Can Men and Women be friends?
Ladies, just wanted to hear your opinions on if men and women can be friends, especially if one of them (or both for that matter) is married. This is a rhetorical question meant to start conversation, but I have a specific story to emphasize the point.
I am friends with a woman for many years now. For most of that time, we only talked or saw each other occasionally, but in recent years, we got closer and talk all the time now. All the time meaning every day. I almost never initiate contact, she reaches out to me probably 98 times out of 100. But she will text me multiple times a day. Checking in during the morning to see how I slept and how my day is going, and to tell me about her day so far. Midday or so to see how my day is going and tell me about hers. Later in the day talking about whatever she is doing, whether errands, the gym, whatever. And normally at night, before she goes to sleep, just to touch base and say hi and say good night. She initiates contact probably 4-5 different times a day.
Very often, she will do this on weekends too, many times telling me that she wanted to check in with me to let me know where she was and what she was doing. Oftentimes, late at night when she is getting ready to come home from wherever and wanted to check in and let me know she was going to be home soon or whatever. When I tell her that isn’t necessary, she usually says that she feels bad if she doesn’t check in with me.
She pushes me a lot to get together, but because I am married (she is not), I just don’t think it is a good idea. She will get upset that I don’t go to dinner with her, hang out together, whatever. She knows that my wife, and one of my good friends (who she knows) do not think it is a good idea we talk, and both think that she has severely crossed the line (and I have as well by default) because a woman should not be talking to a married man more than occasionally. She is adamant that I am just a good, close friend and that no one seems able to understand platonic friendships. She sees nothing wrong with talking to me all the time, and at whatever time of day. 7AM is not unusual, and neither is 11PM. Sometimes, she has texted out of the blue well after 11PM too, especially if it is a weekend and she is out and wanted to tell me she is going home soon. While she has never made a move, most people think that she has technically made a move by all the communication and emotional connection.
Just was wondering what everyone’s thoughts were on if friendships were even possible between men and women. I must admit that the whole thing feels weird to me, but because she has never tried anything, I feel that maybe I am overreacting. Most people I tell the story to think that she has way crossed the line though, and that they think she is hoping I get divorced and then will be there for me. But, she has also told me multiple times she doesn't like me in that way and likes me as just a close friend. Maybe she is lying, who knows.
