Boyfriend's sister in law acting weird
OK. Here's my story.
I am currently in a relationship that has lasted for almost 5 years. Things have always been good for us. We kept it going even as a long distance relationship but now we are having trouble because of a quite silly reason: his family.
More specifically his brother's wife. Since day one she made it clear for me that we would not be friends. She ignored me. She refused to speak to me for a couple of years although she would always try to sit next to me at the table so I would feel uncomfortable (it had become so awkward for me that I stopped attending family gatherings where she would be present). She embarrassed me in public by letting me lean in for a kiss and just changing her mind about it. She opened the door for me at my boyfriend's mom's house but did not respond to my hello and just walked away, without even acknowledging my presence (on numerous occasions).
I tried to understand what I did wrong and I tried being the better person and just ignoring the bad manners. I thought that if she would get to know me better she would change her attitude. She refused to exchange more than 2 lines with me. I even tried asking her for advice (she's older) but she got defensive about it and took it as an offense regarding her age.
I've brushed off the fact that she will never say hello to me if she doesn't have some witnesses. I've tried to forget the bullying (if we're at the table and I seem not to eat she will persistently ask me why I'm not eating and if I would like something else). Hell, I didn't make much of it when she started talking to my boyfriend about "His" wedding that he would have in the future, although I was right next to her and she hadn't spoken a single word to me all night.
Normally I would not give it too much attention but my boyfriend is really close to his family and that means I have to go through the whole unnerving experience at least once a week and it's frankly too much for me. He says there is nothing he can do about it and he agrees that it has become a problem in our relationship. I feel that she wants me out of the picture and that nobody is reacting. I feel hurt and although he seems to care there is nothing he is willing to do.
The most annoying thing is that now she seems to be hitting on him also. Calling him almost everyday for stupid reasons. When we're together she only talks to him. A couple of days ago, she came to us, ignored me and punctuated every question by using his name so that I would understand that I should refrain from answering. When I did, she acted like it did not happen. I sat between her and my bf at the table because that was the organized placement. She decided to move next to him because it was a better position and she explicitly told her husband to move because she wanted to sit next to my bf.
She picked lint off my bf's shirt. She tried arranging his tie. She talked about football just so she could know his opinion on this or that. She would constantly interrupt our banter with stupid things like offering him (just him) a peach that was on the table. If he wanted one he would have taken one, sheesh. I had told him she would try to do this beforehand so we talked and acted like we could not hear. She insisted 7 times. I couldn't believe my eyes. I thanked her nicely but refused so that she would realize how silly she was acting.
At one point I could not take it anymore. She offered him food of her plate. He declined but I told her that if he wanted he could have easily taken food from my plate as it was almost full and I was not hungry. And it would seem "more appropriate", as I put it.
What is she trying to do? I just don't know how to cope with this.
