I feel like no one will ever love me?

I just get this feeling… like an uneasy gut feeling.. that no one will ever love me. Im a girl and people have LIKED me before, but i just can't see it happening that someone will be MADLY IN LOVE with me. Its almost like I feel like I'm not worthy enough to have this kind of love, and heres why. Okay so i am decent looking.. I attract guys. I'm not the most beautiful but I attract guys. My personality… I just feel like its bland. And i know personality is the most important thing in a relationship, so that makes me feel like no one will ever be crazy about me because I'm just…. average. Average looks and bland/ nothing special about my personality. Yay. And I know you might say "there is someone for everyone someone out there will find you to be the most amazing person they have ever met blah blah blahhh", but i honestly don't see how anyone would see me as the most amazing person and fall in love with me… cuz i have nothing to offer! And i feel like eventually the guy will just get bored of me because I'm nothing special and they will move on to something better. It's seriously depressing me that this is how it is going to be. I am just an average person, and my personality… probably less then average… so why would anyone love me? I honestly don't even know, and thats my problem. I feel like I'm a hopeless case. :(

And i know that definitely no one will ever love me if I go about this way of thinking, but my problem is, its like I'm trapped in this way of thinking, and there is no way out, and nothing will persuade me.. THATS why i feel hopeless.

Trust me someone will love you.

Just because you havn't found them yet does not mean its not true :)

We all have been through this at some stage or another. You may be feeling down right now but things will change.



:):):):)

You're only 15 right?

Sometimes I think like that as well. But we have no choice but to hope for the best ,do we?

Hi Julia51423,

Couple of things that you need to know.

1) I feel, you are perhaps underestimating yourself a lot too much, which is not good. The point where you mentioned you are average looking, not beautiful and you will have nothing to offer to your lover, clearly shows you are not satisfied with what you are and hence, you are always complaining. This shows the negativity in you. Understand one thing, there are people who are even less than what you are, who even don't have things you have, some of them are differently abled etc. They can't, even in their wildest dream think about being loved by someone. So, don't complain or feel low about yourself. You are still at a much better position than few others that you have friends and people have liked you before.

2) Most importantly, you are perhaps in too much of a hurry to fall in love with someone. Understand, love, emotions, feelings, concerns, considerations, respect everything happens naturally. You cannot force anyone to Love you or fall for you even if you are the most beautiful person on earth. For any love relationship to develop, it is very much important that you become good friends with the other person. Friendship is a foundation to every Love relationship. Just like, stronger the Foundation, firmer will be the building. Similarly, stronger the friendship, better will be the relationship. When you become friends with someone, you give them the opportunity to understand you better, understand your likes and dislikes, your mood swings, your nature etc. So, try to be friends with as many people as you can. A good friendship will only lead to a good relationship.

For Love to happen, it will only happen when it's gonna happen. You simply cannot force someone on you. You simple cannot tell your heart to love someone. If its gonna happen, it will happen naturally when the time is right and demanding. Love happens when you don't need it at all. So, don't run after it or complain about it. It will knock at your door someday definitely. Be Sure !!

3) When you say " personality is the most important thing in a relationship", let me assure myself, that, you are not just talking about looks of an individual, but his qualities and characteristics as well. If by personality, you mean only the looks, then let me tell you, you are very much mistaken.
If you talk about flirting, if you talk about crush or infatuation, looks do play a very vital role. But when you talk about love or friendship, looks hardly matter. For love/friendship to happen, its very important that both individuals involved have a mutual respect for each other. Its not about enjoying the similarities, its about respecting the differences also.
For look and beauty, they will vanish with time but that doesn't mean, love disappears from life too. Love demands, mutual respect, considerations, trust, sacrifice and alot of commitment to your partner.

So, don't worry. You will definitely find someone for yourself. Just try to make as many friends as you can and don't run after love. It will happen at the right time.

Yeah ok but I'm really awkward and everyone thinks I'm weird, and once someone does really like me, once they actually get to know me they think "oh wait this girl isn't nearly as great as I thought" and they move on! I just feel like I'm alone and no one, not even my closest friends, understand.

Like, I'm nothing soecial, I have problems really connecting with people, and no one sees me as special. And truth is, I'm NOT! I always here about guys falling in love with the most amazing and fantastic girls who are beautiful and perfect as funny and outgoing... I'm none of those things! Wtf do I have to offer! Nothing! That's what!

I'm 25 and I still feel this way at times. But I know eventually I will have my happy ending when the time is right for me and now isn't the right time and the same for you. You just have not met the one for you yet and why settle with people who are not right for you just to have a person to call a bf? The happier you become with who you are, how you think, what you do, even happy with how you look others will notice that confidence about you and that kind of absolute confidence in I AM GREAT is a huge attraction to others, and others of the opposite sex. Don't give up.

Joanna1, yeah I know this, but the thing that is so frustrating and difficult to me is to try and GET this confidence, which I currently have none of.

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Originally Posted by Julia51423 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Joanna1, yeah I know this, but the thing that is so frustrating and difficult to me is to try and GET this confidence, which I currently have none of.

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Ha! You should have seen me at 15 lol

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Originally Posted by surfhb2 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ha! You should have seen me at 15 lol

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What do you mean by this?

