Found out how many guys she slept with...

Well not exactly. But basically she made it clear it was a pretty big number. I said its the past and its all good. And at first it was but the more i think about it (few hours) the more im bothered. Like... wtf. I feel like If she just ****s dudes all the time how am I any different. Why would I bother investing time and emotion in her because I can just get a 1 night stand if I want that.

Basically should i be bothered? Should I let it go?

Also, I'm pretty sure she is pretty mad at me now so any advice on that would be chill

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Originally Posted by funkmasta [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

she made it clear it was a pretty big number.

Why would I bother investing time and emotion in her because I can just get a 1 night stand if I want that.

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How did she make that clear to you?

As to why... do you think all she's good for is sleeping with? You would invest time and emotion because she's an awesome person and not merely some receptacle for your penis.

Uhm. I made it pretty clear that I like her but if she just sleeps around then what makes me different? If I want to be a number I will go pick up a girl at a party. Not bond like I am with this girl. I'm have no idea why you think that i think she is only good for sleeping with.

And why would I post on this site if she was a receptacle for my dick. That makes no sense at all. Its pretty clear I like her personality a lot and I dont like her sex history a lot. I don't know how to make this more clear for you.

And she said.. "you don't want to know" and i happen to know for a fact its not the "you dont want to know cause i a virgin"

So... I will ask one more time

Should I be concerned or let it go?

I apologize if I seem rude. I just am a very logical straight to the point person. I get bothered by irrelevant things or people who say things before they are actually think about the situation

You already are concerned as you wouldn't be posting on here. As for if you should let it go, yes.

There are probably a number of reasons she is with you and not the other guys. I too have slept with a lot of people in my past but that was moreso because I was single and the right guy didn't come along. He has now. You might be the right guy.

Just out of interest how long have you been together?

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Originally Posted by funkmasta [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I apologize if I seem rude. I just am a very logical straight to the point person. I get bothered by irrelevant things or people who say things before they are actually think about the situation

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What would make you think I said anything without thinking?

Your comment - why would I invest the time when I could have a one night stand? - made it sound like you are the type of guy who invests in a woman to get sex. So if the sex is freely available, you would have no reason to get to know the woman. Now you say you don't want to be just a number. I understand that completely, but why is everything about the sex to you?

Anyway, she said you don't want to know her number. That doesn't tell you anything about that number except that she thinks it's higher than you'd prefer. It could be 5, 15, or 50+. You have no idea. Now whether you should be concerned all depends on what you're concerned about. If you don't want to be with a girl who's been around, then, yeah, maybe you should be concerned. If you're worried that reflects upon your feelings for you, or her seriousness about your relationship, then maybe you shouldn't be. For all you know she went through a phase, made some bad choices, and really regrets what is in her past. If you really like this girl, you should talk to her about your concerns, and be very careful not to offend her or be insensitive. She's probably terribly afraid of you judging her.

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Originally Posted by funkmasta [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well not exactly. But basically she made it clear it was a pretty big number. I said its the past and its all good. And at first it was but the more i think about it (few hours) the more im bothered. Like... wtf. I feel like If she just ****s dudes all the time how am I any different. Why would I bother investing time and emotion in her because I can just get a 1 night stand if I want that.

Basically should i be bothered? Should I let it go?

Also, I'm pretty sure she is pretty mad at me now so any advice on that would be chill

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Step 1) Grow a spine.
Step 2) Grow the hell up.
Step 3) Don't be an idiot when she tells you the truth to a question you asked. It's not her fault you don't like the answer.

Here's some logic steps for you:
If you're the best damn lay she's ever had, why would she go elsewhere unless you're screwing her emotional needs over?
If you want an exclusive relationship with her, ask for it.

My wife's slept w/ 2x as many men as I have women, and I've slept with a pretty healthy number of women for someone who dates only exclusively and didn't really have casual sex with friends until he was 30+. My wife has had smaller penises, larger penises, thicker penises... And she comes home every day to sleep with me. When her female friends start dishing about their sex lives and their disappointments, I get portrayed as a god amongst men. I've been in a room with 5 other men she's slept with at a party, and every single one was A) Telling me how much they envy me, and B) I must be an impressive lay because she broke off her casual relationships w/ all of them to date me exclusively.

