Why do guys shield thier feelings?
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Why do guys shield thier feelings?
I dont shield mine really, im a guy
So if there was something bothering you, you would be open about it?
They are protecting their ego, expressing their feelings is a sign of weakness and ultimately they are afraid to get hurt.
if something bothers me I do express it. But honestly I think it would be better for the relationship if I keep it in....
*sigh*.. I am a very open and honest person, so if i have the decency to say whats on my mind, i expect my other half to do so.. Its got nothing to do with bloddy egos! ahh why do men think that women have some kinda vendetta against them? be more open then you will have a better relationshipQuote:
Originally Posted by Bonfire [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But what if she wanted to talk about a problem within the relationship? you would just bottle up your feelings?Quote:
Originally Posted by justcheckin [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Why do you group men together as if there is only one kind? Find the one that has the qualities you look for and you won't have these types of relationship problems.Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahA [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
then you can never do the right thing lol
That's a really good point. Maybe SarahA is attracted to the strong, silent types, even though she can't stand the poor communication.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonfire [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yep, no communication, no relationship worth being in!Quote:
Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Then change things up next time you are meeting guys. Instead of going for the big, quiet gorilla type, try a guy who is more talkative and expressive.Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahA [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yep. will doQuote:
Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Us men do it because we are A$$hole.
First, men are not all the same. There are touch-feely men out there who cannot seem to stop sharing their feelings, along with the strong, silent type you refer to, and every kind in between.
Many men feel that they have to shield their feelings because they are afraid of being mocked or made-fun-of. These men are generally attracted to women who are understanding and in touch with their own feelings. Everyone has feelings and emotions, and it's on this level that people can relate to one another. Everyone knows what it's like to be angry/sad/happy/scared, it's a common ground between one human and another.
So these men will hide what they are feeling and thinking out of fear or maybe because they don't feel it is appropriate to share their emotions. If you are attracted to a man like this, it's okay to prod a little. Gain his trust by not laughing or belittling his emotions, give him the chance to be open with you without being judged. Let him know that you understand and accept the way he feels. You don't need to solve his problems or try to force him to make emotional leaps that he isn't ready for, just listening and caring is enough.
Bonfire is absolutely right on with this. Not every man hides his feelings. There are also women who hide their feelings. Don't stereotype an entire gender and look towards men who are compatible with your communication style.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonfire [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Good luck.
Sarah you have that wrong men just comminicate different then womenQuote:
Originally Posted by SarahA [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
[url=http://www.knowswhy.com/why-do-men-and-women-communicate-differently/]Why do Men and Women communicate Differently? | Why[/url]
read
I have trouble agreeing with that link. For one thing, it seemed pretty amateur with a few grammatical errors (albeit not many), which kind of says to me that it's not a credible source.Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetkissesforu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Some stuff is true, though. Women tend to take a lot more into consideration, so they take a bit longer to make a decision, but they are more often right than men. Men take the quickest logical path to a decision, an often wind up making mistakes in their judgement because they didn't think about their choice enough. It's useful in emergency situations for people to think fast, and men tend to excel here, although it's been shown in studies that women can also improve their efficiency to respond quickly in emergency situations. In most life situations, when you have the time to think about what you're doing, women excel, although men are capable of sitting down and "thinking like a woman" taking all things into account, if they are willing to have the patience to do so.
Men tend towards liking control of a situation. They usually don't like having a whole lot going on, and prefer focusing on one thing at a time, and their emotions and feelings are not very high up on that list of priorities. Men prefer this control because they are all alpha-males at heart and being the head of a family is their primary objective in life (from a purely physiological standpoint). Granted, there are exceptions to every rule.
Women, however, are usually okay with giving that bit of extra control to a man, provided they have leverage when it really matters to them (usually when others are involved). Taking care of the children is their physiological objective, which requires them to be nurturing and empathetic. They can let the man have control in most cases because they need to focus on raising the children and therefore do not have enough attention to spare on many other things. However, if any man tries to make a decision that will negatively impact the family (as the woman sees it), you can be dang sure she'll have something to say about it!
It's just the way we are. And I know, not everyone is the same, we're all unique and there are exceptions to every rule, but generally speaking this is the way we work. It's the way our brains are designed to function. Men are doers, women are feelers and both men and women are thinkers.
No they won't. Most women can't stand overly-expressive, sensitive men. It's a feminine characteristic.Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahA [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well said!Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Bunch of reasons.
Some view it as weakness, or lack of self control/discipine.
Men, for the most part, are raised to remain functional at all times.
Many were raised by emotionally guarded men, as such, it's how they are.
Emotions are for women.
Emotionally engaging a woman is exhausting in many cases.
Me, personally, I've never been big on emotional displays, but I'm even worse at it now, for the simple reason, I cannot express any negative feelings without a war breaking out, and being attacked for it. It's far simpler to suppress emotional reactions in general than to try an limit specific ones before they get me in shit.
What a load of horse shit.Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Aetherius~ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Must have been written by a woman, or one of those touchy feely self castrated men.
Gee, sorry to have science on my side.Quote:
Originally Posted by Regnent [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
livescience.com/3808-men-women-differently
I don't rely on 'science' that offers no variable information.
At no point does it mention, nationalily, age, sexual orientation, or even pre/post puberty information.
I've also read science articles that state that the brain isn't born that way, it's trained.
Men and women think differently, yes, but at this time, I couldn't say -why- they treat emotions differently outside of environmental training. Some cultures have -very- expressive men, some have very reserved women.
That's true. I did try to imply that I was generalizing by putting "exceptions to every rule" in there a few times, but I guess it came across wrong >.>Quote:
Originally Posted by Regnent [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm sure a lot of it does have to do with society and the way we're expected to behave in our gender roles.
It also has a lot to do with being born that way. If you look at the way different gendered babies develop. Once again, generalizing, because there are exceptions to every rule, but every bit of information I've gotten from experienced moms, the baby websites (like babycenter), and my baby's pediatrician point to some key differences in baby boys and baby girls.
Baby girls usually learn how to talk first, developing their verbal skills a bit younger and a bit faster than male bables. And baby boys usually reach their physical milestones first. I have a baby boy and I can attest that he has learned physical milestones even months before average for most babies, but was a little late on the cooing and laughing thus far (he's 4 1/2 months). My boyfriend's sister has a baby girl who is 2 months younger than my son, who was smiling, cooing, ect all before he was.
Fast forward to toddler-hood and we find that boys are usually a bit rowdier and like playing physical games, whereas girls are happy just sitting around babbling at each other. Girls also usually have a bigger vocabulary but are a bit less exploratory, preferring the safety of familiarity unless there is a caregiver present to encourage them onward. Please note I use words like "usually" and "a bit".
So you're right that I didn't take enough into account with my previous posting, but based on what I know about the development of young children, my opinion has to be geared towards some key differences in the way our brains develop from the very beginning. Hormones are a powerful things, and boys are chock full of testosterone even in the womb. Testosterone is known to cause increased aggression, among other behavioral changes, when added to someone's system. Granted, it's presence in men (and women to a much smaller degree) is natural and entirely safe compared to having it supplemented, but it does cause some significant differences.
Thank you for pointing out my error, it required me to rethink a bit, which is good :-)
No you wont! Because that's not the type of guy you're initially attracted to :)Quote:
Yep. will do