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Looking for replies first and then I will let you know how I actually handled it and from the feedback I didn't do well with it.
You are at work. Is maybe 2 hours before having to leave and your cell phone rings and you pick it up. It is a friendly ex and she isn't aware you are at work.
What do you say to her? Wanting to see where I went wrong, lmao.
You say I'm at work and I can't talk right now, lmfao.
Okay, that came up but what if they keep talking? How do you handle that? She is very and I mean very talkative.
Well it all depends on how you feel. If you WANT to still talk to her, then talk away, arrange a date even. Although, in my opinion, exes are exes for a reason. If you want nothing to do with her, be polite, end the conversation when you can, and forget about her.
I'll tell you the scenario because I have to go soon and I'll check back here tomorrow.
So I told the set up part. So I pick it up and she is going on about when are you leaving to pick up your mom from the airport?
I reply, " I am at work" I can't talk.
She says, " I thought you were gone by now, why did you pick up your cell phone if you are still at work?"
" because I get work calls on my cell phone too"
" But didn't you see it was my phone number, so why pick it up and not let it go to Voice mail and check later when free?"
" I didn't, I picked it up and I am at work and is this an emergency?"
"What? no, I was calling about your airport trip and why are you taking a tude with me, I didn't know you were still at work or I wouldn't have even called you"
" I am working and have people around me so I will ask you again, is this an emergency? "
"Don't talk to me that way like I am some random stranger to you -- I didn't know you were at work and when we dated you never picked your cell up at work"
"Okay, so again no emergency?
"No, going. Love you and to your mom."
_________
"Nothing back?"
" Bye"
"Bye"
Then a little later I sent her a text saying " I am very, very unhappy with you"
She sounds controlling... And a bit needy... Drop her.
I don't really have any friendly exes so I would have given them the button.
That has to be the most bizarre conversation ever - from BOTH your ends. Including your last text about being very unhappy with her.
From your end, all that repetition about questioning an emergency was totally unnecessary. It was clear by her conversational mode that it wasn't an emergency :P When she asked why you answered the phone, all you needed to do was say "I'm really busy right now - can I call you back in a couple of hours?"
Why are you still talking to your ex? Clearly you and/or her still aren't over the break up.
Why is your ex telling you she loves you? Jeeeezus, any new girl won't like that or your effed up ex for that matter. She sounds intrusive and self-absorbed. Anyone with half a brain would have apologized for calling you at work (once you told them) and said they'd call you later. Not ask you why you picked up if you were at work. Twit.
You should have not allowed her to do any talking. Just said "I'm at work and i"ll call you back at 5:00. Then hit "end."
IMO, you should have said I'll call you back when I get a break. I don't see it as being malicious on the exes part and if she still loves you, since she ended with " Love you" says it all, lol. You probably hurt her feelings. I don't think the extra text touch was needed obviously she got you were PO'd at her. Set better boundaries with her and be clear.
Is dropped as a Girlfriend, so you mean drop her as a friend because of the phone call?Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous_a [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
We are still close grew up together, there is a lot of history between us, not only romantic history. One of her brothers is my best friend. I know she still loves me.Quote:
Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It is difficult to get the context right because the call went a few minutes but was giving the meat of the call. I get it looks ****ed up to the observers/readers. I texted so she wouldn't call me back in 10 mins, lmao.
She wasn't responding when I asked is it an emergency, so I kept pressing her on it to have it click in, it never clicked in.
Had to get my mother after work so I had no time during or after to ever call her back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
She always says it, will say it as long as we are still friends. Years of history between us. Fact she says it doesn't upset me, fact she expects it back upsets me. She never did apologize.
Her brother said she felt I wasn't being a friend to her in my tone on the phone. I don't know what else I could have done to make her see work calls equal not cool unless an emergency. JFC.
No it was probably like you said innocent for her to call and she never did make work calls to me, only texts when working. But she wouldn't get off the ****ing phone when I said I AM WORKING.Quote:
Originally Posted by sadbunnyface [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But she was hurt because I was working? It looked bad on me to take that personal call, I just moved desks and was in a new area too.
I told her plan a call, don't just call, in other words text first and see where I am at.
I think she was hurt because of the tone you took with her. As I said before, the whole repetition about the "is it an emergency" was totally uncalled for.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jffs24 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you'd said in a friendly manner "I'm sorry can't talk at work, can I call you this evening?" I doubt she would have been offended. At any rate, you know her better than us. If you've been a former boyfriend and mate for years, you should know by now how she works.
The whole conversation by both parties was "uncalled" for IMO. ;) "I'm at work, I'll call you when I'm finished." Don't accomodate her anymore. You are going to have a hard time with any new girl you become more then casual with if this chicky is that familiar with you. Start doing the fade on her and get her used to you not considering her a priority. Goodness.. you enabled her to carry on by not ending it and she was a twit by not realizing she should have just said "okay, I'll call you later"
Two wrongs here as far as I can see. Tell her not to insist in future when you tell her you're at work if you're afraid of hurting her feelings and refuse to just do what you should do, which is immediately end the call after you say you're at work and will call her later.
Simple!
She complained to her brother and then he talked to me about, sometimes she can be immature. ( her bro is also my best friend).Quote:
Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I kept saying emergency more for the co workers who were watching me take the call and for her to click in that I was working and not able to talk. She does stuff and doesn't think and if I was to be honest I didn't notice the phone # I just automatically picked it up because work contacts have my cell. So now she knows I screen HER calls and is hurt on that too.
I do know how she is and I know if I pick it up it will be hard to get rid of her. I didn't want her to know I screen her.
I agree, I played a part too. I didn't realize she was so hurt by it until her bro talked with me and to make it worse I mentioned it to my mother that she had called and I was upset at her and even my own mother didn't like how I handled it. lmao, can't win.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
She's been in my life since teens, so she will always be around in some capacity. Both families are tight. She isn't a jealous type, so she can't get along with girls I date. But girls I date are always jealous of her.
She can be immature and not think about the situation. This a prime example. Just because she thought I wasn't at work, fact I was didn't matter she kept talking because I picked it up.
I see my errors in it too now. Thanks all of ya for the insights.