Best sex of your life may not be with the love of your life?

This one is for the girls:

Ladies, I have a question that I can´t get rid of: Some time ago, one friend of mine told me that the best sex she ever had was with a past boyfriend ( I don´t know if was a boyfriend or just one night actually) but she said that to me once and she was dating this guy that she married a couple of year later. Last week, another friend told me that her current boyfriend is the love of her life, but her past boyfriend used to give her much more pleasure than him.

In my head, the best we ever had is with the one we end up with, or in other words, the love of our life. I mean, both of my friends really love their boyfriends, but it seems that the best sex vs the love of their lives maybe something different.

Is this true? I really want to understand this from the girls point of view.

I don't think it's a gender thing, I think it depends on the individual person.

That being said, for me personally, good sex is closely tied to how emotionally close I am to my partner. That is why the best sex I've had so far has been with my current partner, the "love of my life".

One is physical. The other is emotional. Yeah it would be awesome if it was the same person but that is not always the case.

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Originally Posted by DalM0m [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

One is physical. The other is emotional. Yeah it would be awesome if it was the same person but that is not always the case.

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But how I know that? My girl for example, once we were talking and I asked her about it. She said the our sex is the best she ever had. But I know girls usually lie to guys about sex stuffs...Give me a light here, please

Joe --

If this girl loves you then you are the best sex she ever had. Even if somebody else was techically better, any woman will any sense or sensability will never tell you anything other than you are the best. The only answer every guy wants is that he is the best b/c nobody wants visions of their partner with somebody else.

Stop asking

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Originally Posted by !Joe264! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But how I know that? My girl for example, once we were talking and I asked her about it. She said the our sex is the best she ever had. But I know girls usually lie to guys about sex stuffs...Give me a light here, please

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Why are you so obsessed? She told you she enjoys having sex with you, why aren't you satisfied with that answer? Just let it go. And do not call her a liar, do you not trust her? Why are you in a relationship with her if you don't trust her?

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Originally Posted by DalM0m [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Joe --

If this girl loves you then you are the best sex she ever had. Even if somebody else was techically better, any woman will any sense or sensability will never tell you anything other than you are the best. The only answer every guy wants is that he is the best b/c nobody wants visions of their partner with somebody else.

Stop asking

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interesting...never heard that before...what do you mean by "technically better"??

To think that you are the best your partner ever had is ego and nothing more. To be upset because you think you may not be the best your partner ever had is also your ego giving you hell. To be unable to realize that you may not be the best when it comes to sexual passion but you are the best in all ways, including sexual satifiaction, is immaturity.

Stop wondering about this and enjoy what you have in the moment. Take her compliment as you being the best she ever had and enjoy without ego. You are causing unnecessary angst in your own life.

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Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why are you so obsessed? She told you she enjoys having sex with you, why aren't you satisfied with that answer? Just let it go. And do not call her a liar, do you not trust her? Why are you in a relationship with her if you don't trust her?

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I do trust her...the point is...girls never tell the truth about this subject.

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Originally Posted by !Joe264! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I do trust her...the point is...girls never tell the truth about this subject.

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How do you know that? and... if you think that of her, then NO you do not trust her. You do not trust her to tell you the truth at the very least.

How old are you, Joe?

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Originally Posted by !Joe264! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This one is for the girls:

Ladies, I have a question that I can´t get rid of: Some time ago, one friend of mine told me that the best sex she ever had was with a past boyfriend ( I don´t know if was a boyfriend or just one night actually) but she said that to me once and she was dating this guy that she married a couple of year later. Last week, another friend told me that her current boyfriend is the love of her life, but her past boyfriend used to give her much more pleasure than him.

In my head, the best we ever had is with the one we end up with, or in othe
r words, the love of our life. I mean, both of my friends really love their boyfriends, but it seems that the best sex vs the love of their lives maybe something different.

Is this true? I really want to understand this from the girls point of view.

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Its possible that she may have had more pleasure with her ex. That's not abnormal. My ex and i had a good sex life but we are not compatible relationship wise. He'll even tell you that. We always said to each other we were each others best when we were dating. He wasnt a excellent bf at all but boy did he make me cum hard. So sometimes it be like that.

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Originally Posted by Starnique [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its possible that she may have had more pleasure with her ex. That's not abnormal. My ex and i had a good sex life but we are not compatible relationship wise. He'll even tell you that. We always said to each other we were each others best when we were dating. He wasnt a excellent bf at all but boy did he make me cum hard. So sometimes it be like that.

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Curious..and how that works for you in your new relationship? I mean..they were not that good...can you live with that?

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Originally Posted by !Joe264! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I do trust her...the point is...girls never tell the truth about this subject.