You'll find it, reach out to groups that can help boost your confidence, don't try to do it alone you must have some friends who feel the same, join together and support each other, least that way you feel less lonely about things.

I think surfhb2 means he felt the exact same way as you when he was your age and things get better.

You're probably a lot smarter than average to even think about this in the way you are at age 15. You're way too young to know what the future will hold for you. As you go forward in life you will begin meeting people more like you (because your social circle will be based on your interests / personality rather than simply where you grew up like in high school). Just focus on developing yourself and your gifts and don't worry too much about this type of thing right now.

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Originally Posted by Julia51423 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What do you mean by this?

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It means alot of kids your age have this issue and grow up to be great adults with wonderful and happy lives

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Originally Posted by Julia51423 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Like, I'm nothing soecial, I have problems really connecting with people, and no one sees me as special. And truth is, I'm NOT! I always here about guys falling in love with the most amazing and fantastic girls who are beautiful and perfect as funny and outgoing... I'm none of those things! Wtf do I have to offer! Nothing! That's what!

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Hi Julia51423,

Just don't feel disheartened. I very well agree with what joanna1 said, you just have not got the one who is right for you. There is absolutely no point in hanging up with just anyone for the sake of having a boyfriend. Don't feel negative. You have friends on this forum with whom you can share anything - joys, sorrows, pains or just a daily activity. This forum is meant to connect people together. Feel free to consider us your friends and come up to us with, whatever you want to share.

Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice, and it has helped me out a lot. I'm sorry and I'm not usually that negative, but last week i think i really just hit my low.. as in I felt worthless and like shit all week. Im doing better now.. just trying to slowly work on getting my self esteem back, but thanks for all of your advice! :)

I, for one, definitely know how you feel. I've gone through this kind of stuff my whole life. I have always had a very low self-esteem. So, I know what you are going through. What only complicates matters is I have always been such a huge romantic. I am in love with the idea of finding my true soulmate some day. At times, it is really hard to believe that will ever happen.

I wish I could tell you differently, but for people like you and me, these sort of feelings will be a life long struggle. A lot of people will give you advice like "If you don't love yourself, nobody else can ever love you." Through personal experience, I can tell you that advice is BS and unhelpful. How does it help to tell me that when half the problem is I don't feel like anybody will ever love me.

The true advice is to do your best to put those feelings at the back of your mind and DO NOT let them control you. Get out there. Make friends. Do some social stuff and maybe you will meet guys who will be interested. Take it from me. I have gone through a lot of the same feelings myself... You know... except I'm a guy. LOL!

The fact of the matter is you may not think you are that attractive or interesting, but there will be other people who will disagree with you. Take it from me, that is what starts to help you gain some self-esteem. I've come a long way in life, and a lot of that has been through forcing myself to get out there a bit, and realizing that people truly do enjoy my company. So, if some people think you are pretty darn cool, it becomes hard not to admit maybe there is something they are seeing that you do not.

Good luck, my friend. I really do feel for you. I have a special place in my twisted black heart (after all, I am an Evil Jester, LOL) for my fellow sufferers of this terrible fate of a low self-esteem.

Don't worry, it will happen

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Originally Posted by Julia51423 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice, and it has helped me out a lot. I'm sorry and I'm not usually that negative, but last week i think i really just hit my low.. as in I felt worthless and like shit all week. Im doing better now.. just trying to slowly work on getting my self esteem back, but thanks for all of your advice! :)

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Excellent!

No one really love another person. People are in love with the pleasure, money, sex, support, or whatever benefit a person can provide for them. Or, they are in love with the idea they have about the person. It is sad, really.

I don't think that is true. Though, I do have to say that it is very hard not to believe it is true sometimes. Something I have struggled with all of my life. I was in that dark place for a very long time. I do not want to go back there if I can help it. But, I do not personally believe that is true. I think almost everybody is capable of true love. People just too often try to force it, or worse, expect love to always be like the "newly-wed" period. Too many people expect things to always be new and exciting, but they can't be like that forever. What a lot of people fail to realize is that love can actually be even a million times better still when that happens. Anybody can be "in love" when it is new and exciting. But, to still be in love, warts and all, when everything has been revealed, that is a beautiful thing. Too bad it seems so rare in this day an age. I won't give up. I've come close many times... given up for years on the possibility. I don't want to go back there again.

Maybe I am just a positive person, but some of you just have too little faith and confidence in yourselves. At 15 we are all awkward and at least a little weird because you are balancing figuring out life, hormones, yourself. etc. Finding love at that age would be difficult because no one knows who the heck they are or what they want yet.

Funny thing is feel like I have always been the same person, yes I have improved over the years, but I feel I am still me and it just took others a while to see me. For me its not that hard to find someone to love me, its hard to find someone that I have that special connection with and is as good to me as I am to her.

Love is out there and if you keep putting yourself out there you will be rewarded.

Hun your 15. Your self esteem is low. Its v common. You will grow and change, become more self confident in time. Your at a difficult age but life gets easier. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Its all part of growing up and emotionally maturing. Just make sure you do things that make you feel good now. Its important to have good decent friends that you trust and make you smile and its important to experiment with your self image. Try different styles, look after your skin, wear some makeup etc. Soon you will feel more comfortable being yourself but you gotta find yourself first :) xx

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