Are religions become obstacles in relationship ?

Hi,

I'm new here. Nice to meet u all.
So, I'm buddhist and my gf is catholic.
The truth is I don't really put religion as my whole life. But, my gf is otherwise. She is a loyal catholic.
Problems :
1. In indonesia, if u married someone then u r married with the whole family.
Coz, if the family doesn't agree then u can't be blessed.

My parents doesn't like her 'coz her religion.

2. She wants me to change my religion to catholic.
Coz she thinks that if she married to non catholic then she can't eat sacramental bread.
Which I recently know that it's ok to married non catholic as long as we married on the church then she still can et sacramental bread. I haven't tell her about this, I'm waiting the right moment.

The 1st problem, I talked and talked to my parents until they become a little bit soft.
The 2nd problem, well I don't really mind changing religion 'coz in my point of view, I'm a open minded person and religion doesn't bother me. But, to change religion 'coz some false information then I don't wanna.
I promised her to study catholic, but to believe in catholic 100% I think it's impossible.
I don't even 100% believe in Buddha.
U see I don't believe anything magics until I see it with my own eyes. Buddha and Catholic offer some magic.
Like in Buddha, when Siddhartha Gautama born, he walked on the surface of the water.
In Catholic, Jesus gave some breads to many many people around him.

Also, I parents doesn't agree if me changing religion coz :
1. If I change religion then it means me has lower position then my gf. And it's no good, 'coz men can't be lower position than girl. Coz later on, my parents afraid that I will get ordered around by my wife. Some kind of relationship politics.

2. My parents think that catholic's religion is like hypnotism. Coz, if u in too deep in catholic then ur point of view is screwed and can't see the reality anymore.
In buddhist, if u in too deep then... well u become monks.

What my parents trying to say that, we can't take our religion as number 1 priority in life. Coz religion can't provide rice on the table.
I can't really explain, I hope u understand what my parents trying to say.


Indonesia is a religious country, coz u can't be atheist in Indonesia. We have 6 religions : Islam, Catholic, Protestant, Buddha, Hindu, and Confucius.
Even in our ID, we need to put our religion inside.
So, religion is always become obstables in relationship.

I wonder if religions become obstacles in Europe, America, or other countries.


Thanks in advance.

Regards,

If people can't deal with the obstacles that differing religions may face, then don't get involved outside of your own religion....simples!

And converting and simply because someone asks you too (to keep the peace), is the wrong reason to convert.

Converting because you believe, is the 'right' reason.

She probably won't be allowed to marry you, even if he parents consent. I don't think the Catholic church will allow it.

And to answer your final question, yes. Religious differences interfere with relationships in America, but with much less frequency since so many people don't fully embrace religion.

The Catholic church will allow you to mary a buddhist. You can marry anyone.

I'm catholic right, my whole family is ... My cousin married a muslim, in church ...Catholic church ;) You can ask for a special permission, but catholic church allows it ,we don't believe in forcing our religion on people who don't want to be catholic ... ;)

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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The Catholic church will allow you to mary a buddhist. You can marry anyone.

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Ahh, you are correct, but I see this sort of marriage is labeled "non-sacramental". What does that mean?

I don't know, never heard of it

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ahh, you are correct, but I see this sort of marriage is labeled "non-sacramental". What does that mean?

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You can have a sacramental marriage with someone from other religion . A priest will be happy that someone wants to stay catholic even if they marry some non-catholic .You could be surprised but catholic church can be pretty conciliatory. So many people want to quit the church nowadays that they are happy to keep every "sheep" they can ;) Of course there are exceptions ... Like everywhere

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Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If people can't deal with the obstacles that differing religions may face, then don't get involved outside of your own religion....simples!

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It's not that simple. A great deal of folks end up falling in love despite their differences, including religion... and it eventually becomes a problem because of family and peers. Telling those people to just "don't get involved" is like telling them to eat shit, you know? Have a little respect.

