How to get back with ex- due to long distance

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04-12-12, 11:04 AM
Axis

How to get back with ex- due to long distance

Anybody in a long distance relationship and success to make it work after break up? please share your experience and advice.

My ex and I broke up and this caused me alot of pain since three months ago. Im devastated, I love him so much. We're in a long distance relationship and I miss him so much even after the break up.

I believe the distance changed his feeling, I did the begging and stuffs and it doesnt work, I wonder how and what should I do to get him back due to this distance. Advice please!
04-12-12, 11:28 AM
RipVanWinkleX

The way you worded it sounds like you were together till he left. Or was it a long distance relationship in the first place?
04-12-12, 11:30 AM
basilandthyme

Axis, when one wants to get back with the ex, the first thing they must do is fix the underlying problem which caused the breakup in the first place. Unless the problem is fixed, the relationship will never last.

In your case, the problem which must be solved is distance. If you moved to where he is, would he reconsider? And if you're serious about getting him back, don't give me any excuses as to why you can't move. You need to show him that he's your #1 priority in life.

That being said, it's also entirely likely that he's found someone else. Doing the long distance thing leaves so many of a person's needs unmet. It wouldn't be at all surprising if he's found a local girl who fills all his needs.
04-12-12, 11:30 AM
Jeany

I think you should move on. You said you did all stuff to get him back especially begging, but it doesn't work. Don't beg for love honey.
04-12-12, 12:28 PM
Axis

Quote:

Originally Posted by RipVanWinkleX [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The way you worded it sounds like you were together till he left. Or was it a long distance relationship in the first place?

We were separated cause of our job, tried to find a job in the same area/country but no succeed. Then we decided to do the long distance as it is, suddenly he pulled away and he said his feeling changed. We were scheduled to meet again but he broke up with me 2 months before. I dont have so much money to go to him right now, he is in another side of the world! Im so devastated.. I mis him deeply.
04-12-12, 12:28 PM
Axis

Quote:

Originally Posted by RipVanWinkleX [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The way you worded it sounds like you were together till he left. Or was it a long distance relationship in the first place?

We were separated cause of our job, tried to find a job in the same area/country but no succeed. Then we decided to do the long distance as it is, suddenly he pulled away and he said his feeling changed. We were scheduled to meet again but he broke up with me 2 months before. I dont have so much money to go to him right now, he is in another side of the world! Im so devastated.. I mis him deeply.
04-12-12, 12:35 PM
Axis

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Axis, when one wants to get back with the ex, the first thing they must do is fix the underlying problem which caused the breakup in the first place. Unless the problem is fixed, the relationship will never last.

In your case, the problem which must be solved is distance. If you moved to where he is, would he reconsider? And if you're serious about getting him back, don't give me any excuses as to why you can't move. You need to show him that he's your #1 priority in life.

That being said, it's also entirely likely that he's found someone else. Doing the long distance thing leaves so many of a person's needs unmet. It wouldn't be at all surprising if he's found a local girl who fills all his needs.

Its really not easy to just move to his place, he is in england and im in asia. I do want to move if there is a way. The only thing for us to be together is married and with our financial issue right now is not possible for us to do it right now. I cant let him go, I do want to us to be together but how???? I cry every single day, why this have to happen to me. I love him so much and I cant let go
04-12-12, 01:45 PM
basilandthyme

In that case, I suggest you start thinking about him instead of yourself. It's terribly selfish to ask him to do a long distance thing when it clearly doesn't meet his needs. Would you really choose to tether him to yourself when you can't even be there in person for him?
04-12-12, 02:20 PM
Axis

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

In that case, I suggest you start thinking about him instead of yourself. It's terribly selfish to ask him to do a long distance thing when it clearly doesn't meet his needs. Would you really choose to tether him to yourself when you can't even be there in person for him?

Before we did the LDR, I told him we should consider it because it will be hard and we should break up and he strongly said NO. He convinced me of future together (married, having kids) from there I started to fall deep for him and was really happy with his commitment. But now when I really fall so deeply in love with him, he cut me off and tell me his feelings changed.
04-12-12, 02:52 PM
basilandthyme

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Before we did the LDR, I told him we should consider it because it will be hard and we should break up and he strongly said NO. He convinced me of future together (married, having kids) from there I started to fall deep for him and was really happy with his commitment. But now when I really fall so deeply in love with him, he cut me off and tell me his feelings changed.

Yes, well feelings aren't set in stone. And while we can guess how we may feel or react in a given situation, we don't really know how we'll feel until it actually happens.

He thought he could do it, but it's turned out that he can't. End of story.
04-12-12, 03:01 PM
Axis

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes, well feelings aren't set in stone. And while we can guess how we may feel or react in a given situation, we don't really know how we'll feel until it actually happens.

He thought he could do it, but it's turned out that he can't. End of story.

How could someone throw away things just like that? how to make it work again? please dont tell me to just move on and let go. Im really in a deep lost and I love him SO much! I believe he is the love of my life and my only hope for the future.
04-12-12, 03:30 PM
Jeany

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How could someone throw away things just like that? how to make it work again? please dont tell me to just move on and let go. Im really in a deep lost and I love him SO much! I believe he is the love of my life and my only hope for the future.

does he love you the way you love him?
04-12-12, 05:51 PM
Axis

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeany [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

does he love you the way you love him?

he was so crazy in love with me, at the beginning of our relationship i wasnt sure about my feeling for him but he convinced me with his love and commitment and I fall in love so deep eventually. Now he said his feelings changed.. its sad.. really sad that I fall so deeply in love with him now when he left me.
04-12-12, 06:06 PM
Jeany

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

he was so crazy in love with me, at the beginning of our relationship i wasnt sure about my feeling for him but he convinced me with his love and commitment and I fall in love so deep eventually. Now he said his feelings changed.. its sad.. really sad that I fall so deeply in love with him now when he left me.

sometimes guys do and say everything just to get what they want, as you said clearly his feelings changed so deal with it, there's nothing you ca do. You might be more better without him in your life. Find someone else who's worth it. I know its hard to move on at first but in time you'll see that you are more stronger.
05-12-12, 10:19 AM
Axis

I wish I can.. this weekend is his birthday, should I send him greetings? how wonderful last year we were together on his birthday never thought our relationship will end this way! SAD
05-12-12, 10:21 AM
Jeany

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I wish I can.. this weekend is his birthday, should I send him greetings? how wonderful last year we were together on his birthday never thought our relationship will end this way! SAD

you can do it! Don't torture yourself.
05-12-12, 11:10 PM
lylufy

I think he does not love you like the way you love him ! I agree with Jeany that the more difficult things the more efforts man can do to get it.
And may be at the beginning, he was crazy in love with you because of your difficult love from you.
From his sudden changing, I can sure that ! No man has true love and commitment can split up their GF because of distance in sort time like that
(except the family prevents).
So, you shouldn't be sad much. If financial issue is impossible with both of you, why don't you focus on solve it first ? May be it's also his anxiety right now.