The thing is, you're insecure. You're insecure about what you mean to her, you're insecure about your abilities in bed, and really women tend to HATE insecure. Let's face it, women are far more insecure with men and the last thing they want to deal with is your insecurities alongside their own. Man up Francis, tell her what you want from her, tell her what you need from her, and apologize for your reaction. Explain that you felt intimidated, and that this is your issue to deal with and is in no way a reflection of her or her past. You were given a number that is outside of your comfort zone, and you have to deal with it because you want to continue the relationship... Or, you just need to be a man, tuck your penis back between your legs, and run like a woman from the relationship.

Really it's your choice. You can either learn to be a man, or you can whine and get dumped.

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Originally Posted by tremolo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What would make you think I said anything without thinking?

Your comment - why would I invest the time when I could have a one night stand? - made it sound like you are the type of guy who invests in a woman to get sex. So if the sex is freely available, you would have no reason to get to know the woman. Now you say you don't want to be just a number. I understand that completely, but why is everything about the sex to you?

Anyway, she said you don't want to know her number. That doesn't tell you anything about that number except that she thinks it's higher than you'd prefer. It could be 5, 15, or 50+. You have no idea. Now whether you should be concerned all depends on what you're concerned about. If you don't want to be with a girl who's been around, then, yeah, maybe you should be concerned. If you're worried that reflects upon your feelings for you, or her seriousness about your relationship, then maybe you shouldn't be. For all you know she went through a phase, made some bad choices, and really regrets what is in her past. If you really like this girl, you should talk to her about your concerns, and be very careful not to offend her or be insensitive. She's probably terribly afraid of you judging her.

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Thank you, that was much more straight forward. Good information and helpful. However I talked to her about it and its ok now. Although she went and ****in got drunk and twice snuck in an I love you. I ignored the first one and said "<3 u 2 g'night" because love freaks me out. I think she may have said that because she thinks im judging her history. I dont know what to say when she wakes up

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Originally Posted by Lite [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Step 1) Grow a spine.
Step 2) Grow the hell up.
Step 3) Don't be an idiot when she tells you the truth to a question you asked. It's not her fault you don't like the answer.

Here's some logic steps for you:
If you're the best damn lay she's ever had, why would she go elsewhere unless you're screwing her emotional needs over?
If you want an exclusive relationship with her, ask for it.

My wife's slept w/ 2x as many men as I have women, and I've slept with a pretty healthy number of women for someone who dates only exclusively and didn't really have casual sex with friends until he was 30+. My wife has had smaller penises, larger penises, thicker penises... And she comes home every day to sleep with me. When her female friends start dishing about their sex lives and their disappointments, I get portrayed as a god amongst men. I've been in a room with 5 other men she's slept with at a party, and every single one was A) Telling me how much they envy me, and B) I must be an impressive lay because she broke off her casual relationships w/ all of them to date me exclusively.

The thing is, you're insecure. You're insecure about what you mean to her, you're insecure about your abilities in bed, and really women tend to HATE insecure. Let's face it, women are far more insecure with men and the last thing they want to deal with is your insecurities alongside their own. Man up Francis, tell her what you want from her, tell her what you need from her, and apologize for your reaction. Explain that you felt intimidated, and that this is your issue to deal with and is in no way a reflection of her or her past. You were given a number that is outside of your comfort zone, and you have to deal with it because you want to continue the relationship... Or, you just need to be a man, tuck your penis back between your legs, and run like a woman from the relationship.

Really it's your choice. You can either learn to be a man, or you can whine and get dumped.

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HAHAHAHAHA this cracked me up so ****ing much. You are clearly need to validate yourself on this forum LMAO!!! I am printing this out and showing my buddies.

ANYwhooo... you said nothing helpful lol. You just bragged about how you have sex and are a "sex god" hahahaha. omg im laughing so much as i read over your quotes.

I know I mean a lot to her and I know logically I should not care. Its pretty natural to get a rise out of that. But its settled now u big sex god u, so u go ahead and go strut that big cock of yours.

I hope that made you feel less of a need to validate yourself

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Its pretty clear I like her personality a lot and I dont like her sex history a lot. I don't know how to make this more clear for you.

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You can make it as clear as crystal but that doesn't mean it makes any sense.

If you like this girl then you base your feelings on how she makes you feel and how she treats you. Her past HAS **** ALL to do with you nor should it have anything to do with how you view her NOW, while she's with you.

If you take your time to get to know her then you can tell whether her past is still her present or not.

If you want to judge someone on their past and disregard how they are with you and how well they treat you (or not) then put an ad in the paper for a virgin... one who hasn't blown half the country you live in because even virgins get around these days it seems.

