A definition of Love

Hi everybody,

I did a website about the definition of love. I explain with my own words and experiences, my definition of love. You can let a message online if you want to react about the subject. It's a french website but I translated it in english (all is not translate for now, but you can visit it). Thank you and don't hesitate to e-mail me.

The website is: [url]http://membres.lycos.fr/lamourveritable[/url]

lamourveritable means "The real love" (in fact it is: L'Amour véritable)

Bye !!

Eguigui

uhhh no...its all in french. I bet it is a lame, un-truthful, wrong, non-scientific definition of love so I do not really care.

Yeah, plus, what's with all these love stories?

Hi Only-virgins and Frasbee,

It is not a lame, it is true and you have the translation in english, just clik on the USA map. But this story is totally true, I just want to share it with people and hope having reactions about it, that's all.

"For me, love is a extraordinary feeling which must be reciprocal. It’s passion without limit for someone. But love, the real one, is inexhaustible, malleable in time, but inexhaustible. When we speak about her, I agree. Her life is mine and my life is hers. Sharing everything, communicating, dialoguing. Keeping this relationship trustworthy and sincere. That is my definition of what love is."

That quote is your definition of love on that site as you say so quote for quote. my friend.....I have absolutly ZERO idea of what the hell you are talking about. That doesn't sound like a definition to me but a complicated riddle that really has no solution.

Hi Only-Virgin,

Your point of view is interesting. So, you don't understand my definition, what do you think is wrong in this definition? (I don't want you to think that I am attacking you, I am not here to fight but to discuss) Explain me what do you think about it. Can I ask you to give me your own definition of love? I am not looking for a solution, why do you want a solution to this definition? It is just my own interpretation about what love is for me, that's why I want you to give me your definition (if u want to). Ok? But thanks to react about that.

Eguigui

Unfortunately for you Egui, Virgin here is only here to argue.

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Originally Posted by Frasbee

Unfortunately for you Egui, Virgin here is only here to argue.

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Thats not fair. No I am not. You know that I can give an honest answer...not my fault sometimes you don't agree with it.

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Originally Posted by Eguigui67

Hi Only-Virgin,

Your point of view is interesting. So, you don't understand my definition, what do you think is wrong in this definition? (I don't want you to think that I am attacking you, I am not here to fight but to discuss) Explain me what do you think about it. Can I ask you to give me your own definition of love? I am not looking for a solution, why do you want a solution to this definition? It is just my own interpretation about what love is for me, that's why I want you to give me your definition (if u want to). Ok? But thanks to react about that.

Eguigui

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The first few paragraphs I read on that page are fantastic. It almost makes the word "love" seem relative. The only problem I found is that later you came to a conclusion about love do to your personal encounters with it but to bad that everyone has different encounters and experiences don't you think?. My definition of love is not something you want to hear because it is very blunt and many attack me because of it. In order for a word (like "love") to be a common word with a definition then first people must agree on a identical meaning. This is were the problem is. People make the word "love" mean what ever they want. I am sure you have heard people say " I love my car" .."I love my dog"..."I love this movie"..etc.

Let me put it this way....A long time ago love was used to describe that feeling you get that is chemical towards another...not like seeing a hot girl/guy on TV but rather the strange feeling you get of perfection towards another. Now a-days people seem to have combined attachemnet, caring, time, personality, compatiblility, and trust to it. The truth is that none of those things had anything to do with it in the first place. The best thing to do would be to just agree on the idea that "love" just simply means the most powerful feeling towards another that you have currently felt up to that point in your life for anyone.

I do not require anyone to agree with this idea but to just think about it. I do not argue...I discuss as well. :)

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Originally Posted by Frasbee

Unfortunately for you Egui, Virgin here is only here to argue.

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See Frasbee, Virgin can discuss, and u can too because for now, I can't say that your reactions were constructive. Take the exemple of Virgin !!!

Anyway!

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

to bad that everyone has different encounters and experiences don't you think?

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I don't think it's to bad, I think it's rich and that's why I wanted to do this website and speak about my experience, to have reactions about this subject and compare different point of view.

I agree when you say "People make the word "love" mean what ever they want". But I am not speaking about this love, as you understood, I deal with feelings for someone, falling in love for someone and not for something.
People who love their dogs and have a girl/boyfriend use the same word to express their feelings but they will explain it differently.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

"love" just simply means the most powerful feeling towards another that you have currently felt up to that point in your life for anyone

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I agree with that too, but it is not only that for me, and that's what I am trying to explain in my website.

