His wife called me about 10 minutes ago. Right now I'm just numb.
His wife called me about 10 minutes ago. Right now I'm just numb.
Holy shit. I am so sorry. Hug your wife, life is short. Be kind to yourself HIA.
OMG! I'm really sorry, HIA. Peace be with you and your friend's loved ones.
I know it's only been a day since I got the news, but I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. I just don't understand. He left behind a wonderful, amazing beautiful and loving wife who is utterly devastated, and two beautiful brilliant daughters from a previous marriage - one in high school, one in college.
I called his wife back last night and we spent some time on the phone bawling together. I got absolutely shit-faced drunk - didn't help. Well, at least I got to sleep ok.
shitshitshit
Ah, HIA I'm so sorry. :(
What a damned selfish thing for him to do tho. I hope you let his wife know this is absolutely not her or the family's fault. There's a lot of survivors guilt after a suicide and in the end, its the family that is left holding the emotional bag.
I am so sorry :(
I'm sorry, but I don't have much things to say....
that sucks. i'm sorry :(.
His poor family! I am so sorry for all of you, and wish I had something helpful to say.. :(
I've been sitting here feeling sorry for myself...
And it's occurred to me over and over again that whatever I'm feeling, his poor wife and children are feeling it much worse. Those poor ladies.
Just got another phone call from his wife - there won't be a service. He didn't want one.
I wish the son of a bitch had picked up the phone and called me.
Oh HIA, big cyber hugs to you. What a terrible thing for you, and everyone else affected by this, to be going through.
HIA - hope you and yours are holding up okay.
I'm... going to be alright.
Found out yesterday that there will be no service as he didn't want one, so now I won't even be able to say good-bye.
We're planning a trip down to visit his wife a the end of September, though. They're 7+ hours south of us now.
Hey HIA I'm so sorry for your loss. It's very tragic and so sad : ( What his family must be going through, I can't begin to imagine.
You can still say goodbye. For those who believe in such, they say someone's 'soul' doesn't reside in the body. It will be near his friends and loved ones. Perhaps when you visit you can find a place where he loved to be, make a toast to him and a meaningful commitment to something in your life in honour of his memory.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
do you have the slightest idea why he committed suicide?
raverboy
Horrible to hear HIA, I feel for you. A colleague of mine did the same thing very recently, left behind a family. They weren't a friend, so I don't feel the loss personally like you, but it shakes you to the core.
As was said, try to help the family as much as you can, now and down the road. It's a terrible thing they have to live with. There's usually something deep, underlying in these instances when there isn't mental illness involved. I hope if it's something bad he was around or involved in, that the family doesn't necessarily have to find out, unless it would help their grieving process. They have enough to deal with the rest of their lives.
Stay strong, for them and yourself.
Shit I am so sorry to hear this. Such a sad sad thing for someone to do.
I just found out this weekend that someone I love very much is basically killing himself slowly right now with drugs. I have been contemplating calling him today...and now I know I will. Life is too short. Tell everyone you care about what they mean to you...
chronic pain and methadone withdrawal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
:( So sorry that your friend was dealing with so much pain and now everyone who loved him is dealing with the pain now...
My friend who I am worried about is dealing with heroin/methadone withdrawal...self inflicted, but I know he is in a dark place. What can we do for the people we love that are in trouble?
Rick's methadone was prescribed for severe chronic pain. He and his wife recently moved from California to Texas to be near his family, and apparently there wasn't a doctor in town that was accepting patients.
Without a primary care physician to prescribe his meds, the best he could do was get a 3 day supply at the ER which was costing them more than they could afford.
Awful news. And what a shit health care service. What price a life eh? Apparently **** all to those who make the rules.
Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww, dude. this is very sad.
How ? Why did he do that?
That is so sad.
All the best to you and his wife and family.
its heart broken.
Sorry to hear HIA. Thinking of ya.
It's 2+ months later... and I find that while most of the time I can deal, occasionally I find myself in tears. Like right now.
I loved that man like a brother - he was an old Army buddy of mine, known him for 22 years. Why the **** wouldn't/couldn't he call me? Why am I stuck dealing with this shit and he's gone and erased himself? It hurts so much. I
****ing asshole.
thats sad thou, may God give u guys strength and his family and wife
Dammit... just spent an hour+ on the phone with his sister - MY 'sister'. Oh ****ing hell, why's it hurt so much nearly a year later?
:( I'm so sorry for what you're going through HIA. I'm coming up to the 5th anniversary of someone very close to me making that same choice. I'd like to tell you it gets easier but it doesn't, you get more used to the person not walking through the door but that's about the best I can say, the hurt never goes away. Sorry :(
Who do I punch?
I just caught up on this thread. HIA, you're in my thoughts. Sending you (((hugs)))
I know this thread was started long before I joined this site, but I'm very sorry for your loss, HIA. In the end, I always found it easier to remember the good times- the memories that people can never take away from you ever, instead of remembering the end. I hope you're okay, and if you need to talk, I'm here for you. *hugs*
YC...Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Seriously though, I'm sorry man. Wish I could say more to help but not sure anything can
So sorry HIA, must be tough for everyone involved.
When I was 22, one of my best friends committed suicide by jumping out a window from eight stories up. He was an extremely intelligent guy who got expelled during our senior year of high school, which meant that the best university that he could get into was _only_ the University of Chicago, which is still one of the best in the world. He did well there and was just starting grad school at Columbia (another prestigious school) when he jumped. It was less than a week after the last time I had seen him, and I remember that he was very troubled at the time. He was Chinese-American, and there had been a recent cover story in Time about "Asian-American Whiz Kids" that suggested that perhaps my friend's success was more about his cultural upbringing than his own hard work. He had other issues, too. A close mutual friend of ours who also went to University of Chicago said that our friend never dated anybody there, and was apparently still a virgin.
I took it hard. That last time we got together, he talked about that article, and I was the only other person at the table who had read the article. I wish I had said something differently, to undermine the message that he took from it, instead of just joking about it. I struggled with guilt for a year, and then finally I got mad at my deceased friend. He could have called me, or someone. He could have reached out for help. He could have done so much more with his life than just jump out a window. But in the end, he did what he wanted, and that was that. I accept it all now, but still wish he had made better choices.
Thanks Vincenzo.
I too wish Ricky'd called me, even just to bitch at me about the things that were bothering him. Usually I am fine, don't think about it much... but every now and then something happens to remind me. Yesterday his sister called on me for financial help, and we were actually able to provide it... ended up on the phone for over an hour and it just tore me open again.