Does this mean he likes me?

These last months a friend of mine has been looking for me A LOT. With that I mean calling me every day about 7 times, sending me msgs with no reason, and coming home to 'visit' me, even if I wasn't even there and he had to come back later. One of those visits was to give me, as a gift, a cute little white kitten, because he'd seen me sad about my other cat disappearing.

We've spent, once, all the afternoon together, and last sunday, the whole day, from 3 pm until 3 am. Sometimes alone, sometimes my family was home. We went to a Blockbuster, he doesn't like love movies, but still he told me 'I like this one'. Movie's name: friends with benefits. While watching the movies, I couldn't focus because he was so close, and I felt as if he were thinking the same thing. Then we went for a walk, and talked for two hours about life. When he was leaving, he told me 'I'm getting to know you better' and smiled.

The thing is... he didn't made any obvious moves. He talked about his exs. Curiously, he looked at me and told me 'I'm slow (with girls)', but I've never seen him having trouble. He's pretty 'confident', or so it seems... maybe just a facade? And idk... one of his friends once (lot of time ago) mentioned he didn't played with me, telling me pick up lines and stuff like he sometimes does, because he respects me.

I'm scared of just being delusional and imagining all this. He's so confusing! I mean... I cannot tell if he likes me as a friend, or more. I don't understand anything. Pls, help! I know it sounds kinda obvious, but I assure you, for me it's not. For one side, what he's doing... yes, of course it's not common. For me at least. But seeing how he does behave when we're together, I don't really feel anything out of place. Maybe it's just me? Also losing him will be really sad, because he's been nicer to me than anyone else, even when I can be a cold and difficult person. He never surrendered... this is certainly a surprise.

Tell him you hope to find someone exactly like him one day because he is exactly the kind of guy you would date.

It sounds like he likes you, but needs some encouragement to make a move.

Seems to me like he not only likes you but is also desperately obsessed by you.
He's probably quite shy and is trying to find out if you're interested in him at all.

It does sound like he likes you and is shy around you. He might seem confident around other girls, but for some guys the shyness only kicks in when faced with a situation and person that they really care for. The fear of getting hurt might be higher for him here because he really does like you and that is causing him to not make any move too quick.

Good luck.

A guy just doesnt call out of the blue or messages you 7 times a day for nothing. There are a lot of shy guys out there that are friends with you first in hopes you will get to know them and fall for them. This time around tho this guy is luck because so many girls put this type of guy in the friends zone. He needs a lot of green lights or signals from you before he will be comfortable to make a move. Go for it flirt with him with sexy messages.

Ok... I think you all agreed on him liking me...
So, the best thing I could do, I suppose, is try sending him subtle messages so he finds the balls to tell me? I'm not one of those girls to go and tell him how I feel. I'm not. Besides I don't really know how I feel, LOL. But these last days he's been going around my head nonstop.

Yes.

'I'm slow with girls' = 'I want to make a move, but if you would be so kind as to just give me a little sign, I could put this indecision to rest and just go right ahead and pounce on you instead'. I've used that line before and that was exactly what I was thinking when I said it.

Or just make a move yourself. Not too many dudes are going to be like 'Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey now! I just want to make one thing clear. I'm not that kind of dude!'

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Originally Posted by TheCherryOnTop [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ok... I think you all agreed on him liking me...
So, the best thing I could do, I suppose, is try sending him subtle messages so he finds the balls to tell me? I'm not one of those girls to go and tell him how I feel. I'm not. Besides I don't really know how I feel, LOL. But these last days he's been going around my head nonstop.

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No, don't use subtle signs. He will second-guess himself if you do. Use unmistakable signs. What Vashti said was an excellent suggestion. I personally think you should just say this to him:

"If you like me, you should ask me out sometime."

*BOOM* done.

Good advice from HIA. Even better in my opinion would be to straight up ask him out.

Well... it's okay if you want to kill me for this, but I think he only calls me and comes home so much because he's scaping his home. I know his dad is really insufferable.

I talked with my cousin about it, and she told me he has a lot of other friends to go with and spend the whole day, and yet he comes to my house. I know he fought with them a week ago and he's still mad at them, but well, this whole 'harassing' stuff started, like I said, some months ago. But sheesh... I'm really complicated. It's incredible he's still pursuing me.

Yeah, he's really persistent.

Ask him. Do it.

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Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ask him. Do it.

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YES! I DID IT!!