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I ignored the first one and said "<3 u 2 g'night" because love freaks me out

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Well that's blatantly obvious since you find things to sabatage your budding relationship that shouldn't even be an issue if she's not still racking up her numbers while in a relationship with you. Quit looking for a reason not to be in love. At the very least, don't blame her for your fear.

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So... I will ask one more time

Should I be concerned or let it go?

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Let it go unless or until she gives you a good reason not to. Her numbers in themselves is not a logical reason to be concerned which, if you are a "logical guy" I can't seem to logic out why you wouldn't know that already.

Just let it go and don't be worried about it. She let it slip because she likes you and is worried that if you found out from other people you instead of her you would get the wrong idea or you would bounce. It may not even be that high of a number it just seems like a high one to her. From your other posts like before your like me. When it comes to women they cannot really grab your attention since you don't notice obvious clues but when they do have it and do like you they will covering themselves to make sure you stick around. Once you get that in to your head your jealously will naturally go away. More often then not you won't just be a number.

Her number is nobodys business and not yours either. If this relationship feels right, she treats you right, and she makes you feel good, then there should be no issue here. So grow up and let it go.

There are people like myself that had a high number, and it don't make you a cheater. So you are being narrow minded about the sexually experienced.

I know that everyone is different, people can change, and all that kind of stuff but...

I have dated a couple of girls who had slept with many (30+) different guys. Both of them cheated on me and banged a whole bunch of guys while we were together. Devastating stuff. Don't let anyone tell you that it is none of your business... if you get an STD from her promiscuity, either now or in the future if she's a cheater, then it will most definitely be your business!

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Originally Posted by funkmasta [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

HAHAHAHAHA this cracked me up so ****ing much. You are clearly need to validate yourself on this forum LMAO!!! I am printing this out and showing my buddies.

ANYwhooo... you said nothing helpful lol. You just bragged about how you have sex and are a "sex god" hahahaha. omg im laughing so much as i read over your quotes.

I know I mean a lot to her and I know logically I should not care. Its pretty natural to get a rise out of that. But its settled now u big sex god u, so u go ahead and go strut that big cock of yours.

I hope that made you feel less of a need to validate yourself

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i have a big cock and slept with twice as many people as Lite, can I be called the MegaSex God?

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Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i have a big cock and slept with twice as many people as Lite, can I be called the MegaSex God?

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Sure thing! From now on, I will refer to you exclusively by the title "MegaSex God". :D

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Originally Posted by funkmasta [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are clearly need to validate yourself on this forum LMAO!!! I am printing this out and showing my buddies.

ANYwhooo... you said nothing helpful lol.

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Actually I don't really care what you do with what I wrote. Here's the thing, I once had a really shitty love life. I've had some pretty damn traumatic shit happen to me because of my own insecurities and weaknesses. I admit that, I've fixed quite a bit of them, and the others I'm still working on. The difference is, I don't pretend that I'm perfect. I don't do it here, and I never have. Ask any of the long-time folk here who remember when I started posting here, and they'll tell you I've been more than candid about my own failings at being a good husband, a good boyfriend, and even at being a good lover.

As for having a big penis? It's bigger than average, but not monstrous. For a good while I actually had convinced myself that I was undersized, and that my first wife's reasons for not sleeping with me had do do with me being lousy in bed, inadequate, etc. So, I set out to fix that. In the end, the problem with my first marriage's sex life was my now ex wife. She had issues, she wouldn't talk to me about them, and when the marriage started to fall apart she wouldn't even go to counseling. Even then, I can't blame her for the marriage failing. It was as much my fault as it was hers, I wasn't personally strong enough to make the right decisions. Rather than file for divorce the only two things I could think to do were A) kill myself, or B) have an affair. I'm not fond of death, so I had an affair.

Now, having an affair is pretty damaging. Not only to your spouse, but to you. I really cannot imagine how I made her feel when she found out. When she did find out we were already divorcing, but she's not really able to be civil to me when we do run into each other (Extremely rare occurrance.) and I don't really blame her for it. While I was miserable being married to her, I should have had the cajones to just divorce her.

I didn't, that's my failure and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. On top of that, I already know that I'm capable of cheating, and I periodically ask myself if I'm capable of being monogamous and happy. So far the answer always comes back yes, but the doubt lingers in the back of my mind only to appear whenever a rough patch comes up.