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1. You cannot possibly know what all girls always or never do.
2. You just repeated that you don't trust your girlfriend, you actually think she's lying to you.

to the original post very much depends on the type of person you are i personally find it very hard to detach sex from emotion therefore good sex for me is always with someone i love ergo the more i love them the better the sex others can just enjoy sex as the pleasurable activity it is without getting emotionally engaged, as regards your worries with your girlfriend just relax man, if shes happy with the physical side of things, if the other parts of your relationship are good too and better still if you love each other then why worry?

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Originally Posted by !Joe264! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

interesting...never heard that before...what do you mean by "technically better"??

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His physical moves were superior to other lovers; he lasted longer, made her orgasm more & or more intensely, he was bigger (or at least "fit" better) and/or he had a shorter refraction time.

Mentally, the love of her life should have a better, deeper emotional connection.

I'll give you can example from my own life. My EX was an amazing lover. I have never encountered anybody who could hold a candle to him. He pushed every button I ever had, almost every time. We had the kind of sex life they make porn fantasies about. Outside of the bedroom almost everything else about us was a mess. Lack of respect, infedility, taking for granted, different life goals, different points of view / interests. We just didn't work when we were doing anything other than having sex. But Ooooohhhhhhhh those fireworks.

My husband is a sweet, gentle, solid man with whom I have a lot in common. He's my bedrock & my touchstone. He gives my life meaning & purpose. I love him with all my heart & soul. It doesn't matter that we don't end up in orbit every time we make love. While the fireworks may be part of my past, I wouldn't trade my husband for the world & he is "the best sex ever" because the connections we have are so much more than physical.

But seriously, if my husband asked me I would never tell him that another man gave me more orgasms. That information could only hurt his feelings & it is not an indication that I want my EX back.

Now stop asking yoru lady this question.

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Originally Posted by DalM0m [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Now stop asking yoru lady this question.

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This^ ..

It's like mental pleasure vs physical pleasure....
They might be good in bed, but that doesn't mean you do everything else with them well.. it's about a good balance.

The best sex I ever had was with my ex and it was amazing! Sex in a relationship is obviously not everything but I do think that the better the sex is the more you love the person.

.... 0.o ....

Its all about balance and compatability. If all you had in common was sex, then your relationship would sink like the titanic at the first hurdle. A strong couple connects on every level and thats what you should be aiming for. If your worried about sex-then spice things up. Do some research like how to give her more intense orgasms etc and be patient, work together to achieve your goal. Try a new position occasionally-find new ones you both enjoy. Experiment with some sex toys together etc.. you already have the emotional connection and love each other and sex is good but you dont have to stop there. Experiment and have fun and forget your insecuries. Most women these days expect satisfaction in bed so if you wernt pleasing her-she prob wouldnt be your gf anymore so relax!

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My best sex was with random strangers. And believe it or not I'm a sentimental, sensitive chick. Yes my emotional sex is better with my long term boyfriend I hAve but boy I've sure had a lot of amazing sex with guys I didn't give a shit about

physical attraction vs emotional attraction are two totally separate things. you're lucky if you find 50% of both in one person and that person you should stick with...too much of either will result in not enough of the other and end disastrously

Well, sex is a highly individual and variable thing. Sometimes you want a quickie and it ain't gonna be that good, but it will relieve the itch, if you know what I mean. Sometimes you have all night and both can get pleasured multiple times. Really, I think good sex is directly proportional to how much you want it. I usually want it, and it is usually good. People are just different. How do you rate sex anyway? It isn't an olympic event.

I agree.... if she loves you there would be no comparison there

I would never tell anyone "This is the best sex ever!" because it would just be a lie anyways.

:) this is an intresting question

I think love and sex are very similar, I mean sex is love in its more profound sense, it´s just my opinion..

I agree, once i met a guy on resort, i did not love him, but we had the best ever sex

@DalM0m: You had your ex just for sex. Empty headed macho boy with big d1ck, how typical. Now you have some boring, unsatisfying sex with your current nice guy and you are comforting yourself that sex with current partner is emotional, but every time you do it, you fantasize about your ex macho boy with big tool nailing you hard.

Dal, I'm just curious, and this is not directed at you personally if that makes sense, but if you were on vacation and you happened to run into your ex while drunk, and knew your husband would never find out, would you one more time just to re-experience those sensations?

What and live with the guilt? I think most people have more sense than that.

Is not living with the guilt the main counter-motivation?

What your friends experienced is probably pretty common. I was with someone for 9 years and we had great sex but he was the biggest asshole ever and the last 3 years of our relationship there was no enjoyment in sex ever because we had zero intimacy. I'm with someone now who makes me happy in a million ways including sex but he's certainly not the "best" I've had. He however will be able to keep me please in a more 360' sort of way.

My point is - there are trade offs and you have to find the right balance. It'd be great if you could find a guy who was an A+++ in all fronts but I'd gladly trade the worlds best sex for a caring, respectiful, loving man who is capable of satisfactory sex.