He came yesterday. We had finally arranged plans to drink something here at home, and then go to a bar. We drank some wine, and talked a lot about stuff, and when I was already prepared to go out, he suddenly 'started to feel bad', so we stayed. I brought him a glass of water, and then we lied together on my bed (upstairs). We talked there too, and it wasn't long before he became touchy-feely and hugged me. Then I knew there was definitely something going on when we started holding hands. And yes, we kissed. The first thing he told me was 'Shit... we screwed friendship up'. I told him it needen't to be like that, and that I didn't wanted to stop being friends.

So... we kissed the whole night, and some other... 'activities'. We didn't had sex because I told him I didn't felt ready yet; he was really kind with me in everything, whenever I said no he stopped. I also touched him of course, but I'm a virgin and he's not. So... we touched and kissed a lot, and laughed and talked too. In some moment he hugged me really strong and told me he loved me a lot.

I feel that what we are now it's some kind of friends with benefits and absolutely adore it. I told him some day we were going to have sex (it was me, he didn't insist, really) because I really trusted and liked him, but not tonight, and he told me it was alright. Finally, we fell asleep at 5 am hugging, and woke up at 7 when he had to go home. (I fell from bed LMAO it was super funny and shameful). He was about to kiss me goodbye but my (!) stepfather was there so he just kissed me.

Ok... a really great and unbelievable night. I feel now that maybe we went a little bit fast, but as I've never really had a serious thing with a boy I liked I cannot tell. Besides... I enjoyed it. A lot. Would definitely do it again.

THANK YOUUU!

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Originally Posted by TheCherryOnTop [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

YES! I DID IT!!

He came yesterday. We had finally arranged plans to drink something here at home, and then go to a bar. We drank some wine, and talked a lot about stuff, and when I was already prepared to go out, he suddenly 'started to feel bad', so we stayed. I brought him a glass of water, and then we lied together on my bed (upstairs). We talked there too, and it wasn't long before he became touchy-feely and hugged me. Then I knew there was definitely something going on when we started holding hands. And yes, we kissed. The first thing he told me was 'Shit... we screwed friendship up'. I told him it needen't to be like that, and that I didn't wanted to stop being friends.

So... we kissed the whole night, and some other... 'activities'. We didn't had sex because I told him I didn't felt ready yet; he was really kind with me in everything, whenever I said no he stopped. I also touched him of course, but I'm a virgin and he's not. So... we touched and kissed a lot, and laughed and talked too. In some moment he hugged me really strong and told me he loved me a lot.

I feel that what we are now it's some kind of friends with benefits and absolutely adore it. I told him some day we were going to have sex (it was me, he didn't insist, really) because I really trusted and liked him, but not tonight, and he told me it was alright. Finally, we fell asleep at 5 am hugging, and woke up at 7 when he had to go home. (I fell from bed LMAO it was super funny and shameful). He was about to kiss me goodbye but my (!) stepfather was there so he just kissed me.

Ok... a really great and unbelievable night. I feel now that maybe we went a little bit fast, but as I've never really had a serious thing with a boy I liked I cannot tell. Besides... I enjoyed it. A lot. Would definitely do it again.

THANK YOUUU!

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You were right - you don't have to stop being friends. My wife is my best friend. I'm so glad to hear that things are working out for you.

I wouldn't advise going the "friends with benefits" route. That will lead to heartbreak for you. Insist on a real relationship.

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Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You were right - you don't have to stop being friends. My wife is my best friend. I'm so glad to hear that things are working out for you.

I wouldn't advise going the "friends with benefits" route. That will lead to heartbreak for you. Insist on a real relationship.

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But... gosh I think now everything can become or way complicated, or not. I don't know his intentions. I don't know if I want a serious relationship with him. It's obviously not a simple friendship anymore, but also... oh my. This time I really won't have the guts to call him so he's gonna have to do it. When we see each other it's gonna be SO awkward, hahahahaha.

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Originally Posted by TheCherryOnTop [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But... gosh I think now everything can become or way complicated, or not. I don't know his intentions. I don't know if I want a serious relationship with him. It's obviously not a simple friendship anymore, but also... oh my. This time I really won't have the guts to call him so he's gonna have to do it. When we see each other it's gonna be SO awkward, hahahahaha.

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Hey, you do what you want - but if you go with the "Friends with Benefits" path, you're likely to end up with just that... looking for a relationship with someone that isn't interested in having one.

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Originally Posted by TheCherryOnTop [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't know his intentions. I don't know if I want a serious relationship with him.

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If you don't know if you want a serious relationship with him, don't lead him on. Ask him about what sort relationship he's interested in, whether he has any deeper feelings for you. Also, tell him exactly how you feel.
If neither of you is interested in a serious relationship, go for the FWB. It's fun :)
If both of you want a serious relationship, I think you guys should agree that youre dating and try to get to know each other better. That doesn't mean you have to stop the fun though ;)
If only one of you is interested in something serious, it has the potential to become a great strain on your friendship. In that case you should stay as just friends without intimacy until the situation changes.