So, religious matters aren't the only conflicts in relationships. For some people, even different tastes in music can cause a problem. My GF and I are pretty similar, except she has some [what I consider] really weird views about eating meat, protecting animals and saving the world, and all that shit. Every now and then we get into the same endless debate over that stuff, but it really doesn't matter. There is more to love than what you eat, or what god you believe in, and whether you like Baroque or Avant-garde. I know that, unfortunately, when families get involved, it never ends in a good way for the couple. Some couples go out and get married anyway and just deal with their peers' disapproval and others eventually break up from the stress.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's not that simple. A great deal of folks end up falling in love despite their differences, including religion... and it eventually becomes a problem because of family and peers. Telling those people to just "don't get involved" is like telling them to eat shit, you know? Have a little respect.

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Well it's choosing to follow the heart rather than the head isn't it? And at the end of the day, we all have a choice. We can choose whether to get involved or not.

People fall in love with married people and every day - most make a 'choice' not to go there and because of the consequences that arise.

I've been in one of these relationships Dopp....I know what they are like. And if I had to turn back the clock, I'd have used my 'brain'

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Originally Posted by Petit Papillon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm catholic right, my whole family is ... My cousin married a muslim, in church ...Catholic church ;) You can ask for a special permission, but catholic church allows it ,we don't believe in forcing our religion on people who don't want to be catholic ... ;)

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He couldn't have been that strict a Muslim, lol

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Originally Posted by c4hyadi [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi,

I'm new here. Nice to meet u all.
So, I'm buddhist and my gf is catholic.
The truth is I don't really put religion as my whole life. But, my gf is otherwise. She is a loyal catholic.
Problems :
1. In indonesia, if u married someone then u r married with the whole family.
Coz, if the family doesn't agree then u can't be blessed.

My parents doesn't like her 'coz her religion.

2. She wants me to change my religion to catholic.
Coz she thinks that if she married to non catholic then she can't eat sacramental bread.
Which I recently know that it's ok to married non catholic as long as we married on the church then she still can et sacramental bread. I haven't tell her about this, I'm waiting the right moment.

The 1st problem, I talked and talked to my parents until they become a little bit soft.
The 2nd problem, well I don't really mind changing religion 'coz in my point of view, I'm a open minded person and religion doesn't bother me. But, to change religion 'coz some false information then I don't wanna.
I promised her to study catholic, but to believe in catholic 100% I think it's impossible.
I don't even 100% believe in Buddha.
U see I don't believe anything magics until I see it with my own eyes. Buddha and Catholic offer some magic.
Like in Buddha, when Siddhartha Gautama born, he walked on the surface of the water.
In Catholic, Jesus gave some breads to many many people around him.

Also, I parents doesn't agree if me changing religion coz :
1. If I change religion then it means me has lower position then my gf. And it's no good, 'coz men can't be lower position than girl. Coz later on, my parents afraid that I will get ordered around by my wife. Some kind of relationship politics.

2. My parents think that catholic's religion is like hypnotism. Coz, if u in too deep in catholic then ur point of view is screwed and can't see the reality anymore.
In buddhist, if u in too deep then... well u become monks.

What my parents trying to say that, we can't take our religion as number 1 priority in life. Coz religion can't provide rice on the table.
I can't really explain, I hope u understand what my parents trying to say.


Indonesia is a religious country, coz u can't be atheist in Indonesia. We have 6 religions : Islam, Catholic, Protestant, Buddha, Hindu, and Confucius.
Even in our ID, we need to put our religion inside.
So, religion is always become obstables in relationship.

I wonder if religions become obstacles in Europe, America, or other countries.


Thanks in advance.

Regards,

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The obvious answer is that ALL RELIGION: divide and enslave people so YES, you are going to have problems.

If she is a little girl that allows her parents to dictate her life: she is not mature enough to have a relationship.
If YOU cannot respect her religion? Then you will reap what you sow.


Now, imagine a world without "Religion" and I will show you a world without STUPID and pointless wars/mass genocide/death.

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Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He couldn't have been that strict a Muslim, lol

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No he isn't indeed lol :D He asked my father to paint him .. Mahomet ;)

Well oficially he is Muslim, but he's albanian Muslim, they are weird . They drink alcohol, but don't eat pork... And they actually are Muslims just when it's comfortable to be one...

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Originally Posted by Petit Papillon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No he isn't indeed lol :D He asked my father to paint him .. Mahomet ;)

Well oficially he is Muslim, but he's albanian Muslim, they are weird . They drink alcohol, but don't eat pork... And they actually are Muslims just when it's comfortable to be one...