In the end I lost my wife, my girlfriend cheated lied to me about it and blamed me for her poor behavior, I ended up on anti-depressants to cope with the anxiety attacks and depression, my girlfriend got pregnant (it was mine, I'm just too tired to cover the details at the moment), she had an abortion, I got more depressed, she left me, they upped my anti-depressants, I lost my job because the medication made me unable to feel anything other than anger and made me clinically insane... oh and spent my 30th birthday contemplating the best way to kill myself...Which when you're living by yourself you have nobody to tell you that you're not right in the head... I was taken off the medications because I never should have been put on them to begin with, and then I nuked my life from orbit, fled the state and started over.

In the end my home took 2 years to sell (Pre economic collapse), I took on $40k of my ex wife's debt in the divorce that I finally paid off last year (5 years later...), and I was forced to do an awful lot of soul searching to be OK with the fact that the person I thought I was, wasn't the person I was being.

The best advice I can give you is, don't do the shit I did. It's not good.

Validation from others here? No, I don't need it. I'm not perfect, I never will be, but I do work at being a better person. In the end what it all came down to was this: I failed to make reasoned and intelligent decisions about my life because I was too afraid of the consequences and the emotional pain I would cause myself and my significant other. Most people are incapable of getting out of their own way in order to find real and meaningful happiness with a partner.

So, when I say you're an idiot, I mean it. And I'm right. It doesn't mean you'll always be an idiot, it just means you're being one right now.

I was an idiot, I'm sometimes still an idiot.

Usually I can dissect a person's personality flaws in under 5 minutes. You're insecure, you're not unique in this, and this is something you should really probably work on before it causes you bigger problems down the road.

If you want to laugh at me, fine. Dismiss me, ok. I don't really care. I say what's on my mind, and your opinion of what I say isn't going to change the truth. So, hide with your head in the sand, be afraid of another man's dick, and belittle a woman for behavior that you'd be praised for by your peers... Because, you know that's all enlightened and shit.

Here are the things I'm confident about in life: How much money I make, how happy I make my wife, how good I am in bed, and what good and evil I'm truly capable of doing. I still struggle with my own self worth, and my own self confidence. I'm working on it, but hey, search my posts, I've never once asked for relationship advice here. Why? Because I'm married, I'm happy being married, and even when my wife and I have a disagreement or rough patch, I know my life is better with her than without her. I don't escalate arguments, I don't call her names, and I don't disrespect her EVER. Not even as a joke.

Look, you should care how many people you slept with, but only because you respect yourself and don't want an STI. However, judging her isn't going to accomplish anything. Get yourself tested if you have that little faith in her. I've had times in my life where I went and had myself tested. I consider it being respectful to myself.

As for calling myself god-like in bed. Well, laugh all you want I don't care. I'm capable of being perfectly open and candid about my life and my failings here. There's literally nothing anyone can say to me to shame me about being good in bed after I spent years literally crying myself to sleep because my first wife didn't want to sleep with me. It's a pretty big ego crusher, I'm pretty damn emotionally sensitive, and for someone who was struggling with their self worth it was pretty damn destructive. I was contemplating killing myself on my honeymoon because my wife wouldn't sleep with me. I literally have no shame about my past, my failings, and the changes I made to validate myself. I can't, I'm not that guy anymore. I've done some pretty horrible crap, and covering it up doesn't make the pain go away. I had to learn to accept myself even with my faults.

So, seeking validation here? No, not really. I just like helping people. I always have, and people post a lot of stupid crap here hoping that someone will validate how they feel rather than tell them the truth. Frankly I wish someone had told me the truth about marriage, how to choose who to marry, and what's really important in life. My dad's advice to me was, "Stop and think about whether or not it is worth arguing over." The truth is, so little matters that you shouldn't argue over it. I have my core things, thou shall not cross. Any woman that crosses them gets kicked to the curb. That's the ultimatum I give them up front. I am who I am, you cannot change me to suit your needs. I'll change if I want to change, not because you want me to.

I hurt some people's feelings, but grand scheme of things I'd rather tell someone to f*ck off than lead them on with promises of something I know won't work.

It took getting divorced for me to truly understand irreconcilable differences, and how to spot them early in a relationship. Now I'm happy, now I'm secure in my "manhood", and frankly the day I stopped defining myself according to what others thought was extremely liberating. I highly recommend it.

You came her for advice, I gave you some. Either you walk away from it with something, or you don't. It's free advice, and it's worth every penny you paid for it.

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Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i have a big cock and slept with twice as many people as Lite, can I be called the MegaSex God?

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Let's see, I've slept with 10 women, (Wow, 7 of which were in one year...), which means you've slept with... 30 women? 21 of which were in one year of your life. Daaaamn. So that really IS a self portrait!