Well... things are getting weird. I'm a hurricane of indefinable feelings. He hasn't called yet and I wonder if he will, and what would he tell me if he does, and what would I answer, and what do we do now? You know, when we see each other. We just say hello?

I'm also torn between, for one side, how much I liked it and how I would do it again. We were both conscious and well... we had time to regret it or back away but we didn't. BUT he's a great friend, and I don't know if he wants this to become serious - and I bet he doesn't. I'm almost sure he doesn't. Does that make me sad, do I really want it? I don't know yet. But I arrived to one important conclusion: I'm not gonna lie to myself. If I fall in love but he just wants to be friends with bens (I guess we are now in that category), I'm gonna stop it and just be friends.

I know I'm complicating things, but well, I do it when there's no real need to complicate things. Now that there is, pffew!

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Originally Posted by TheCherryOnTop [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well... things are getting weird. I'm a hurricane of indefinable feelings. He hasn't called yet and I wonder if he will, and what would he tell me if he does, and what would I answer, and what do we do now? You know, when we see each other. We just say hello?

I'm also torn between, for one side, how much I liked it and how I would do it again. We were both conscious and well... we had time to regret it or back away but we didn't. BUT he's a great friend, and I don't know if he wants this to become serious - and I bet he doesn't. I'm almost sure he doesn't. Does that make me sad, do I really want it? I don't know yet. But I arrived to one important conclusion: I'm not gonna lie to myself. If I fall in love but he just wants to be friends with bens (I guess we are now in that category), I'm gonna stop it and just be friends.

I know I'm complicating things, but well, I do it when there's no real need to complicate things. Now that there is, pffew!

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I bet you could identify your emotions if you had a vocabulary in front of you... so take a look at these, and see which ones fit. It will help you sort out your feelings and clarify what you're feeling. I find it very useful.

It's a very long list, but give it a shot:

[url=http://eqi.org/fw.htm]Feeling Words[/url]

We talked! Well, I was expecting a frontal talk, but I guess this was ok. He sent me a message today. At first we talked as if nothing had happened. Then he mentioned it, and we started flirting. Then he asked me when could we see each other and I told him I was busy in the week but free in the weekend. He insisted on knowing what got me so busy. Then he repeated what he said 'I love you a lot I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship', I answered the same, 'I love you too and I don't see why should it be ruined'. He acted jealous! Because I told him maybe I was going to a bar in the weekend, and because I told him I was chatting with someone, LOL. He's weird in a cute way.

So, next weekend we are going to see each other. So, about the Feeling Words, right now I feel NERVOUS! I don't know what to wear. I don't know what are we going to do, because I still don't want to have sex, but some games would be fun.

Also... I was so happy when he sent me the message I started dancing. Should I worry? LOL.

No, but I agree with everyone you guys should clarify what your new status is because confusion and misunderstandings lead to heartbreak.

It does sound like he likes you and is shy around you.

Ok... all changed. Back to the start. Yesterday he came and I didn't like it. I felt used, as if I were another on his long womans list. We made out, I stopped him before sex, similar as the other time; he seemed kinda frustrated, and though not mad, he told me he didn't wanted to turn on further and that he wanted to leave. That was like a stab right onto my heart and POP! all this confusing week came to a conclusion.

He loves me, as a friend, and wants to have sex with me because he's a man and I'm a woman. What he's searching doing all what he's done for me is exactly what I told: to escape his home and come here, where he is accepted and loved. I want to be his best friend, that friend who loves him and he can trust and come whenever he needs, without mixing things up. I want to be the exception this time, and not being a woman to have sex with but a woman to love (in a frienship way).

I told him yesterday, after he told me this things that somehow hurt: that he wanted us to keep this a secret (I already screwed that up), that he didn't wanted us to go out to a bar because people were going to think we were together (that bothered me a lot though I already suspected that). I told him 'maybe is better if we were just friends'. He told me it was okay, that he would let me think about it, and, no matter what choice I made, we were going to be friends one way or the other.

After that, I was still confused. We made out some more but inside it wasn't the same.

When we were friends, I felt loved. Now I don't. So I'm going to call him, tomorrow or some other day in the week, and tell him everything, and then hug him really strong. Though it hurts a little bit after this week of thinking too much about him and being so happy for having found what I thougt it was, I'm glad to come back to this position. I love him and want to help him in every possible way, and feel that, after all, it's good that we did this thing because if not it would have always been nagging us. Now our friendship has started a new and incredible phase.

So, thank you people for keeping me company on this new journey of learning and growing up.