I am curious to know your definition, the one you don't want to speak about in this forum, so, why not writing me on my website and explain it to me, your email will appear nowhere, ok?

Eguigui

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Thats not fair. No I am not. You know that I can give an honest answer...not my fault sometimes you don't agree with it.

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What's that Gordon?

You wanna fight me now?!

"Let me put it this way....A long time ago love was used to describe that feeling you get that is chemical towards another...not like seeing a hot girl/guy on TV but rather the strange feeling you get of perfection towards another. Now a-days people seem to have combined attachemnet, caring, time, personality, compatiblility, and trust to it. The truth is that none of those things had anything to do with it in the first place.

The best thing to do would be to just agree on the idea that "love" just simply means the most powerful feeling towards another that you have currently felt up to that point in your life for anyone. [/QUOTE from OV]"

While I'm all for accurate definitions, I'm having a hard time w/one. Too simplistic. Love is chemical. OK, I'll work w/this. Attachment, caring, etc. have nothing to do w/love in its original form. OK, still tracking. But are the chemical(s) for love different from those that cause attachment, caring, etc.? If so, then I can accept this definition. But are they?

The second point about "most powerful feeling", etc. at least allows for individual variance. But does it allow me to love more than one person? I'm thinking specifically of my spouse and my child, who I both love (I'm sure I make chemicals in their presence)...

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Originally Posted by indigosoul

"Let me put it this way....A long time ago love was used to describe that feeling you get that is chemical towards another...not like seeing a hot girl/guy on TV but rather the strange feeling you get of perfection towards another. Now a-days people seem to have combined attachemnet, caring, time, personality, compatiblility, and trust to it. The truth is that none of those things had anything to do with it in the first place.

The best thing to do would be to just agree on the idea that "love" just simply means the most powerful feeling towards another that you have currently felt up to that point in your life for anyone. [/QUOTE from OV]"

While I'm all for accurate definitions, I'm having a hard time w/one. Too simplistic. Love is chemical. OK, I'll work w/this. Attachment, caring, etc. have nothing to do w/love in its original form. OK, still tracking. But are the chemical(s) for love different from those that cause attachment, caring, etc.? If so, then I can accept this definition. But are they?

The second point about "most powerful feeling", etc. at least allows for individual variance. But does it allow me to love more than one person? I'm thinking specifically of my spouse and my child, who I both love (I'm sure I make chemicals in their presence)...

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Thank you for posting more or less my definition. First of all why do you think that there is a great chemical influence on attachment? specially during love? . Attachment is a complicated issue because it has alot to do with a experience. I am VERY sorry but I am having a hard time explaining what is in my head...have you ever had that? :( . I know this will sound evil to you because of cultural norms but according to the REAL definiton of "love" it is impossible for you to love your own child..you don't love your child...you care and are attached to your child...as for your spouse..well you probably do love them....I hope.

On the "most powerful feeling" well...actually from my experiences and observation you can only love(be infatuated, call it what ever you like) one at a time. I have noticed that the only time I build new feelings such as these towards a new person is after the last person has not been around me for a very long time. Strangly(still can not figure out how but scientist assume smell(I dont agree though)) the feeling seems to be always mutual..its as if the chemical will not release unless both bodies agree to it.

You know I did have to actually stop and think when you asked if there are chemicals required to other feelings. I believe there are but talk is cheap. Either way a person creating a bond with another has nothing to do with love...or at least when the word "love" was thought of. If people would like to change meanings well fine but all must agree on one definiton. Thats why I think "the strongest feeling" definiton works. It would apply well to how people use it now. "I love my car" ..fine...strongest feeling towards a car because its you favorite.."I love you" strongest feeling towards a perons...works if you ask me no?

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Originally Posted by Frasbee

What's that Gordon?

You wanna fight me now?!

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I want you to agree to dis-agree :baby: sometimes. Also laugh at my jokes rather then make fun of them :( .

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Originally Posted by Eguigui67

compare different point of view.

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That is a great and wise thing to say. My philosophy teacher always said those words hehe.

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Originally Posted by Eguigui67

I agree when you say "People make the word "love" mean what ever they want". But I am not speaking about this love, as you understood, I deal with feelings for someone, falling in love for someone and not for something.
People who love their dogs and have a girl/boyfriend use the same word to express their feelings but they will explain it differently.



I agree with that too, but it is not only that for me, and that's what I am trying to explain in my website.