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That is true, lol

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Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well it's choosing to follow the heart rather than the head isn't it? And at the end of the day, we all have a choice. We can choose whether to get involved or not.

People fall in love with married people and every day - most make a 'choice' not to go there and because of the consequences that arise.

I've been in one of these relationships Dopp....I know what they are like. And if I had to turn back the clock, I'd have used my 'brain'

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Falling in love with a person of another faith and falling in love with a person who is married are two completely different things. How can you classify them together like that?

Once again, a case of religion causing conflict.

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Originally Posted by bloodtippedrose [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Once again, a case of religion causing conflict.

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Actually, I think it would be better to label this as "religious intolerance causing conflict".

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Falling in love with a person of another faith and falling in love with a person who is married are two completely different things. How can you classify them together like that?

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Because it's still 'falling in love'.....just under differing circumstances.

Like I said, we always have a choice as to whether to pursue it or not.

@xxazurexx
u r correct.. but to pursue it or not, I need opinions and advices from u guys. Not just blunt advice like 'to pursue or not'.. everyone know it already.

Thanks everyone for the opinions and advices.. Now I know what to do, I'll study catholic and while doing that, I'm gonna ask the priest about this problem.
Truly thankful..

Regards,

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Originally Posted by c4hyadi [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I need opinions and advices from u guys. Not just blunt advice like 'to pursue or not'

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You need opinions? k:
Your parents are evil, jealous and inherently selfish people because they
don't like your girl YOU have chosen to marry strictly because she CHOOSES to believe something different than you/your family.

I can tell you that God would shit on your intolerant family and wouldn't allow you nor them to enter the Kingdom of heaven.

You: lack the balls to tell your family you WILL marry her with or without their blessing because you're a coward. All in the name of what? Religion?

God doesn't give a shit who you marry, just as long as you uphold his commandments, put him first, and love people.

You want advice? K:

Be a follower, a nancy, a lady boy who needs to be told how to think, who to love
and how to live just to make: Your parents happy.

Honestly your girl deserves someone better.
Who's going to stand up for your relationship/love and what you supposedly have together. Not some wimpy boy who bows to what OTHERS want and expect of him.

Weak.


Your parents are biased, ignorant, selfish, controlling and use Religion to control
and enslave you. She deserves better.


And about faith: it doesn't come with facts and empirical data.
Faith is strictly BELIEF.

If you don't blindly believe: it means you have a brain that is able to think for yourself.
Which is a good thing. She was brainwashed to be Catholic, so it's not her fault as a child to be indoctrinated with such hypocritical nonsense.

However it's her choice.
Either respect it? Or move on and get with a girl who has your same faith
as long as mommy and daddy approve of her first.

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Your parents are evil, jealous and inherently selfish people because they
don't like your girl YOU have chosen to marry strictly because she CHOOSES to believe something different than you/your family.
I can tell you that God would shit on your intolerant family and wouldn't allow you nor them to enter the Kingdom of heaven.
You: lack the balls to tell your family you WILL marry her with or without their blessing because you're a coward. All in the name of what? Religion?
God doesn't give a shit who you marry, just as long as you uphold his commandments, put him first, and love people.

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Dude, please calm down...
I don't know about this, maybe different cultures. In my cultures, blessing from parents are everything.
We need to respect our parents even though they were wrong.. Because they are our parents who gave birth to us and who provide foods, shelter, love to us until we grow up.

Hmm... did I ask opinion to God?

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Be a follower, a nancy, a lady boy who needs to be told how to think, who to love
and how to live just to make: Your parents happy.

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I'm 100% agree with u. Russel Peters said "I wouldn't even want my mom to pick my cloths. And she wants to pick my wives".. wkwkwk...

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Honestly your girl deserves someone better.
Who's going to stand up for your relationship/love and what you supposedly have together. Not some wimpy boy who bows to what OTHERS want and expect of him.

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If I she make me choose between her over my parents, then she is not for me. I deserve someone better. ;p...
If I don't choose my parents over her then :
1. In relationship, I will be and need to be obedient to her. My level will be below her.
2. As a child from my parents, I will go straight to hell because I choose someone I just know then someone I knew from the 1st time I open my eyes to this world.
3. How can I protect her if I can't even protect my own parents.
4. In the end, she will think that I'm a low life that is not deserved to be with her. Coz I don't choose my parents.

