. Don't assume your shyness is the culprit of perceived kurtness/rudeness.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zanderini [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm not shy myself, I'm anti-social. I can be very social, polite, etc. I can also be incredibly kurt and distant.
So much so that people are actually uncomfortable around me.
There's alot more than what you say (or don't). How you say it. The tone. The words you use. How you stand or sit. How you look at them, or your suroundings.
Usually shy people give a 'shy' vibe. People generally can tell they are uncomfortable and unsure, and it's -usually- not interpreted as kurt or rude.
If you are good at making eye contact, but you are shy socially, I could see that as being confused for being kurt or rude, but not much else to do with being shy.
I mean first i need to find a way to see her. that is the issue is i wont see her unless we go out on a date or something. But i agree if i see her a detirmination will be very easy and i wouldnt be in this position. I also agree i am not the highest thing on her list of things to doQuote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]