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Its hard for me to destinguish the difference between something like "falling in love with someone" and "falling in love with something" ..something meaning an object? I dont understand. I try to use logic all that time and reasoning and I sometimes think that is the reason why I do not get along with females to well hahaha :goofy: ...they have all these feelings and I can't understand alot of things...I am only human as well but I just am debating on definiton of love and not someones experience with someone else. I read your story and I started to think and put my-self in that situation...I personally felt that I would REALLY care about that person as well. Some people think that I am trying to make the word "love" seeem less important but that is not true.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Its hard for me to destinguish the difference between something like "falling in love with someone" and "falling in love with something" ..something meaning an object? I dont understand. I try to use logic all that time and reasoning and I sometimes think that is the reason why I do not get along with females to well hahaha.

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This can lead to confusion, I understand that!! I would not say that you can't have feelings for a dog, a pet or your car. I think it's a question of degree (I don't know if it's comprehensible). For exemple, I would more use the verb "to adore" for my car, or music or guitare.

I can understand the use of "love" for pets because there is a reciprocal affection. But, for me, the love for someone (a real person) is the most powerful.

About getting along with females as you said, first, don't use this term "female", it is to bestial, don't u think? Be more romantic !!! After that, I don't know what to say. Everybody is different, and I know that it is very difficult to understand what women are thinking and want (happy Mel Gibson!!). The most important is to listen !!!!!

Eguigui

i guess, there is no common definition of love! Everybody has to gain own expierience with love or rather everybody should definite the word "love" to itself. That's my opinion.

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Originally Posted by Eguigui67

About getting along with females as you said, first, don't use this term "female", it is to bestial, don't u think? Be more romantic !!! After that, I don't know what to say. Everybody is different, and I know that it is very difficult to understand what women are thinking and want (happy Mel Gibson!!). The most important is to listen !!!!!

Eguigui

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I don't actually use that term around them...but what would you consider romantic anyways? I listen....they don't talk...lol...

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Originally Posted by Jaws

i guess, there is no common definition of love! Everybody has to gain own expierience with love or rather everybody should definite the word "love" to itself. That's my opinion.

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that is a very good opinion.

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Originally Posted by Jaws

i guess, there is no common definition of love! Everybody has to gain own expierience with love or rather everybody should definite the word "love" to itself. That's my opinion.

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You're right!! That's why I am speaking about Love with a capital L, and I am not saying that this is THE definition of love but mine. And every experiences are different, so I agree that we can not have one meaning for this term.

Eguigui

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

I am VERY sorry but I am having a hard time explaining what is in my head...have you ever had that? :( . I know this will sound evil to you because of cultural norms but according to the REAL definiton of "love"... etc.

...the feeling seems to be always mutual..its as if the chemical will not release unless both bodies agree to it.

...why I think "the strongest feeling" definiton works. It would apply well to how people use it now. "I love my car" ..fine...strongest feeling towards a car because its you favorite.."I love you" strongest feeling towards a perons...works if you ask me no?

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Ans to P1: I have had that & I think you at least gotta try explaining; this is the point of communication. And we all get better w/practice. And don't think its evil to say I don't love my child. Of course I do. But it may not fit YOUR definition of love. Doesn't matter what you call it, so long as another person understnads your definition.

P2: Interesting thought about both bodies being necessary. Except... how do you explain the nutcases who fall for movie stars they never met?!

P3: I understand your "strongest feeling" definition. But it isn't a very functional one, is my problem. Its OK for an individual definition, but how do you compare your feeling w/anothers (you can't)? And this is THE major problem in most of the posts to this website (what are they feeling/thinking/what do they mean, do they love me, etc).

P.S. My feeling for my son IS "the strongest feeling ever". So what now?



:D

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Originally Posted by Jaws

i guess, there is no common definition of love! Everybody has to gain own expierience with love or rather everybody should definite the word "love" to itself. That's my opinion.

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Yes! And if you like OVs definition of love: "the strongest feeling ever" then you MUST gain enough experience to know what this is. Or at least recognize when it isn't. Is why so many young couples who never dated enough get into trouble later maybe...

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Originally Posted by indigosoul

Yes! And if you like OVs definition of love

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I'm sorry, but what is the meaning of "OVs" ?? :surprised

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Originally Posted by Jaws

I'm sorry, but what is the meaning of "OVs" ?? :surprised

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I don't really have one. The word "love" seems more and more relative to me.

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Originally Posted by indigosoul

Ans to P1: I have had that & I think you at least gotta try explaining; this is the point of communication. And we all get better w/practice. And don't think its evil to say I don't love my child. Of course I do. But it may not fit YOUR definition of love. Doesn't matter what you call it, so long as another person understnads your definition.