That OTHERS that u mentioned is parents dude.. not some random people u simply ignored...

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And about faith: it doesn't come with facts and empirical data.
Faith is strictly BELIEF.

If you don't blindly believe: it means you have a brain that is able to think for yourself.
Which is a good thing. She was brainwashed to be Catholic, so it's not her fault as a child to be indoctrinated with such hypocritical nonsense.

However it's her choice.
Either respect it? Or move on and get with a girl who has your same faith
as long as mommy and daddy approve of her first.

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Finally some good advices.. ^^

Thanks dude ^^

yet another reason why I hate religions... You should not do anything you don't believe in... and if you don't believe why even join a religion? Because you love this girl? If religion is so important why did she get with you in the first place? I met a beautiful Jewish girl once who was not one of those extreme ones but still needs to be with a jewish guy. We really liked each other and went on a few dates and stuff but it would never work because I was not jewish... I don't get it... That's just me though

Religions are not for make us, humans, divided. But, humans use the religions to divided themself.

Religious differences often mask bigger issues--namely, cultural differences. I don't have a problem with Baptists, but there's an underlying culture that I don't gel with. For instance, I'm not a "stiff-necked, pancake and bacon eating, family diner post church" type of a guy. Hell, I don't even drool over sticky buns, apple turnovers, or mashed potatoes. But, go to certain places and that's the trough-slop d-jour.

Another example: I date a diverse group of women. African American woman who is a Catholic versus an African American woman who is a Protestant? Huge difference. Give me the Catholic any day. And why's that? Because there is a cultural difference that goes beyond race that is the real place where division between people can occur. Nothing to do with religion per se, nothing to do with race either.

And, I'm not even Catholic.

Religion is a hoax. There is no such thing as God. If there is then he would've answered my prayers by now.

But there are still idiots out there who does believe in religion and let it control their lives.

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Originally Posted by sadie_genie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Religion is a hoax. There is no such thing as God. If there is then he would've answered my prayers by now.

But there are still idiots out there who does believe in religion and let it control their lives.

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How many have said the same thing? Namely, god doesn't exist because he doesn't serve my will? I think the idea of religion (at least Judeo-Christianity) is that we serve god's will.

There are two groups of idiots: the idiots who think that just because they go through the motions of religion that they are saved. Then there are the idiots who think that god doesn't exist because he doesn't do what they want.

I believe in god and have experienced an intense religious experience, a truly beautiful experience. What I discovered is that god speaks very quietly and one has to be prepared to listen. He says very little but the meaning is rich. That moment was one of the quietest moments in my life--I was on a retreat and there was absolutely no talking allowed for four days, just in your own thoughts and in your own heart and mind. In my state of solitude and in my own contemplation, three words were "spoken" within my heart. It turns out that those three words were not something I had thought before and when I looked them up, it turned out that they had deep meaning and helped me to understand my purpose in life.

That being said, I'm not a religious fanatic--fanatics of any type are idiots.

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Originally Posted by CAM [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It turns out that those three words were not something I had thought before and when I looked them up, it turned out that they had deep meaning and helped me to understand my purpose in life.

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Can u share with us those 3 words.. I'm kinda curious. And it might help me too. Thanks..

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Originally Posted by CAM [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How many have said the same thing? Namely, god doesn't exist because he doesn't serve my will? I think the idea of religion (at least Judeo-Christianity) is that we serve god's will.

There are two groups of idiots: the idiots who think that just because they go through the motions of religion that they are saved. Then there are the idiots who think that god doesn't exist because he doesn't do what they want.

I believe in god and have experienced an intense religious experience, a truly beautiful experience. What I discovered is that god speaks very quietly and one has to be prepared to listen. He says very little but the meaning is rich. That moment was one of the quietest moments in my life--I was on a retreat and there was absolutely no talking allowed for four days, just in your own thoughts and in your own heart and mind. In my state of solitude and in my own contemplation, three words were "spoken" within my heart. It turns out that those three words were not something I had thought before and when I looked them up, it turned out that they had deep meaning and helped me to understand my purpose in life.

That being said, I'm not a religious fanatic--fanatics of any type are idiots.

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Wow very nice post and very clever answer :)