P2: Interesting thought about both bodies being necessary. Except... how do you explain the nutcases who fall for movie stars they never met?!

P3: I understand your "strongest feeling" definition. But it isn't a very functional one, is my problem. Its OK for an individual definition, but how do you compare your feeling w/anothers (you can't)? And this is THE major problem in most of the posts to this website (what are they feeling/thinking/what do they mean, do they love me, etc).

P.S. My feeling for my son IS "the strongest feeling ever". So what now?

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P1. I try. :)

P2. The movie star buffs do not feel that chemical feeling...they just want the person because they are ...how do you say it...oh yea....HAAAAWWWWWWTTT ..lol..Hmm...That is what I would call infatuation.

P3. You don't have to compare your feelings....why would you? as long as they are stongest so that you are confident enough to say "I love _____".

On your P.S. ...... Your motherly feeling? I would call chemical feeling stronger but ..damn you....good point. I would prefer to use my term though with male to female (as in a relationship possibilities) only.

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Originally Posted by indigosoul

Ans to P1: I have had that & I think you at least gotta try explaining; this is the point of communication. And we all get better w/practice. And don't think its evil to say I don't love my child. Of course I do. But it may not fit YOUR definition of love. Doesn't matter what you call it, so long as another person understnads your definition.

P2: Interesting thought about both bodies being necessary. Except... how do you explain the nutcases who fall for movie stars they never met?!

P3: I understand your "strongest feeling" definition. But it isn't a very functional one, is my problem. Its OK for an individual definition, but how do you compare your feeling w/anothers (you can't)? And this is THE major problem in most of the posts to this website (what are they feeling/thinking/what do they mean, do they love me, etc).

P.S. My feeling for my son IS "the strongest feeling ever". So what now?



:D

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I undersood what you said. You love your son, and I would use this word if I had children, but in my website, I am not speaking about this feeling of love, I deal with the love in a couple, between a man and a woman (but we can also apply that to a gay couple). You can't have the same feelings with your wife as with your children. And I agree that every love stories are different and so are the feelings and that's why love can't have only one definition, but I explained mine.

Defination of love: unconditional and sacrifices.

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Originally Posted by poisoncell

unconditional

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no such thing. Death is a condition and so is time.

woh, I never seen the understanding of France about love, Franch men are Romantic. so ur definition must be coolest but I can't read it

This is fun... Have you ever looked up the "Sapir-whorf hypothesis" or wondered how language can limit the way people think? Have you ever taken a look at how linguistics affect the word love. A few things:

1.) Love (the word) is a failed attempt to express feelings because:

a.) It's difficult to express multiple emotions and multiple variations of these emotions with one word
b.) It's difficult to use a simple, single word to express a complex emotion.
Expressing multiple complex emotions with one word is a stupid ass idea in the first place.
2.) The word love is over-powered and under-powered, in different context, because it is over and under-used, in different context. It's too strong in that people decide that others under a certain age are incapable of feeling "love" and so if someone who isn't yet an adult says they love someone they aren't always taken seriously. It's underpowered/overused/abused by all of the material objects that people apply it to. It's also weakened in that people are given a fake moral obligation to say that they love family.
3.) Love is actually several concepts. Many languages, including Welsh, Spanish, French, and even Portugese help to seperate these concepts with different words. They have different words for love of family, country, and love as an exaggeration. They have seperate words for love, and what English speakers are forced to refer to as "like-liking."

Anyway, that's a relatively short rant. I've written a few... letters to a certain girl on the subject that if I had the time or the will to I could probably convert into an essay. Anyway, read the Wikipedia article on it. lol.

Or....people just over complicate things.

The word "love" is only over-complicated because the feeling is over-simplified.

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Originally Posted by pxc

The word "love" is only over-complicated because the feeling is over-simplified.

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The feeling is simple and there is absolutly nothing complicated about it.

The single feeling that you chose to bond with the word love, yes, that is simple. You said you could never love your own child by your definition. We need a word for the feeling between mother and child. Other languages have it.

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Originally Posted by pxc

We need a word for the feeling between mother and child.

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We do need a word for it but it sure is not love. Thats taken. I think people here refer to it as "motherly love". I guess its ok if they put it that way.

That's kinda my point. The word love is taken, and a lot of things that certainly aren't love are being applied to the word when they shouldn't be, and so it confuses people about what love really is.

Yea, basically the word love is abused and its slowly losing its value. You can tell people you love them now and they sometimes wont even take it seriously.

Yup... well I guess that's all on the definition for now. DIE DIE DIE THREAD DIE DIE DIE!!